Poems on Several Occasions In Two Volumes. By Mr. Joseph Mitchell |
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THE TOTNESS ADDRESS, VERSIFIED. |
 | Poems on Several Occasions |  |
137
THE TOTNESS ADDRESS, VERSIFIED.
Among the many warm Addresses
Of Mayors, Aldermen, Burgesses,
And other People, truly Loyal,
(Who, now, their Zeal and Wits employ all,
To shew Your Majesty, that They
Resolve to Do, as well as Say)
We, Men of Totness, Devon, beg
Our Liege, to let us make a Leg,
And eke a Speech to daunt our Foes,
Where-e'er the London-Gazette goes.
Of Mayors, Aldermen, Burgesses,
And other People, truly Loyal,
(Who, now, their Zeal and Wits employ all,
To shew Your Majesty, that They
Resolve to Do, as well as Say)
We, Men of Totness, Devon, beg
Our Liege, to let us make a Leg,
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Where-e'er the London-Gazette goes.
Imprimis, Sir, in Strain most humble,
We'd have you know how much we grumble,
At Germany and Spain, who durst
Unite—before they warn'd us first!
And might have (had we not found out
Their Machinations) brought about
A World of Woe to You and Your Hope,
To Totness, Britain, and to Europe.
We'd have you know how much we grumble,
At Germany and Spain, who durst
Unite—before they warn'd us first!
And might have (had we not found out
Their Machinations) brought about
A World of Woe to You and Your Hope,
To Totness, Britain, and to Europe.
Their Schemes, too black to be reveal'd,
And yet too true to be conceal'd,
Must strike, with terrible Surprize,
All People, who have Ears and Eyes;
When 'tis but known they were intended
By Princes, we, so late, defended!
Princes, in whose divided Cause,
All Christendom a Deluge was!
But, now, colleagu'd, wou'd Matters jumble,
And Treaties topsy-turvy tumble!
Anticipate, the Conflagration,
By setting Fire to every Nation!
Tho' we, (who made 'em) go to Ruin—
Did ever Mortals see such Doing?
And yet too true to be conceal'd,
Must strike, with terrible Surprize,
All People, who have Ears and Eyes;
139
By Princes, we, so late, defended!
Princes, in whose divided Cause,
All Christendom a Deluge was!
But, now, colleagu'd, wou'd Matters jumble,
And Treaties topsy-turvy tumble!
Anticipate, the Conflagration,
By setting Fire to every Nation!
Tho' we, (who made 'em) go to Ruin—
Did ever Mortals see such Doing?
But vain are Menaces and Threats—
Forsooth, we know their former Feats;
And value, like so many Posts,
Spanish Armada's, German Hosts!
Such scare-crow Potentates may vaunt,
But not your valiant Britons daunt.
Alas! their whimsical Chimeras
Can ne'er affright a Land of Heroes?
Especially, since You, no doubt,
Have been at Pains to look sharp out;
And, timely, taken such wise Measures,
As will ensure our Lives and Treasures.
Then, there's your Parliament, so able;
And Ministry, incomparable,
With Spirits, indefatigable!
Forsooth, we know their former Feats;
And value, like so many Posts,
Spanish Armada's, German Hosts!
Such scare-crow Potentates may vaunt,
But not your valiant Britons daunt.
140
Can ne'er affright a Land of Heroes?
Especially, since You, no doubt,
Have been at Pains to look sharp out;
And, timely, taken such wise Measures,
As will ensure our Lives and Treasures.
Then, there's your Parliament, so able;
And Ministry, incomparable,
With Spirits, indefatigable!
But, most of all—now Blood is up—behold
Your Men of Devon, ever brave and bold!
Bless us! what Heroes has our County bred?
And how your Royal Ancestors have sped,
In like Conjunctures, by their gallant Aid?
We furnish'd Drake, a Man of mighty Fame!
The Sons of Spain still tremble at his Name!
A Raleigh, too, from Devonshire proceeded—
But him we claim not—for he was beheaded!
And, tho' the Dorset Gentry make a Fuss,
Churchill first breath'd the vital Air with Us—
We mean great Marlborough, of immortal Story,
(Hochstedt's a Witness of this Hero's Glory)
To whose sole Arm the Empire Safety owes,
And its great Head his Victory o'er his Foes!
True; These are Dust—But some remain alive,
Who to the Devil Your Enemies will drive.
WAGER and HOSIER! There's a Brace of Tars!
Each more than Neptune, and at least a Mars!
We warrant it, they'll make the Spaniards mind 'em!
And leave to Fishes many Feasts behind 'em!
Besides, our Burough to your Senate sends,
A WILLS, among the bravest of Your Friends!
He, Sir, ev'n He, who now Presents our Speech,
Your Foreign Foes Fidelity will teach.
Lord, how he scourg'd rebellious Rogues, at Preston!
Ay, that's a Proof he's one, whom you may rest on!
Take but our Words, and give him Chief Command,
Ostend shall sink, and Gibraltar shall stand.
Your Men of Devon, ever brave and bold!
Bless us! what Heroes has our County bred?
And how your Royal Ancestors have sped,
In like Conjunctures, by their gallant Aid?
We furnish'd Drake, a Man of mighty Fame!
The Sons of Spain still tremble at his Name!
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But him we claim not—for he was beheaded!
And, tho' the Dorset Gentry make a Fuss,
Churchill first breath'd the vital Air with Us—
We mean great Marlborough, of immortal Story,
(Hochstedt's a Witness of this Hero's Glory)
To whose sole Arm the Empire Safety owes,
And its great Head his Victory o'er his Foes!
True; These are Dust—But some remain alive,
Who to the Devil Your Enemies will drive.
WAGER and HOSIER! There's a Brace of Tars!
Each more than Neptune, and at least a Mars!
We warrant it, they'll make the Spaniards mind 'em!
And leave to Fishes many Feasts behind 'em!
Besides, our Burough to your Senate sends,
A WILLS, among the bravest of Your Friends!
142
Your Foreign Foes Fidelity will teach.
Lord, how he scourg'd rebellious Rogues, at Preston!
Ay, that's a Proof he's one, whom you may rest on!
Take but our Words, and give him Chief Command,
Ostend shall sink, and Gibraltar shall stand.
But, lest you think, Sir, this is Rant,
Nothing but Bamm, and empty Cant,
We, honest, hearty Cocks are willing,
Per Pound Land Tax to pay Four Shilling;
Nay, with such Cheerfulness allow it,
We'll toss the other SIXTEEN to it;
Tho' we should mortgage Lands and Houses,
And eke our Children and our Spouses.
Moreover, we'll most frankly part
With all we have, with all our Heart,
Rather than let our Faith's Defender
Be bullied, by a base Pretender—
A spurious, Popish Brat, abjur'd
By all of Loyalty assur'd!
If this we did in sober Sadness,
What mayn't we do when rouz'd to Madness?
We vow and swear, by Life's great Giver,
To fight him to our longest Liver;
And, when our longest Liver's dead,
Our Ghosts shall haunt Him, in our stead,
And fill his Coward-Soul with Dread!
Nothing but Bamm, and empty Cant,
We, honest, hearty Cocks are willing,
Per Pound Land Tax to pay Four Shilling;
Nay, with such Cheerfulness allow it,
We'll toss the other SIXTEEN to it;
Tho' we should mortgage Lands and Houses,
And eke our Children and our Spouses.
Moreover, we'll most frankly part
With all we have, with all our Heart,
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Be bullied, by a base Pretender—
A spurious, Popish Brat, abjur'd
By all of Loyalty assur'd!
If this we did in sober Sadness,
What mayn't we do when rouz'd to Madness?
We vow and swear, by Life's great Giver,
To fight him to our longest Liver;
And, when our longest Liver's dead,
Our Ghosts shall haunt Him, in our stead,
And fill his Coward-Soul with Dread!
This Resolution we have taken,
That, warn'd, He may preserve his Bacon;
Or shou'd he ever chance to win
A bloody Battle, and come in;
(Which Heav'n forbid shou'd ever be!)
Know, by these present Lines, that we
Assure Him, he'll be fairly bit,
And, on your Throne, unkingly sit;
When none is left for such a Tartar
To head, and hang, and draw, and quarter!
That, warn'd, He may preserve his Bacon;
Or shou'd he ever chance to win
A bloody Battle, and come in;
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Know, by these present Lines, that we
Assure Him, he'll be fairly bit,
And, on your Throne, unkingly sit;
When none is left for such a Tartar
To head, and hang, and draw, and quarter!
And now, Sir, to conclude our Speech,
And shew we pray, as well as preach,
We've clubb'd an Hymn, and cordial given
Our Cares, in humble Staves, to Heaven.
And shew we pray, as well as preach,
We've clubb'd an Hymn, and cordial given
Our Cares, in humble Staves, to Heaven.
I
“God prosper well our noble King,“Our Lives and Fortunes all!
“May Peace, and Truth, and Wit, and Wealth,
“The Britons brave befall!
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II
“Late, very late, may our good Liege“A Heavenly Crown obtain!
“And eke his Royal House ne'er want
“A Prince, so fit to reign!
III
“O may our Happiness, so rare,“To future Times go down!
“Let all the People say, Amen!
“Amen, says Totness Town!
| Poems on Several Occasions | |