LETTER LV.
My mother allows me and even requires me
to write to you. My reluctance to do so is only
overcome by the fear of her displeasure—Yet
do not mistake me, my friend. Infer not from
this reluctance that the resolution of being
henceforward all that my mother wishes, can
be altered by any efforts of yours.
Alas! How vainly do I boast my inflexibility.
My safety lies only in filling my ears with my mother's
remonstrances and shutting them against
your persuasive accents. I have therefore resigned
myself wholly to my mothers government.
I have consented to be inaccessible to
your visits or letters.
I have few claims on your gratitude or generosity,
yet may I not rely on the humanity of
your temper? To what frequent and severe tests
has my caprice already subjected your affection,
and has it not remained unshaken and undiminished?
Let me hope that you will not withhold
this last proof of your affection for me.
It would greatly console me to know that you
are once more on filial and friendly terms with
your father. Let me persuade you to return
to him; to beseech his favour; I hope the way
to reconcilement has already been paved by the
letter jointly addressed to him by my mother
and myself; that nothing is wanting but submissive
and suitable deportment on your part to restore
you to the station you possessed before you
had any knowledge of me. Let me exact from
you this proof of your regard for me. It is the
highest proof which it will henceforth be in your
power to offer, or that can ever be received by
