University of Virginia Library

THE WIDOW'S RETINUE.

Lear.

In giving an account of the arrival of Lady
Lillycraft at the Hall, I ought to have mentioned
the entertainment which I derived from witnessing
the unpacking of her carriage, and the
disposing of her retinue. There is something
extremely amusing to me in the number of faetitious
wants; the loads of imaginary conveniencies,
but real incumbrances, with which the
luxurious are apt to burthen themselves. I like
to watch the whimsical stir and display about
one of these petty progresses. The number of
robustious footmen and retainers of all kinds
bustling about, with looks of infinite gravity and
importance, to do almost nothing. The number

of heavy trunks and parcels, and band-boxes,
belonging to my lady; and the solicitude exhibited
about some odd looking box, by my lady's
maid. The cushions piled in the carriage to
make a soft seat still softer, and to prevent the
dreaded possibility of a jolt. The smelling bottles;
the cordials; the baskets of biscuit and
fruit; the new publications; all provided to guard
against hunger, fatigue, or ennui; the led horses
to vary the mode of travelling; and all this preparation
and parade to move, perhaps, some very
good for nothing personage, about a little space
of earth! It reminds me of the vast bustle and
pains-taking of the redoubtable Belzoni, and his
myrmidons of the Nile, to transport some Egyptian
mummy; or, perhaps, to trundle off some
mutilated statue at the rate of a few inches in an
hour.

I do not mean to apply the latter part of these
observations to Lady Lillycraft, for whose simple
kindheartedness I have a very great respect,
and who is really a most amiable and worthy
being. I cannot refrain, however, from mentioning

some of the motley retinue she has
brought with her; and which, indeed, bespeak
the overflowing kindness of her nature, which
requires her to be surrounded with objects on
which to lavish it.

In the first place, her ladyship has a pampered
coachman, with a red face and cheeks that hang
down like dew-laps. He evidently domineers
over her a little with respect to the fat horses;
and only drives out when he thinks proper, and
when he thinks it will be good for the cattle.

She has a favourite page to attend upon her
person—a handsome boy of about twelve years
of age, but a mischievous varlet; very much
spoiled, and in a fair way to be good for nothing.
He is dressed in green, with a profusion of gold
cord and gilt buttons about his clothes. She always
has one or two attendants of the kind, who
are replaced by others as soon as they grow to
fourteen years of age. She has brought two
dogs with her also, out of a number of pets
which she maintains at home. One is a fat spaniel,
called Zephyr, though heaven defend me

from such a zephyr. He is fed out of all shape
and comfort; his eyes are nearly strained out of
his head; he wheezes with corpulency, and cannot
walk without great difficulty. The other is
a little old gray muzzled curmudgeon, with an
unhappy eye that kindles like a coal if you only
look at him; his nose turns up, his mouth is
drawn into wrinkles, so as to show his teeth;
in short, he has altogether the look of a dog far
gone in misanthropy, and totally sick of the
world. When he walks, he has his tail curled
up so tight that it seems to lift his feet from the
ground; and he seldom makes use of more than
three legs at a time, keeping the other drawn up
as a reserve. This last wretch is called Beauty.

These dogs are full of elegant ailments unknown
to vulgar dogs; and are petted and nursed
by Lady Lillycraft with the tenderest kindness.
They are pampered and fed with delicacies
by their fellow minion, the page, but their
stomachs are often weak and out of order, so
that they cannot eat; though I have now and
then seen the page give them a mischievous pinch

or thwack on the head when his mistress was
not by. They have cushions for their express
use, on which they lie before the fire, and yet
are apt to shiver and moan, if there is the least
draught of air. When any one enters the room
they make a most tyrannical barking, that is
absolutely deafening. They are insolent to all
the other dogs of the establishment. There is
a noble stag hound, a great favourite of the
Squire's, who is a privileged visiter to the parlour,
but the moment he makes his appearance,
these intruders fly at him with furious rage, and
I have admired the indifference and contempt
with which he seems to look down upon his
puny assailants. When her ladyship drives out,
these dogs are generally carried with her to take
the air; when they look out of each window of
the carriage and bark at all vulgar pedestrian
dogs. These dogs are a continual source of
misery to the household; as they are always in
the way; they every now and then get their
toes trod on, and then there is a yelping on their
part, and a loud lamentation on the part of their
mistress, that fills the room with clamour and
confusion.

Lastly, there is her ladyship's waiting gentlewoman,
Mrs. Hannah, a prim pragmatical old
maid; one of the most intolerable and intolerant
virgins that ever lived. She has kept her virtue
by her, until it has turned sour, and now every
word and look smacks of verjuice. She is the
very opposite to her mistress, for one hates and
the other loves all mankind. How they first
came together I cannot imagine; but they have
lived together for many years; and the Abigail's
temper being tart and encroaching, and her ladyship's
easy and yielding, the former has got the
complete upper hand, and tyrannizes over the
good lady in secret. Lady Lillycraft now and
then complains of it, in great confidence, to her
friends; but hushes up the subject immediately,
if Mrs. Hannah makes her appearance. Indeed,
she has been so accustomed to be attended by her,
that she thinks she could not do without her;
though one great study of her life is to keep
Mrs. Hannah in good humour by little presents
and kindnesses.

Master Simon has a most devout abhorrence,
mingled with awe, for this ancient spinster. He
told me the other day, in a whisper, that she was
a cursed brimstone—in fact, he added another
epithet, which I would not repeat for the world.
I have remarked, however, that he is always
extremely civil to her when they meet.