16. THE ORDER OF FOOLS.
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[MS. Bodl. Laud Misc. 683, leaves 56 to 60.]
Here begynneth a tale of thre skore ffoolys and thre wich ar lyk neuer ffor to the.
1
The ordre of foolis, ful yore agoon be-gonne,
Neuly professed encreseth the kovent.
Bachus and Iuno haue set a-broche a tonne
And brouht þe braynes on-to the exegent.
Markolff, ther foundour, patroun, & president,
Noumbre of this frary told iij skore and thre;
Echon registred, be greet avysement;
Endosed ther patent, that they shal neuer the.
2
Cheef of alle folys, men in bokys redeth,
Able in his foly to holde resydence,
Is he that nouther loveth God nor dredith,
Nor to his chirche hath noon advertence,
Nor to his seyntys doth no reuerence,
And hath dysdeyn of ffolk in poverte,
To ffader, moder doth no benyvolence—
A-seele his patent, for he shal neuer the.
3
The sixte ffooll this frary to be-gynne,
More than a fooll, braynles, maad, and wood,
Is he that neuer wyll forsake his synne;
Nor he that can nouht, nor lerne wil no good;
And he that hath two facys in on hood,
May ben enrollid in this ffraternyte;
Cherl of condicioun and born of gentyll blood
May cleyme of riht that he shal neuer the.
4
The tenthe fooll may hoppe vpon the ryng,
Foote al afforn, and lede of riht the daunce,
He that al yeveth, and kepeth hym-self nothyng.
A double herte, fair ffeyned contenaunce;
A pretens face, treble in his dalyaunce;
Tonge spreynt with sugre, þe galle kept secre,
A perlous mouth is wers than spere or launce,
Thogh they be cherisshed, God let hem neuer the.
5
Off this fraternyte there is mo than oon
Prouerbe seyd in old language:
Tendre broweys skalt with a mary-boon,
For feble stomakys is holsom in potage;
The mary is good, the boon doth but damage.
In symulacyoun ys ffals duplycyte,
Who leveth the mary braideth on dotage,
And cheseth the boon, God let hym neuer the.
6
A fface vnstable, gasyng Est and South,
With loude lauhtres entrith his language,
Gapeth as a rook, abrood goth iowe and mouth,
Lyk a iay enfomyned in hys cage,
Malapert of cheer and off vysage,
Cometh to counsail or he callyd be,
Of ech thyng medlith, his thrifft lith in morgage,
Devaunt a knave that schall neuer the.
7
In the book of prudent Cypryan
Wich callid is ‘a gardeyn of his fflours,’
He seith a pulteer that selleth a fat swan
For a goselyng that greseth on bareyn clours;
And he that casteth his cloke a wey in shours,
Out of the tempest whan he may ffle;
Or whan that Sperado loveth paramours—
On of the nombre that schall neuer the.
8
And he also that halt hym-selff wys,
Wich in werkyng hath noon experience,
Whos chaunce goth nouther on synk nor sis,
With ambes—as encreseth his dyspence;
A foltyssh face, rude of elloquence,
Bosteth with bordas, and at a bront wil ffle;
Tween wolle & gossomer is a gret difference,
Stuff for a chapman that is nat lyk to the.
9
I redde also of other ffoolys twoo:
Thyng to chalenge to wich he hath no right,
And he in trouthe is a more ffooll also,
Wich al requereth that cometh in his sight.
And he is a ffooll wich on-to euery wight
Telleth his counsaill and his preuytee.
Who sekith werre and hath hym-selff no myht,
It were gret mervail that euer he sholde the.
10
Another fool with counterfeet vysage
Is he that can falsly ffage and ffeyne,
Where that he be old or yong of age,
Seith he is syk, and felt no maner peyne;
And he that doth his owne wyf dysdeyne,
And halt a-nother, of what estat she bee—
With other foolys enbrace hym in þe cheyne,
A warantyse that he schall neuer the.
11
Off this ffrary mo ffoolys to expresse:
He that is to euery man contrarye,
And he that bosteth of his cursidnesse,
And he also that doth prolonge and tarye,
With fair hestis, from his promys to varye—
Breeffly to telle, I can noon other see—;
He lyk a ffugytyff, that ffleeth to seyntwarie
For dred of hangyng, for he schal neuer the.
12
He is a ffooll eek, as Senek seyth,
That longe delaieth his purpos for to speede;
A gretter ffooll he that breketh his ffeith;
And he is a ffooll that doth no shame drede;
And he that hoteth, & faileth his frend at nede,
Whos promys braideth on duplycyte;
An hardy mous, that is bold to brede
In cattys eris, that brood shal neuer the.
13
And he is a ffooll that also yeveth credence
To newe rumours and euery foltyssh ffable;
A dronklew fool that spareth for no dispence,
To drynke a taunt, tyl he slombre at þe table;
Among alle foolys that fool is most coupable
That is a-cursed, and hath ther-of deynte;
A pore beggere for to be vengable,
Purs Penylees in plees may neuer the.
14
And he that holdeth a quarel ageyn right,
Halt his purpos stiborne ageyn resoun;
And he is a fooll, that is ay glad to ffyght,
And to debate seketh occasioun,
Abit so longe tyl he be bete doun,
Dronke, lame, that he may nat ffle;
And who reioissheth to soioure in prisoun,
Enrolle hym vp, for he schall neuer the.
15
A lusty galaunt that weddit an old wicche,
For gret tresour, because his purs is bare;
An hungry huntere þat handeth hym a bicche,
Nemel of mouth, for to mordre an hare;
Nyht riotours that wil no wareyn spare,
With-oute licence or ony lyberte,
Tyl sodeyn perel brynge hem in þe snare,
A ppreperatyf that they shal neuer the.
16
Who doth amys & lauheth hym-self to scorne;
Or come to counsail or that he be callyd;
Or loude lawheth whan he sholde morne,
Among alle folis of riht he may be stallyd;
Purposeth his viage whan his hors is gallid;
Plukketh of his schoon toward his iourne;
Forsaketh fressh wyn, & drynkith ale appalid—
Swich foltyssh tast, God let hem neuer the.
17
And he þat is a ryotour all his lyff,
And hath his felawe & neihebour in despiht,
And woundeth hym-self with his owne knyf,
Of o candel he weneth two were lyght,
Slepeth a day, and waccheth al the nyght,
Alle massis doon longe or he redy bee,
Suych on may cleyme be very title of riht,
To been a brother of them shal neuer the.
18
Who halt al his þe tresour þat he wissheth,
And gadreth gossomer to pakke it for wolle;
And he is a fool affore þe net that ffissheth;
And he is a ffool þat doth þe ffetherys pulle
Of ffatte capouns, vp mewed to the ffulle,
And hath no thyng but bonys for his ffee—
Nullatensis aselyd hath a bulle
To alle suych, that noon of hem schall the.
19
Whan þe gandre greseth on the grene,
The sleyhty ffox doth hir brood be-holde.
He taketh þe ffatte, casteth awey the lene;
And Isigrinus, cheef wardeyn of the ffolde,
Takith to his larder at what pris they be sold,
Grettest lambre, oon, or two, or thre;
In wynter nyhtes þe frostis been so colde,
The shepperde slepeth—God let hym neuer the.
20
A foreyn lyknesse wich shal no mon displese,
By a straunge vnkouth comparysoun:
Whan þe belle-weder pastureth at his ese,
Though al þe flok haue but smal ffoysoun,
Slepeth at leiser, maketh noyse non, nor soun,
Careth for no more so he haue plente—
Alle tho that make suych a departysioun,
Among her sogettys, God let hem neuer the.
21
With ful wombe they preche of abstynence,
Ther botel fild with fressh wyn or good ale,
Love weell rownyng, loutyng, and reuerence,
Newe fals report with many glosyng tale,
The iay more cherisshed than the nyhtyngale;
Tabourerys with ther duplycyte,
Plese more this daies whan stuffed is ther male,
Farsed with fflateryng—God let hem neuer the.
22
To gete this ffrary a confirmacyoun
Of somme vnthryffty bysshop Nullatense,
And graunteth hem a generall pardoun,
With a patent to begge ther dyspence,
Erly and late to walke with lycence,
With open walet ffreely in ech contre,
Ther bulle asselyd, concludyng in sentence:
Noon of this ordre is neuer lyk to the!
Explicit.
