LETTER X
To Jane Talbot.
New-York, October 13.
I have just heard something which has made
me very uneasy. I am afraid of seeming to
you impertinent. You have declared your resolution
to persist in conduct which my judgment
disapproved. I have argued with you and
admonished you, hitherto, in vain, and you have
(tacitly indeed) rejected my interference: yet I
cannot forbear offering you my counsel once
more.
To say truth, it is not so much with a view
to change your resolution, that I now write, as
to be informed what your resolution is. I
have heard what I cannot believe, yet, considering
your former conduct, I have misgivings
that I cannot subdue. Strangely as you have acted
of late I am willing to think you incapable
of what is laid to your charge. In few words,
Jane, they tell me that you mean to be actually
married to Colden.
You know what I think of that young man.
You know my objections to the conduct you
thought proper to pursue in relation to Colden,
in your husband's life time. You will judge
then with what emotions such intelligence was
received.
I discreet as you have been, there are I hope,
bounds which your education will not permit
you to pass. Some regard, I hope, you will
have for your own reputation. If your conscience
object not to this proceeding, the dread
of infamy, at least, will check your career.
You may think that I speak harshly, and that
I ought to wait, at least, till I knew your resolution,
before I spoke of it in such terms; but
if this report be groundless, my censures cannot
affect you. If it be true, they may serve, I hope,
to deter you from persisting in your scheme.
What more can I say? You are my nearest
relation; not my daughter, it is true, but, since
I have not any other kindred, you are more than
a daughter to me. That love which a numerous
family or kindred would divide among
themselves, is all collected and centered in you.
The ties between us have long ceased to be artificial
ones, and I feel, in all respects, as if you
actually owed your being to me.
You have hitherto consulted my pleasure but
little. I have all the rights, in regard to you,
of a mother, but these have been hitherto despised
or unacknowledged. I once regarded you
as the natural successor to my property, and
tho' your conduct has forfeited these claims, I
now tell you, and you know that my word is sacred,
that all I have shall be yours, on condition
that Colden is dismissed.
More than this I will do. Every assurance
possible I will give, that all shall be your's at
my death, and all I have, I will share with you,
equally, while I live. Only give me your word
that, as soon as the transfer is made, Colden
shall be thought of and conversed with, either
personally or by letter, no more. I want only
your promise; on that I will absolutely rely.
Mere lucre ought not perhaps, to influence
you, in such a case, and if you comply, through
regard to my peace, or your own reputation,
I shall certainly esteem you more highly than
if you are determined by the present offer, yet,
such is my aversion to this alliance, that the
hour in which I hear of your consent to the
conditions which I now propose to you, will be
esteemed one of the happiest of my life.
Think of it, my dear Jane, my friend, my
child, think of it. Take time to reflect, and
let me have a deliberate answer, such as will
remove the fears that at present afflict, beyond
my power of expression, your
