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Brodsky 13c Recto
This version consists ostensibly of two stanzas. In fact, stanza one is a preliminary working through of what will become stanza 8 in the first "complete" pencil draft. It picks up the second to last line in VIRGINIA "single torn leaf" VERSO, ('I move suddenly, the birds') and modifies it so that the bird image metamorphoses into the 'sun'. Faulkner spends the rest of this first stanza developing the new image, and ends with another specific reference to one of his personae ('poet'), which he will abandon in the finished poem.
Stanza two on this page, consisting of 15 lines, with one major change (Faulkner transposes and condenses lines 4, 5, and 6 into two lines), and a few minor word substitutions and additions, becomes stanzas 8 and 9 in the first "complete" pencil draft.
I shiver suddenly, the sun has gone
And the air is cooler where we three
Sit I can scarcely see
['Them' del.] And the after glow of the west has followed the sun
The light has gone from the worlds rim
And the pale lilacs stir against a lilac pale sky
The poet bends his head
I shiver suddenly, the sun has gone
And the air is cooler where we three
Are sitting. The light has gone from the worlds rim
Following the sun
And I can scarcely see
The stirring of the pale lilacs against the lilac pale sky
They bend their heads toward me as one head
—Old man—they say—when did you die?
I—I am not dead
['They eye each other as people who have committed a gaucherie' del.]
['In consternation tinged with pity' del.]
I hear their whisper as from a great distance—Not dead
Not dead—Poor chap, he isnt dead.
We sit, drinking tea
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