47. LETTER XLVII.
COUSIN EPHRAIM DESCRIBES THE METHOD OF PUTTING “DIMOKRATS”
OVER ON TO THE FEDERAL SIDE, AND LAYS A PLAN TO GET THE
DOWNINGVILLE POST-OFFICE.
Downingville, State of Maine, August 12, 1833.
To Cousin Major Jack Downing, at Washington City.
Dear Cousin Jack:—I've got something pretty heavy on
my mind that I want to tell ye about, and ask your advice,
and may be I shall want you to lend me a hand a little. I've
been watching politics pretty snug ever since I was a little
boy, and that's near about thirty years; and I believe I know
most as much about it as Uncle Joshua, although he's twenty
years older than I be. Now about this Republikanism and
Federalism, I've minded that it always keeps changing, and
always has, ever since I can remember. And I've minded, tu,
it most always keeps going round one way; that is, the young
Federalists keep turning Dimokrats, and the old Dimokrats keep
turning Federalists. What it's for I don't exactly know, but
that's the way it goes. I s'pose a man, on the whole, isn't
hardly fit to be a Dimokrat after he gets to be fifty years old.
And here is old Uncle Joshua in the Post-Office, he's got to
be about fifty, and he's hanging on to the Dimokratic side yet,
like the toothache; and it begins to worry me a good deal.
I think it's high time he went over. You know Downingville
has always been a genuine Republikan town, and I want it
should always go according to the usages (I think that's what
they call it) of the Dimokratic party.
When it gets to be time for an old Dimokrat to go over on
the Federal side, I believe the Argus always put's em over.
You remember there was old Mr. Insley in Portland, and old
Gineral Wingate in Bath, as much as a dozen years ago, were
some as big Republikans as there was anywhere about.
Well, they got to be considerable old, and had been in office
some time, so the Argus took and clapt 'em right over on to
the Federal side. And you know there was Mr. Holmes, he
was a whapping great Republikan. But he begun to grow
old, and so the Argus put him over.
And this summer the Argus is putting of 'em over considerable
younger on to the Federal side. It has put Judge
Preble over, and Judge Ware, and Mr. Mitchell, the Postmaster
at Portland, and he isn't near so old as Uncle Joshua;
and it has put Mr. Megquier over—only think, such a young
man as Mr. Megquier, that's only been in the State Sinnet
three or four years. Now don't you think, according to Dimokratic
usage, it's high time old Uncle Joshua was put over?
I wish you would jest write to the Argus and have it done,
for I feel a good deal worried about it.
And as soon as it comes out in the Argus that he is fairly
over, I want you to tell the President that Uncle Joshua is a
Federalist, and have him removed from the Post-Office, for it
would be an everlasting shame to have the Post-Office in
Downingville kept by a Federalist.
N. B.—If Uncle Joshua should be removed, I wish you
would use your influence to get the President to give the
office to me; for, next to Uncle Joshua, I s'pose I've done
more for the Republikan party than any man in Downingville.
I can have a recommendation from Sargent Joel and all the
company. By attending to this, you will much oblige
Your friend and cousin,
EPHRAIM DOWNING.
