 | Letters of Mrs. Adams, |  |
TO JOHN ADAMS.
I have omitted writing by the last opportunity to
Holland, because I had but small faith in the designs
of the owners or passengers; and I had just written
you so largely, by a vessel bound to France, that I
had nothing new to say. There are few occurrences
in this northern climate, at this season of the year,
to divert or entertain you; and, in the domestic way,
should I draw you the picture of my heart, it would
be what I hope you still would love, though it contained
nothing new. The early possession you obtained
there, and the absolute power you have ever
maintained over it, leave not the smallest space unoccupied.
I look back to the early days of our acquaintance
and friendship, as to the days of love and
innocence, and, with an indescribable pleasure, I
have seen near a score of years roll over our heads,
with an affection heightened and improved by time;
nor have the dreary years of absence in the smallest
degree effaced from my mind the image of the dear,
untitled man to whom I gave my heart. I cannot
he is invested, as badges of my unhappiness. The
unbounded confidence I have in your attachment to
me and the dear pledges of our affection, has soothed
the solitary hour, and rendered your absence more
supportable; for, had I loved you with the same affection,
it must have been misery to have doubted.
Yet a cruel world too often injures my feelings, by
wondering how a person, possessed of domestic attachments,
can sacrifice them by absenting himself
for years.
"If you had known," said a person to me the
other day, "that Mr. Adams would have remained
so long abroad, would you have consented that he
should have gone? "I recollected myself a moment,
and then spoke the real dictates of my heart. "If I
had known, Sir, that Mr. Adams could have effected
what he has done, I would not only have submitted
to the absence I have endured, painful as it has been,
but I would not have opposed it, even though three
years more should be added to the number, (which
Heaven avert!) I feel a pleasure in being able to
sacrifice my selfish passions to the general good,
and in imitating the example, which has taught me
to consider myself and family but as the small dust
of the balance, when compared with the great community."
It is now, my dear friend, a long, long time, since
I had a line from you. The fate of Gibraltar leads
me to fear, that a peace is far distant, and that I shall
not see you,—God only knows when. I shall say
less, but, before this can reach you, 't is probable I
may receive your opinion; if in favor of my coming
to you, I shall have no occasion to urge it further;
if against it, I would not embarrass you by again requesting
it. I will endeavour to sit down and consider
it as the portion allotted me. My dear sons are well.
Our friends all desire to be remembered. The fleet
of our allies expects to sail daily, but where destined
we know not. A great harmony has subsisted between
them and the Americans ever since their residence
here.
Adieu, my dear friend. Why is it, that I hear so
seldom from my dear John? But one letter have I
ever received from him since he arrived in Petersburgh.
I wrote him by the last opportunity. Ever
remember me, as I do you, with all the tenderness,
which it is possible for one object to feel for another,
which no time can obliterate, no distance alter, but
which is always the same in the bosom of
| Letters of Mrs. Adams, | |