The poetical works of John Godfrey Saxe Household Edition : with illustrations |
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THE BRIEFLESS BARRISTER.
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 | The poetical works of John Godfrey Saxe |  |
THE BRIEFLESS BARRISTER.
A BALLAD.
An Attorney was taking a turn,
In shabby habiliments drest;
His coat it was shockingly worn,
And the rust had invested his vest.
In shabby habiliments drest;
His coat it was shockingly worn,
And the rust had invested his vest.
His breeches had suffered a breach,
His linen and worsted were worse;
He had scarce a whole crown in his hat,
And not half a crown in his purse.
His linen and worsted were worse;
He had scarce a whole crown in his hat,
And not half a crown in his purse.
And thus as he wandered along,
A cheerless and comfortless elf,
He sought for relief in a song,
Or complainingly talked to himself:—
A cheerless and comfortless elf,
He sought for relief in a song,
Or complainingly talked to himself:—
“Unfortunate man that I am!
I 've never a client but grief:
The case is, I 've no case at all,
And in brief, I 've ne'er had a brief!
I 've never a client but grief:
The case is, I 've no case at all,
And in brief, I 've ne'er had a brief!
“I've waited and waited in vain,
Expecting an ‘opening’ to find,
Where an honest young lawyer might gain
Some reward for toil of his mind.
Expecting an ‘opening’ to find,
Where an honest young lawyer might gain
Some reward for toil of his mind.
“'T is not that I'm wanting in law,
Or lack an intelligent face,
That others have cases to plead,
While I have to plead for a case.
Or lack an intelligent face,
That others have cases to plead,
While I have to plead for a case.
“O, how can a modest young man
E'er hope for the smallest progression,—
The profession's already so full
Of lawyers so full of profession!”
E'er hope for the smallest progression,—
The profession's already so full
Of lawyers so full of profession!”
While thus he was strolling around,
His eye accidentally fell
On a very deep hole in the ground,
And he sighed to himself, “It is well!”
His eye accidentally fell
On a very deep hole in the ground,
And he sighed to himself, “It is well!”
To curb his emotions, he sat
On the curbstone the space of a minute,
Then cried, “Here 's an opening at last!”
And in less than a jiffy was in it!
On the curbstone the space of a minute,
Then cried, “Here 's an opening at last!”
And in less than a jiffy was in it!
Next morning twelve citizens came
('T was the coroner bade them attend),
To the end that it might be determined
How the man had determined his end!
('T was the coroner bade them attend),
To the end that it might be determined
How the man had determined his end!
“The man was a lawyer, I hear,”
Quoth the foreman who sat on the corse.
“A lawyer? Alas!” said another,
“Undoubtedly died of remorse!”
Quoth the foreman who sat on the corse.
“A lawyer? Alas!” said another,
“Undoubtedly died of remorse!”
A third said, “He knew the deceased,
An attorney well versed in the laws,
And as to the cause of his death.
'T was no doubt for the want of a cause.”
An attorney well versed in the laws,
And as to the cause of his death.
'T was no doubt for the want of a cause.”
The jury decided at length,
After solemnly weighing the matter,
That the lawyer was drownded, because
He could not keep his head above water!
After solemnly weighing the matter,
That the lawyer was drownded, because
He could not keep his head above water!
| The poetical works of John Godfrey Saxe | |