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A mastif whelp with other ruff-Island-lik Currs fetcht from amongst the Antipedes

Which bite and barke at the fantasticall humorists and abusers of the time [by William Goddard]
Goddard, William

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THE MASTIFFE WHELPE
  
To my very loving Frends, GF. RN. WS. RG. IF. IG. Gentlemen of the Innee Temple.
  
TO THE READER.
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AN APPOLOGJE.
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DOGGES FROM THE Antippedes.
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Satire 77.

[Wilt bee a Serving-man? thou art not fitt]

Wilt bee a Serving-man? thou art not fitt,
Thy stubborne pate affordes noe reatching witt:
If thou would'st soe; thou must loose learning than,
That ornament getts smale forth' Seruing-man.
But wilt a states-man serue? where's thy braines stretch?
Fie, twill not plott, tis naught; twill not retch.
Wilt follow his yong sonn? foole, awaie: Fie,
Examin how thou art in quallitie.
Canste hawke, hunte; or haste the hots-mans skill?

Canst drabb, dice, drincke, or's wenching luste fulfill?
If not? awaie; awaie: will bee thy cheere,
With this adition, What makes this Asse heere?
Wilt wait on's daughter? ah hah, there's a Lasse:
How's thy humor? If sadd? then th'art an asse.
Canst neither daunce, nor sing? foole then awaie
Why quallities is all in all, I saie,
If canst not musicke plaie, or dandle Pearle
Or goe (if sent) in priuate to an Earle,
If canst not these doe? (credit me or trie)
Thou't be reputed of noe quallitie.
Awaie thou't turned be, (wantst but those partes)
And held a foole, maugre thy librall artes.
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