University of Virginia Library

LETTER XIII.

Nothing could exceed the
rage into which Mrs. Bull was thrown by
this disappointment. “O these cursed,
stubborn, ungrateful, disobedient wretches,
to refuse all my invitations, and spurn
at my offers of friendship and reconciliation!

What, not admit my deputies into
their houses! Did ever any woman suffer
such disgrace? Well, faith I will be
revenged, and they shall feel the power of
my vengeance. I will prosecute them to
the utmost extremity of the law; ay, and
beyond law too, for I will set their houses
on fire over their heads, and drive them
off the land! And as to that deceitful dog
of a Lewis, I will raise such a hornet's
nest about his ears, that he shall repent
his bargain! If Lord Strut attempts to
help him, I'll lay an attachment upon his
richest farms. And as for Nic Frog, if
he lends them money, I will break up his
warehouse, and sell all his goods by auction.
I will satiate my vengeance on the
whole pack of them, and if I fall myself
among the general wreck, I shall have the
glory of dying like Samfon in the ruin of
my enemies.”

The rage which Mrs. Bull indulged
on this occasion, and the noise which she

made in her raving fits, raised a great alarm
in the family, and as hysterics are
said to be catching, so the distemper
spread into the two next families, viz. into
those of sister Peg and brother Patrick.
The former imagined that it was Mr.
Bull's intention to call in Lord Peter to
his aid, because he had been of late somewhat
complaisant to those of his natural
children, which resided in the family;
and the latter expected that he should be
treated in the same manner as the foresters,
because he had complained of some
restraints and impositions from his brother
John Bull, in respect to his trade and business,
which was that of a linen draper.
Old jealousies and grudges were revived
on this occasion, and the whole neighbourhood
was in confusion. The dogs in
Peg's family kept a constant howling and
barking, and were answered by those of Mr.
Bull. Several of them actually ran mad,[1]
and Bull was obliged to place guards at
his doors and gates, who attacked the curs
with clubs and killed several on the spot.
In the midst of this hurly burly, his house
was set on fire, and was actually seen
blazing in thirty six places at once;[2] the
fire even penetrated madam's drawing
room, and her card party were obliged to
hand buckets and pump the engine; and
it was not without the greatest exertions
that the whole mansion was saved from
utter destruction.

A DIFFLCULTY also arose from another
quarter, where it was little expected.
The measure which Mr. Bull had adopted
of stopping the high way provoked all
the neighbours, who thought it a great
infringement of their common rights;
but as he was a person of so much wealth
and power, they were afraid openly to
contest that point with him. At length
an elderly widow lady, of large property,
with whom he had always lived on friend

ly terms, and who generally went by the
name of Madam Kate, took the liberty to
tell him, that she could no longer suffer
her neighbours and herself to be so imposed
upon; that the high way was common
to all; that he had no right to stop
passengers and examine them, but that
every body ought to go about their lawful
business without let or hindrance, and
that she was determined to form a combination[3]
with Mr. Frog, Mr. Lewis,
Lord Strut, and all the other neighbours,
to remove the incumbrances which Mr.
Bull had thrown in the way, and clear the
passage.

This combination extended to other
objects, besides clearing the high way.
They were all disposed to help the foresters
against Mr. Bull, though in different
ways. Lewis had already lent them
money and feed lawyers to plead for them.

Lord Strut, though rich in landed interest,
yet generally anticipated his revenues,
(or as the vulgar phrase is, ate the calf in
the cow's belly) he therefore had no
money to spare; but to oblige his friend
Lewis, he laid an attachment on a southerly
corner of the forest, which formerly
belonged to him, and which from the numerous
flowers with which it abounds,
had got the name of Terra Florida. At
the same time he attached one of Mr.
Bull's favourite hunting seats,[4] which
commanded an extensive prospect, and
was situate extremely convenient for
hunting, fowling, and fishing. It had
formerly belonged to Strut, but he had
foolishly lost it by staking it in a game of
whist, which he played with Mr. Bull. It
was a doubt in law whether real estate
could be held by such tenure, but Bull
had possession, and that you know is eleven
points of the law. At any rate, it
would oblige Bull to defend; and that
would cost him money, and divert some
at least of his lawyers from the business of
the forest.

A SECRET correspondence had for
some time been carried on between the
foresters and Mr. Frog, for a loan of cash
and a mercantile contract. Bull had suspected
it, but could not prove it, till one
night, his myrmidons caught a messenger
from the forest and searched his pockets,[5]
in which were found certain letters and
other papers, which were supposed to amount
to full evidence.

Upon this occasion an advertisement
was published, according to fashion, justifying
the measures about to be taken, and
deploring the evils which were connected
with them. However small a share of
credit these publications obtain, it is generally
as much as they deserve.

To make short work with Frog, Mr.
Bull got a search warrant, and sent a bailiff
to his richest warehouse,[6] who entered
it, per fas aut nefas, tumbled over the
merchandise under pretence of searching
for stolen goods; and having taken away
as many as he pleased, by a writ of venditioni
exponas, he put them up at auction,
and it is said made a fortune by this
job. Mr. Lewis was so exasperated at
the outrage thus committed on his friend
Frog, that by a writ of scire facias he
laid claim to the ware house and its
contents, and brought in Bull for damages.

In short, Mr. Bull now found himself
soused over head and ears in that “deep
ditch,” the law. Like Ishmael of old,
his hand was against every man, and every
man's hand against him. Look which
way soever he would, he found enemies,
and his own family were continually buzzing

in his ears that he would bring his
affairs to ruin.

By the assistance derived from the loans
which they had negotiated with Lewis
and Frog, and the additional counsellors
and attornies which Lewis employed for
them, the foresters pursued the controversy
with as much vigor as the forms,
delays, and uncertainty of the law would
permit. No less than four years longer
were consumed in this expensive quarrel,
and Mr. Bull's numerous retinue of lawyers
were employing themselves in the
various chicanery and tergiversations of
their profession, all the while fattening on
the profits of the suit; whilst his debt
was growing at such a rate that he was at
his wit's end to keep the interest from accumulating
as well as the principal. At
length, by a capital manoelig;uvre of Pipeweed's
grandson George, aided by the
counsellors of Lewis, the cause was
brought to a hearing at York court, and

the arguments were of such efficacy that a
second verdict was given in favour of the
foresters, with large damages. This verdict
came so near to a final decision, that
all Mr. Bull's friends were convinced he
could no longer maintain an action against
the foresters; and some trusty old servants
ventured to whisper in madam's ear
that it was high time to end the controversy,
for that it could not possibly be
carried any farther without bringing the
family and the trade to total ruin.

“Look ye, madam, said they, how all
the schemes which you have laid have
been uniformly defeated; you have professed
to know the family secrets of these
foresters; but those fellows who pretended
to give you this information have deceived
you. In fact they have no such
secrets as your ladyship imagines. What
has been openly told you all along is the
truth, and you ought long ago to have believed
it. Now the conviction has forced

itself upon you, and you can no longer
withstand it. The foresters have been
defending their title in the law, and they
have made it appear so plainly, that no
jury in the world will ever give a verdict
against them. All who are acquainted
with new lands know that the labour attending
the improvement of them is worth
ten times more than the land; and in fact
gives the best title to it. If our master
will now end the matter by a compromise,
he may yet save some part of the manor
at the northward, where is the best of
hunting and fishing; but if he pursues the
matter any farther he will lose it all.”

These faithful remonstrances, enforced
by the necessity of the case, began to have
some effect on the turbulent mind of
madam. She saw that it was in vain to
contend against the opinions of all mankind,
and therefore in her next curtain
lecture she held a short dialogue with Mr.
Bull, thus—

Mrs. B. My dear, I have been thinking
whether it would not be best for you
to come to a settlement of this long controversy.

Mr. B. (groaning inwardly) So then
you have changed your mind, have
you?

Mrs. B. Yes, my dear, I find I have
been deceived with false information, or I
would never have advised you to prosecute
the matter so far.

Mr. B. Well, but how like a fool
shall I appear to the world, if, after I have
threatened and hectored these fellows,
and spent so much money to recover my
right, I should give it up at this time of
day?

Mrs. B. Why you know, my dear,
that you have formerly made concessions
to them, because I judged it expedient.

Mr. B. Ay, then I retained my claim
of right; but that will not do now

Mrs. B. True, my dear, you must
give up your right and title to about two
thirds of the forest; but you may still
hold the other third, and I dare say nobody
will contest your right to that. And
as for that part which you give up, you
may say by it as old Lewis did of that
which you once took from him. “Hang
it, it is not worth the keeping; it has always
been a bill of cost to me,” and the
like.

Mr. B. I wish, my dear, you had
given me this advice some years sooner, I
should have saved my money and my
credit too.

Mrs. B. Why, my dear, I tell you I
was deceived; I am as sorry as you are
for the loss of the money and of the forest,
but as the case is now circumstanced, I
think a compromise would be best.

Mr. B. Well, I will consider of it.

When Mr. Bull had taken the matter
into consideration, he thought it best to
wait the issue of the suit with Lord Strut
about the hunting seat, for he was loth to
lose that; and happily for him, when that
cause came to tryal, it was argued so forcibly
by his lawyers, that Strut was obliged
to give it up. As soon as Bull heard of
that, he cried out, “Now is the moment
of victory—now is the time for peace.”
So calling one of his clerks, “Here, says
he, go and settle the matter with the foresters,
or their deputies, on the best terms
that you can.” The deputies and the
clerk soon came to an agreement, and a
quitclaim deed was drawn, describing the
butts and bounds of the forest, and distinguishing
what he gave up to them from
what he retained. This quitclaim being
properly engrossed, he with a trembling
hand and aching heart subscribed it,
while madam, standing behind him,

could not help shedding a tear at the
sight of a transaction to which she would
never have consented but from dire necessity.