University of Virginia Library


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TO JOHN ADAMS.

MY DEAREST FRIEND,

I hear the Alliance is again going to France, with
the Marquis de la Fayette and the Count de Noailles.
I will not envy the Marquis the pleasure of annually
visiting his family, considering the risk he runs in
doing it; besides, he deserves the good wishes of
every American, and a large portion of the honors
and applause of his own country. He returns with the
additional merit of laurels won at Yorktown by the
capture of a whole British army. America may
boast, that she has accomplished what no power before
her ever did, contending with Britain,—captured
two of their celebrated generals, and each with
an army of thousands of veteran troops to support
them. This event, whilst it must fill Britain with
despondency, will draw the Union already framed
still closer and give us additional allies; and, if properly
improved, will render a negotiation easier and
more advantageous to America.

But I cannot reflect much upon public affairs,
until I have unburdened the load of my own heart.
Where shall I begin my list of grievances? Not by
accusations, but lamentations. My first is, that I do
not hear from you; a few lines only, dated in April
and May, have come to hand for fifteen months.


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You do not mention receiving any from me except
by Captain Casneau, though I wrote by Colonel
Laurens, by Captain Brown, by Mr. Storer, Dexter,
and many others; to Bilboa by Trask, and several
times by way of France. You will refer me to Gillon,
I suppose. Gillon has acted a base part, of
which, no doubt, you are long ere now apprized.
You had great reason to suppose, that he would
reach America as soon or sooner than the merchant
vessels, and placed much confidence in him by the
treasure you permitted to go on board of him. Ah!
how great has my anxiety been. What have I not
suffered since I heard my dear Charles was on board,
and no intelligence to be procured of the vessel for
four months after he sailed. Most people concluded,
that she was foundered at sea, as she sailed before a
violent storm. Only three weeks ago did I hear the
contrary. My uncle despatched a messenger, the
moment a vessel from Bilboa arrived with the happy
tidings, that she was safe at Corunna; that the passengers
had all left the ship in consequence of GilIon's
conduct, and were arrived at Bilboa. The vessel
sailed the day that the passengers arrived at
Bilboa, so that no letters came by Captain Lovett;
but a Dr. Sands reports, that he saw a child, who
they told him was yours, and that he was well. This
was a cordial to my dejected spirits. I know not
what to wish for. Should he attempt to come at
this season upon the coast, it has more horrors than
I have fortitude. I am still distressed; I must resign
him to the kind, protecting hand of that Being, who

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hath hitherto preserved him, and submit to whatever
dispensation is allotted me.

What is the matter with Mr. Thaxter? Has he
forgotten all his American friends, that, out of four
vessels which have arrived, not a line is to be found
on board of one of them from him? I could quarrel
with the climate, but surely, if it is subject to the
ague, there is a fever fit as well as a cold one. Mr.
Guild tells me, he was charged with letters, but left
them, with his other things, on board the frigate.
She gave him the slip and he stepped on board of
Captain Brown's ship, and happily arrived safe.
From him I have learned many things respecting my
dear connexions; but still I long for that free communication,
which I see but little prospect of obtaining.
Let me again entreat you to write by way of
Guardoqui. Bilboa is as safe a conveyance as I
know of. Ah, my dear John! where are you? In
so remote a part of the globe, that I fear I shall not
hear a syllable from you. Pray write me all the intelligence
you get from him; send me his letters to
you. Do you know I have not had a line from him
for a year and a half? Alas! my dear, I am much
afflicted with a disorder called the heartache, nor
can any remedy be found in America. It must be
collected from Holland, Petersburg, and Bilboa.

And now, having recited my griefs and complaints,
the next in place are those of my neighbours.
I have been applied to by the parents of
several Braintree youth to write to you in their behalf,
requesting your aid and assistance, if it is in


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your power to afford it. Captain Cathcart, in the
privateer Essex, from Salem, went out on a cruise
last April in the Channel of England, and was, on
the 10th of June, so unfortunate as to be taken and
carried into Ireland. The officers were confined
there, but the sailors were sent prisoners to Plymouth
jail, twelve of whom are from this town, a list
of whom I enclose. The friends of these people
have received intelligence by way of an officer, who
belonged to the Protector, and who escaped from the
jail, that in August last they were all alive, several
of them very destitute of clothing, having taken but
a few with them and those for the summer, particularly
Ned Savil and Job Field. Their request is,
that, if you can, you would render them some assistance;
if not by procuring an exchange, that you
would get them supplied with necessary clothing. I
have told them, that you would do all in your power
for them, but what that would be, I could not say.
Their friends here are all well, many of them greatly
distressed for their children, and in a particular manner
the mother of Josiah Bass. I wish you to be
very particular in letting me know, by various opportunities
and ways after the receipt of this, whether
you have been able to do any thing for them, that
I may relieve the minds of these distressed parents.
The Captain got home about three months ago by
escaping to France, but could give no account of his
men after they were taken.

Two years, my dearest friend, have passed away
since you left your native land. Will you not return


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ere the close of another year? I will purchase
you a retreat in the woods of Vermont, and retire
with you from the vexations, toils, and hazards of
public life. Do you not sometimes sigh for such a
seclusion? Public peace and domestic happiness;

"an elegant sufficiency, content,
Retirement, rural quiet; friendship, books,
Ease and alternate labor; useful life,
Progressive virtue, and approving Heaven."

May the time, the happy time soon arrive, when
we may realize these blessings, so elegantly described
by Thomson; for, though many of your countrymen
talk in a different style with regard to their intentions,
and express their wishes to see you in a conspicuous
point of view in your own State, I feel no ambition
for a share of it. I know the voice of fame to be a
mere weather-cock, unstable as water and fleeting as
a shadow. Yet I have pride; I know I have a large
portion of it.

I very fortunately received, by the Apollo, by the
Juno, and by the Minerva, the things you sent me,
all in good order. They will enable me to do, I
hope, without drawing upon you, provided I can part
with them; but money is so scarce, and taxes so
high, that few purchasers are found. Goods will not
double, yet they are better than drawing bills, as
these cannot be sold but with a large discount. I
could not get more than ninety for a hundred dollars,
should I attempt it.

I shall enclose an invoice to the house of Ingraham


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and Bromfield, and one to De Neufville. There
is nothing from Bilboa that can be imported to advantage.
Handkerchiefs are sold here at seven dollars
and a half per dozen. There are some articles
which would be advantageous from Holland, but
goods there run high, and the retailing vendues,
which are tolerated here, ruin the shopkeepers.
The articles put up by the American house were
better in quality for the price than those by the
house of De Neufville. Small articles have the best
profit; gauze, ribbons, feathers, and flowers, to make
the ladies gay, have the best advance. There are
some articles, which come from India, I should suppose
would be lower-priced than many others,—Bengals,
nankeens, Persian silk, and bandanna handkerchiefs;
but the house of Bromfield know best what
articles will suit here.

Believe me, with more affection than words can
express, ever, ever, yours.
Portia.