The Furies :: :: University of Virginia Library

The scourge of Carthage and Augustus were
Two pillers of great Rome and taught her how
To make the World beneath her Empire bow;
Yet they sometimes would state affaires forbeare
Their Enius and their Maroes Musæ to heare,
Whose tunefull verse did smooth cares ruged brow;
Which custome since those Worthies did alow.
Be pleased (Sir) to lend a gentle eare
Vnto my Muse, and cease some little space
From serious studies worthie pretious time,
To grauest readers verse is no disgrace,
Good wits reape good by reading idle rime,
But smile on these with gentle entertaine,
And they perhaps will cause you smile againe.

Epig. I. Ad Lectorem.

If that you please read on; yet reade not one,
Nor two, nor three, but all, else pray read none.

Epig. II. Ad Tisiphonem.

Nights second birth by th' Acherontike Lake,
Who from the scourge of sin thy name dost take,
Vp, for thou hast not on Cocytus strand,
More cause to shake thy euer burning brand
Against the gyant brood of sin, then here,
Obserue them well, Ile cause them to appeare;
But scourge them so that this report may passe,
Tisiphone no partiall Furie was.

Epig. III.

VVhat haue we heere? a Citie-Dame? sure no,
'Tis loues own Iris, or she should be so.
How daintily the Raine-bow round dispread
Vnder her light-Scotch hat becomes her her head,
It is a signe the weather will be faire,
To the new walkes, she is gone to take the Aire:
But at that little gate how gets she out,
Her head with such a compasse archt about?
With much adoe; therefore these dames desire
Great London wil build little Moregate higher.

Epig. IIII.

Stand by my Masters, wil yee be o're runne?
See yonder comes the Chariot of the Sunne,
How the fierce Horses! foame the coach-wheeles mount!
He driues like Phaeton: 'tis some great Count,
Tush, quoth another, you mistake, inquire;
And you shal find your Count some pippen-squire:
His liuing is but small; yet must he haue.
His horse and coach, and he himselfe go braue.
But what maintaines it? misse you not his men?
See you his Liueries? where are they then?
In his horse mouthes the men are all confin'd:
And with their Liueries his coach is lin'd.

Epig. V. In Durum.

A friend of Durus comming on a day
To visite him, finding the doores say nay
Being lockt fast vp, first knockt and then did pause,
As Lord haue mercie on's had beene the cause;
But missing it, he askt a neighbour by,
When the rich Durus dores were lockt and why?
He said it was a custome growne of late,
At dinner time to locke your great mans gate.
Durus poore friend admir'd, and thought the doore
Was not for state lockt vp; but 'gainst the poore:
And thence departing emptie of good cheere
Said, Lord haue mercie on vs is not heere.

Epig. VI. In Aquilam Romanam.

That Eagles yet sau'd Rome 'twas neuer knowne:
Then in Romes Ensigne, why is th' Eagle showne?
Yet Rome by Geese, once free from thrall was set:
Then why doth thanklesse Rome the goose forget?

Epig. VII. In Gurmundum.

The fat Gurmundo, great Idolater,
His belley 'fore his God doth far prefer,
His deare lou'd Idol is his stomack, that
In priuate eates vp so much flesh and fat,
And his oblation common at that shrine
Is a fat Capon and a cup of wine,
Boyes laugh to see him wallow in the street
His Capon-fatted panch ouer his feet
Hanges Cisterne like, and as 'tis said he sweares,
He hath not seene the cocke this many yeares;
Then haplesse thou that art Gurmundoes hen,
And all that suffer vnder such fat men.

Epig. VIII. In Liuiam.

Now lite-heel'd Liuia, whether trip it you,
Vnto the shop againe? pray, tel me true?
Will not that gallant sir from whom you came,
Buy that set ruffe this morne, sent by your dame?
He will not, well, although he doth not care
For your dames Laundrie; yet he loues your ware.

Epig. IX. In Basiliscum.

Svburbian Basiliscus in his lookes
Beares signes of death, his eyes are murders bookes.
But what's the cause he lately goes so trim?
He keepes a Trul, or rather she keepes him,
What is his function? or what hath he beene,
A man of armes? no, but of harmes, what then?
Some stile him Captaine for that bloudy deed,
When with his blade he made his friends heart bleed;
But in true valour know, no man is poorer,
He is no Captaine but a turn-bull roarer.

Epig. X. In Blæsum.

Nor gold, nor siluer is in Blæsus purse,
Nor hath he any creddit, which is worse;
Yet those gilt spurres, which Blæsus bootes adorne,
Sayes Blæsus at his heeles rich gold doth scorne.

Epig. XI. In Pontiam.

A friend of mine with a loue feuor taken
To the faire rose-cheekt Pontia, and forsaken,

Did wish that I with mine owne eyes would proue
If any could dislike, what he did loue,
I did, and as he said, for face and feature,
Pontia at first did seeme an heauenly Creature;
But strange to tel, this gold was copper gilt,
Comming abroad, her beautie all was soilt,
Blowne from her cheekes by the blind Garlick man;
Then lookt she like deaths picture pale and wan,
My freind admir'd; but I did shew the reason:
Though to such beauties, I doe know 'twas treason,
Yet they know wel, that any Fustilugges
May buy such beautie in a shop of drugges;
Then courage friend quoth I for six pence cost,
Thy best beloued may buy, what she hath lost;
With that loues feuor left him and he swore
Rather then loue such drugges, hee'd loue a ---.

Epig. XII. In marittimos.

Some say, that Sea men, more then land men loue
Fond Venus sports, and thus their saying proue,
Since Venus selfe came of the Seas light froth
Sea men are Venerists, and to say troth,
If as tis said, the Seas light Venus bore,
Sea men doe smell of Venus on the shore.

Epig. XIII. In Hillum.

Moor fields no more, shal now be Moor fields cal'd,
Hillus wel read before the same were wal'd;
Seeing the plough goe there did call to mind
A certaine prophesie, which he did find
In Merlin, which he said, then came to passe,
Belieue it you that like it, this, it was:
When one whole yeare a Holiday shall last,
Moore fields shall ploughed be the ditch new cast,
If this be true and as all men doe talke,
Their's on a holy-day scarce roome to walke,
Or if Hill ly'de; yet since the sence is true,
London may well giue Holliday his due.

Epig. XIIII.

Few gallants lately will, nor is it strange,
Bargaine for needments in the new Exchange:
For on the strand, the new stands bleake and cold,
And they are hot in credit with the old.

Epig. XV. In Lasconem.

Hot-liue'rd Lasco with loues longing itches,
But what's the cause since he both yong and rich is,
That whom he woes, he wines not? I doe smell it,
And Lasco be not angrie if I tell it,
Thy face well featur'd is, so is thy nose
Though somewhat crimson, which thou dost suppose
With Campher dayly daubing to amend;
But know this drug was neuer louers friend
Then, when to maids or widdowes thou art going
Leaue it, the smell of it doth spoile thy woing.

Epig. XVI. In Orgum.

Orgus loues learning, yes, and will prefer it,
Vowes his assistance, true, I doe auer it;
Yet this I know, the marke, at which he shoots
Is but to make learning make cleane his boots.

Epig. XVII. In Neponem.

Nepo that payes his hostesse by post scoring,
And hath spent all to learne the art of roaring,
Would be obseru'd, his qualities are many:
Drinke he can stiffely, bandy oathes with any,
Tel tales of bloud and wounds, roare, fight and stab,
Looke bigge, speake bombast, dally with a drab.
All these good parts and more then these hath he;
Yet wants what he deserues: but Nepo be
A good proficient in them, and outrunne
Thy fellow roarers, as thou hast begunne,
And thou before them al maist haue this hap,
To crowne thy head with Stories corner cap.

Epig. XVIII.

Loue as 'tis said, doth worke with such strange tooles,
That he can make fooles wise men, wise men fooles,
Then happie I! for being nor foole, nor wise;
Loue with his toyes and tooles I shall despise,

Epig. XIX.

What Don past by vs with such complement?
Obseru'd you not his strange acoutrement?
His deep set holland ruffe so high prefer'd
Aboue his chin, did hide his piked beard:
His cuffes about the rist of eyther hand,
Were both as large and deep as any band
'Bout meane mens neckes: and as the fashion's now
A sugar loafe did crowne his brain-sick brow.
His sleeue vnto his arme sat close and scant,
As if his Countrie English wolle did want,
And want only he wore his desperate spit.
In briefe, for fashion, complement and wit,
The man so like a stranger did appeare,
I knew not whence he was; till drawing neare,
I found by his short cloakes new Spanish cape,
'Twas Don Penechio, Spaines new English Ape.

Epig. XX.

VVhen fan and fardingale came to carouse
Milke with a milke-maid in a darie house,
Good Lord (said she) the milke pale standing by
Rather then beare such burthens I would die.
Yet (Mistris) quoth the milke-maide, you can beare
Vpon your head an Asses load of heare.

Epig. XXI. In Miluam.

VVhen Milua to disgrace me cals me Poet,
Then Milua graces me and doth not know it;
Fo Kings and Prophets Poets haue beene stil'd.
Then Milua, since thy enuie is beguil'd
To grace me thus in thinking to abuse me,
Still call me Poet and I will excuse thee.

Epig. XXII.

In tunefull accents of a dolefull straine
Old Verlams fall thus Colin did complaine:
Verlam I was: what boots it what I was
Sith now I am but weeds and wastfull grasse?
But liu'd he now to see our Townes each day
Made coats fot sheep: of them he thus might say,
Townes once we were: what boots it what we were
Since nothing now but sheepes dung doth appeare?
Here's neyther greene of wastfull weeds of grasse,
Our wretched case is worse then Verlams was.

Epig. XXIII. In Malsanctum.

Beardlesse Malsanctus many doe thee wrong,
To thinke thee so deuout, and yet so yong.
Dost goe to lecturs? I commend thee for it:
But wherefore? to what end? O I abhor it;
To shoot thy darts from a lust-sparkling eye,
Into the breast of some chast Susan by.
Leaue it Malsanctus, marke how I aduise,
Leaue not the Church, but leaue this wicked guise.

Epig. XXIIII. In Popæam.

Tvrn Bul Popæa to her healths annoy
Made drunk at supper by a roaring boy,
Reeles through the street: at which an elder Sage,
Who neuer knew such custome in his age,
Admiring said, I once, and, as I thinke,
But once did see a man thus drown'd in drinke,
But neuer woman. One that heard him vse
This sharpe reproofe, our women to excuse,
Said, Sir, were this a woman that is drunke,
'Twere strange indeed; but 'tis not, 'tis a punke.

Epig. XXV. In Ocuum.

The worshipful Sir Ocuus deeds of pitie
Haue wonne him grace in Countrie and in Citie.
For the poore wife of many a man decaid
Hath tasted his free bountie: and 'tis said
He leads a single life; that he may giue
His almes to those, that poore, yet wedded liue:
But they that thinke this Charitie, mistake;
For know 'tis only for the womans sake,
That in her husbands house by Ocuus planting,
The horne of plentie growes, and nothing's wanting.

Epig. XXVI. In Vindicem.

Foule is the bird, that wil defile his nest;
Yet Vindex worse then eyther bird or beast,
All women monsters euery where proclaimes:
Which to affirme the Stagirite he names,
Who sayes they are imperfect Creatures all.
Then what doth Vindex his owne mother call?
A monster? yes; then this must currant passe,
A monster woman bore a monstrous Asse.

Epig. XXVII.

Some thinke, that naked vertue, which of yore
Was seene in women, is now seene no more.
I thinke not so: if vertue naked be,
In women, men, more vertue nere did see.
For doubtlesse vertue being naked rests
With much content in their all naked brests.

Epig. XXVIII.

Many wil say money will not increase
In any poore mans purse, while we haue peace;
But let such men complaine on peace no more,
I thinke our warres are hotter then before.
For both in men and women, this is knowne,
Surgeons ne're found more wounds to worke vpon.

Epig. XXIX. In Syringam Panafugientem.

From rugged Pan though louely Syrinx fled,
Pretending so to saue her maidenhead;
Yet in the end the chaster Nimph did stay
To be the pipe, when Pan would please to play.

Epig. XXX. In Remum.

Remus doth kicke, because I rub the soare,
Rayles at my labours, sweares their fruit's all chore,
And in his rage will write against me too,
As some suppose. I prethe Remus do:
The idle Drone hummes lowder then the Bee,
Yet hath no sting. Can Remus then hurt mee?