The Furies :: :: University of Virginia Library

Come sad Alecto leaue thy dismall cell,
And bring thy snake-heard sisters vp from hell,
First take thy turne, doubt not the want of worke,
I will present thee thousand sinnes to ierke;
But be no partiall Furie, doe not spare
This man for wealth, that woman for her fare,
This gull for cheere, that foole for his fine cloathes;
This for his lookes that other for his oathes;
Ierke generall sinne, that it may heere be seene,
Alecto scourges none for priuate spleene.

Epig. VII. In Syrenem.

T'is strange to see a Mermaide, you will say,
Yet not so strange, as that I saw to day,
One part of that which 'boue the waters rise.
Is woman, th' other fish, or fishers lies.
One part of this was man or I mistooke,

The other woman, for I pray (sirs) looke,
The head is mans, I iudge by hat and haire,
And by the band and doublet it doth weare,
The bodie should be mans, what doth it need?
Had it a codpeice, 'twere a man indeed.

Epig. VIII. In Caluionem.

Sir Caluioes haire did shed not long agoe,
And on his head grew thin; but will you know,
How 'tis of late so thicke and comely growne,
Why, he but mockes the world, 'tis not his owne,
To women he gaue his, then is it strange,
If he weare theirs? no, 'tis an honest change.

Epig. IX. In pecuniæ penuriam.

Mone I for monie, is the common crie;
Yet yong and old men both can tell you why,
When man is yong, he spends vpon his pleasures,
When man is old, he hoords vp golden treasures,
Out of the yong mans schoole of Venerie
The old man learnes his art of Vsurie;

Then in each age, since monie first was knowne;
This is the cause that men for monie mone,
Yong men doe spend all; therefore yong men want,
Old men doe hoord all: therefore monies scant.

Epig. X. In Fabium.

Behold the little great man, Fabius comes,
Litle in wit and great in wealthie summes;
But why doth wealthie Fabius walke alone,
When many men for seruice make such mone,
That the west gate of Paules great Ile (poore hearts)
In paper daily speakes their better parts?
T'is said, his legges that garter-loaded reeles,
And very shooe-ties fright men from his heeles,
This then the cause Paules gate for seruice begs,
Fabius weares seruingmen vpon his legs.

Epig. XI. In artem, fortunam, & ignorantiam.

VVhen Fortune fel on sleep, & hate did blind her,
Art Fortune lost, and ignorance did find her,
Since when dull ignorance with Fortunes store,
Hath bin enricht, and Art hath still bin pore.

Epig. XII. In Vertumnum.

Stay (my Vertumnus) whether dost thou goe,
To thy chast Mistris, whose true heart doth know.
No loue but thine? O foole to thinke that shee
Will keep from others; what she giues to thee,
Here could I tel thee of her strange desire,
Her trickes to set the coldest hearts on fire,
But least by laying open such foule crimes,
I rather seeme to teach, then checke the times.
Know this, the best, that is, or 'ere hath beene
Of common women is no better then
Such common things, at which (pho stop thy nose
Each french-sicke stalion may put downe his ---

Epig. XIII. In Romam.

Hate & debate, Rome through the world hath spred,
Yet Roma Amor is, if backward read;
Then 'ist not strange Rome hate should foster? no,
For out of back-ward loue, all hate doth grow.

Epig. XIIII. In Curionem.

Tis said, when Rufus Englands King did raigne,
When vnto him a seruant of his trg;e
A paire of stockings of a mark did bring
That then he said, why these are for a King;
But liu'd he now, to see sir Curio hold
Both wollen, iersie, silke, all slite but gold;
What then' I thinke, his crowne, if he were here
Should stil be gold, his stockings woollen were;
Why then are Curioes legs with gold orespread?
I thinke, because, he hath a woollen head.

Epig. XV. In Ebrionem.

See where Don Ebrio like a Dutchman goes,
Yet drunk with English Ale, one would suppose,
That he would shoulder downe each dore and wal;
But they must stand, or he (poore foole) must fal,
Well home at length he comes and on his bed,
He layes him downe to rest his drink-drownd-head.
But in the morne, the drunken feuor past,
Waking he feeles his pocket all in hast,
And finding there no pennie of that store
Which in his purse, he had, the night before,

Vnto himselfe then soberly alone,
He softly sighes, and saies his moni's gone.

Epig. XVI. In Amorem.

Loue hath two diuers winges, as louers say,
Thou following him, with one, he flies away,
With th' other, if thou flie, he followes thee;
Therefore the last, loue only vse for me.

Epig. XVII. In Odoriferum.

Great Alexanders bodie, which is strange,
Perfum'd his cloathes, as oft, as he did change:
But Odorifero sayes, that's nothing rare,
In euery place he comes, into the ayre
His body all about sweet odors throwes,
Nay more, he sweates pure Ciuet as he goes,
Yet you shal find, vncase him to the skin,
Though he smel sweet without he---.

Epig. XVIII. In Critticum.

Some Crittick in a spleene, himselfe farre prouder
Will aske, why Gentlewomen with sweet pouder
Sprinkle their haire; but pray, let me alone,
Ile answere him, this haire not being their owne,
But combings bought, might peraduenture be
Of some vnholesome head, thus then you see,
Why women vse this odoriferous dust;
Let Critticks then be dumbe, their cause is iust.

Epig. XIX. In Procos.

VVho woes a wife, thinks wedded men do know
The only true content, I thinke not so,
If woe in woers be that women court,
As the word woe, in woers doth import
And woe in women too, that courted bee,
As the word woe, in women we doe see,
I thinke 'tis better lead a single life;
Then with this double woe, to woe a wife.

Epig. XX.

A poore neglected Scholler, whose chiefe good
Was all he bore about him, vnderstood
A friend of his, to be in such a place,
To whom he went, who gaue him kind imbrace.
And spake his worth, intreating all his friends
To doe the like, to which all condiscends,
Except one cald All out sides, who wil passe
The streets with none, but some silke-grogren Asse,
And he in anger, after many oathes,
(For he could sweare) bad him get better cloathes
Then come to them againe, adding this scoffe,
The schollers stuffe is like, stand farther off,
Thus ignorant All out sides thinkes of arts,
The Taylor now giues man his better parts.

Epig. XXI. In Lenam.

Lena being yong could neuer haue her fill
Of loues sweet sower: now old, she loues is still;
And therefore yong, of yong men she tooke gold,
That she might giue to yong men, being old.

Epig. XXII. In Fuscum.

Fvscus is turn'd a Player; for in rage,
He lately left his function for the stage,
In hope to out-act Roscius in a Sceane,
In care of which, the fellowe's growne so leane,
That all men pitie him; but Fuscus know,
Players doe now as plentifully grow,
As spawne of Frogs in March; yet euermore
The great deuoure the lesse; be wise therefore,
Procure thou some commendatorie letter
For the Barthmothos, 'tis a course farre better.

Epig. XXIII.

Women thinke women, far more constant bee,
Then we men, and the letter O we see
In women, not in we men, as they say,
Figures earthes constant orbe, we men say, nay,
It meanes the Moon, which proues, none think it strange
Women are constant and most true in ---.

Epig. XXIIII.

Twise twentie dayes of lamentable lent,
Why goes All Colours like a mal-content.

Clad all in black, some thinke thereby to show,
His sorrow for his sins, tush, 'tis not so,
Flesh then forbidden, his all sable back,
Mournes for his belly fortie dayes in black.

Epig. XXV. In Malbellam.

Mistris Malbella beares away the bell,
And doth more holland, Lawne and cambrick sell,
Then all her neighbours, not because her stall
Shewes better ware, or boyes doe lowder call,
What lack yee Gentlemen? but for her faire
Is farre prefer'd before their better ware;
For no spur-gingle gentle Paphian Knight,
Walkes by her sent-sweet shop for his delight,
Will passe, if shee be obiect of his eye,
She absent, boyes may say, what will you buy?
What lack you? but in vaine, monie appeares not,
Gallants are deafe, custome goes by and heares not.
No ware's there vendible, or worth a rush,
Except Malbella be the Iuie bush.

Epig. XXVI. In Drusum & Furionem.

Fvrio would fight with Drusus in the field,
Because the straw stout Drusus will not yeeld,

On which their Mistris trod, they both did meet,
Drusus in fight fell dead at Furioes feet;
One had the straw, but with it this Greeke letter, Π
The other lost it, pray, who had the better?

Epig. XXVII. In Battum.

Battus chiefe Mimmicke of the times quaint Apes,
Who shifts not shirts, more oft, then he doth shapes,
Frequents great states and vainly doth surmise,
That mongst faire Ladies, hee's reputed wise,
But as the caske, hath euer noted bin
To sound most, hauing only ayre within,
So thou art knowne, although thou seemest gay,
Deckt with an others plumes; but painted iay.
If they were pluckt away, thou would'st haue none,
And my sic vos non vobis would be knowne.

Epig. XXVIII. In Priscum.

Mongst the Monopolists on Londons Bursse,
Priscus was ta'ne for cutting of a pursse,
And being reuild', made this bold question, why,
Are these Monopolists excus'd, since I
Did cut but one mans purse, why they cut all?
But thus we see, the weakest goes to 'th wall?

Epig. XXIX. In Curuum detractatorem.

Cvruus thou saist, that I doe cur-like looke,
That fawnes on men, when I doe giue a booke,
But Curuus asse-like thou, hast not the wit
To vnderstand, much lesse to censure it,
Else thou woul'st know, each booke I giue's a bone
For such curst curres, as thee to gnaw vpon,

Epig. XXX. To the same right worshipfull Sir Timothie Thornhill.

My Muse cast off, at good hap first did flie,
On wings of Hope, good hap did soare to high;
But when my Muse too feeble was of wing
I thought to whistle her off; but late did spring
A meaner chance, at that I made my game;
But whether at the source she tooke the same,
Or in the ramage no performance made,
I know not well, good hope still giues her aide,
Yet stil I doubt, but, gentle Sir, reade on,
This cannot be discust, while you haue done.