 | Artemus Ward's panorama |  |
ARTEMUS WARD,
Dis Programme.
Dodworth Hall, 806, Broadway.
OPEN EVERY EVENING.
1. —Introductory.
2. —The Steamer Ariel, en route.
3. —San Francisco.
4. —The Washoe Silver Region.
5. —The Plains.
6. —The City of Saints.
7. —A Mormon Hotel.
8. —Brigham Young's Theatre.
9. —The Council-House.
10. —The Home of Brigham Young.
11. —Heber C. Kimball's Seraglio.
12. —The Mormon House of Worship.
13. —Foundations of the New Temple.
14. —Architect's View of the Temple when finished.
15. —The Great Dead Sea of the Desert.
16. —The House of Mystery.
17. —The Canon.
18. —Mid-Air Sepulture.
19. —A Nice Family Party at Brigham Young's.
Official Bureau.
| Secretary of the Exterior | Mr. E. P. Hingston. |
| Secretary of the Treasury | Herr Max Field, (Pupil of Signor Thomaso Jacksoni.) |
| Mechanical Director and Professor of Carpentry | Signor G. Wilsoni. |
| Crankist | Mons. Aleck. |
| Assistant Crankist | Boy (orphan). |
| Artists | Messrs. Hilliard & Maeder. |
| Reserved Chairists | Messrs. Persee & Jerome. |
| Moppist | Signorina O'Flaherty. |
| Broomist | Mlle. Topsia de St. Moke. |
| Hired Man | John. |
| Fighting Editor | Chevalier McArone. |
| Dutchman | By a Polish Refugee, named McFinnigin. |
| Doortendist | Mons. Jacques Ridera. |
| Gas Man | Artemus Ward. |
This Entertainment will open with music. The Soldiers' Chorus from
“Faust.” First time in this city.
Next comes a jocund and discursive preamble, calculated to show what
a good education the Lecturer has.
View the first is a sea-view.—Ariel navigation.—Normal school of
whales in the distance.—Isthmus of Panama.—Interesting interview with
Old Panama himself, who makes all the hats. Old Pan. is a likely sort of
man.
San Francisco.—City with a vigilant government.—Miners allowed to
vote. Old inhabitants so rich that they have legs with golden calves to
them.
Town in the Silver region.—Good quarters to be found there.—
Playful population, fond of high-low-jack and homicide.—Silver lying
around loose.—Thefts of it termed silver-guilt.
The plains in Winter.—A wild Moor, like Othello.—Mountains in the
distance forty thousand miles above the level of the highest sea (Musiani's
chest C included).—If you don't believe this you can go there and measur
them for yourself.
Mormodom, sometimes called the City of the Plain, but wrongly;
the women are quite pretty.—View of Old Poly Gamy's house, &c.
The Salt Lake Hotel.—Stage just come in from its overland route and
retreat from the Indians.—Temperance house.—No bar nearer than Salt
Lake sand-bars.—Miners in shirts like Artemus Ward his Programme—
they are read and will wash.
Mormon Theatre, where Artemus Ward lectured.—Mormons like
theatricals, and had rather go to the Play-house than to the Work-house,
any time.—Private boxes reserved for the ears of Brother Brigham's
wives.
Intermission of Fibe Minntes.
Territorial State-House.—Seat of the Legislature.—About as fair a
collection as that at Albany—and “we can't say no fairer than that.”
Residence of Brigham Young and his wives.—Two hundred souls with
but a single thought, Two hundred hearts that beat as one.
Seraglio of Heber C. Kimball.—Home of the Queens of Heber.—No
relatives of the Queen of Sheba.—They are a nice gang of darlings.
Mormon Tabernacle, where the men espouse Mormonism and the
women espouse Brother Brigham and his Elders as spiritual Physicians,
convicted of bad doct'rin.
Foundations of the Temple.—Beginning of a healthy little job.—
Temple to enclose all out-doors, and be paved with gold at a premium.
The Temple when finished.—Mormon idea of a meeting-house.—
N.B. It will be bigger, probably, than Dodworth Hall.—One of the
figures in the foreground is intended for Heber C. Kimball.—You can
see, by the expression of his back, that he is thinking what a great man
Joseph Smith was.
The Great Salt Lake.—Water actually thick with salt—too saline to
sail in.—Mariners rocked on the bosom of this deep with rock salt.—The
water isn't very good to drink.
House where Mormons are initiated.—Very secret and mysterious
ceremonies.—Anybody can easily find out all about them though, by going
out there and becoming a Mormon
Echo Canon.—A rough bluff sort of affair.—Great Echo.—When
Artemus Ward went through, he heard the echoes of some things the
Indians said there about four years and a half ago.
The Plains again, with some noble savages, both in the live and dead
state.—The dead one on the high shelf was killed in a Fratricidal
Struggle.—They are always having Fratricidal Struggles out in that line
of country.—It would be a good place for an enterprising Coroner to
locate.
Brigham Young surrounded by his wives—These ladies are simply
too numerous to mention.
Those of the Audience who do not feel offended with Artemus
Ward are cordially invited to call upon him, often, at his fine new house
in Brooklyn. His house is on the right hand side as you cross the Ferry,
and may be easily distinguished from the other houses by its having a
Cupola and a Mortgage on it.
Soldiers on the battle-field will be admitted to this Entertainment
gratis.
The Indians on the Overland Route live on Route and Herbs,
They are an intemperate people. They drink with impunity, or anybody
who invites them.
Artemus Ward delivered Lectures before
ALL THE CROWNED HEADS OF EUROPE
ever thought of delivering lectures.
TICKETS 50 CTS. RESERVED CHAIRS $1.
Doors open at 7.30 P.M.; Entertainment to commence at 8.
The Piano used is from the celebrated factory of Messrs.
Chickering & Sons, 653, Broadway.
The Cabinet Organ is from the famous factory of Messrs, Mason
& Hamlin, Boston, and is furnished by Mason Brothers, 7 Mercer
Street, New York.
| Artemus Ward's panorama | |