REMARKS UPON DR. AKENSIDE'S AND MR. WHITEHEAD'S VERSES,
WHICH WERE PUBLISHED
AND ADDRESSED TO THE PEOPLE OF
ENGLAND, IN THE YEAR 1758.
I
“
Whither
is
Europe's
ancient Spirit fled?”
How came this Query in the Doctor's Head?
“Whither is
Britain's?”—one had sooner guess'd,
In Ode to his own Countrymen address'd;
But, as outlandish Rivers soon infer it,
(Six, in three Lines) it must be Europe's Spirit.
II
Of “valiant Tenants of her Shore,” 'tis said,
“Who from the warrior Bow the strong Dart sped;”—
Let Bow be “Warrior,” and let Dart be “strong,”
Verse does not “speed” so speedily along;
“The strong Dart sped”—does but go thump, thump, thump,
That quick as thrown should pierce the Liver plump.
III
“And with firm Hand the rapid Poleaxe bore.”—
If it had been “the rapid Dart” before,
And “the strong Poleaxe, here, it had agreed
With a firm Hold as well, and darting speed.
Whither are fled from Ode-Versification
The ancient “Pleasures of Imagination?”
IV
Really these fighting Poets want a Tutor
To teach them “Ultra crepidam ne Sutor;”
To teach the Doctor, and to teach the Laureate,
“Ex Helicone
sanguinem ne hauriat;”
Tho' Blood and Wounds infect its limpid Stream,
It should run clear before they sing a Theme.
V
Ye “Britons
rouse to Deeds of Death!”—says one;
“Whither,” the next, “is Europe's Spirit gone?”
While real Warriors think it all a Farce
For them to bounce of either Mors or Mars;
Safe as one sacks it under bloodless Bay,
And sure as t'other even Death must pay.
VI
But you shall hear what Captain ***** said,
When he had heard both Ode and Verses read:
On Mottos “Versibus exacuit”
And “Proles militum” he mus'd a bit;
Then, having cast his hunting Wits about,
In quest of Rimes, he thus, at last, broke out:
VII
“Poh! Let my Serjeant, when his Dose is taken,
“Britons strike Home!” with moisten'd Pipe rehearse:
To “Deeds of Death” 'twill sooner much awaken,
Than a Cart-Load full of such Ode and Verse.
“If these two Bards will by a tuneful Labour
Show, without sham, their Love to killing Life,
Let Akenside go thump upon the Tabor,
And Whitehead grasp th' exacuating Fife!”
