1. BABBITT
CHAPTER I
I
THE towers of Zenith aspired above the morning mist; austere
towers of steel and cement and limestone, sturdy as cliffs
and delicate as silver rods. They were neither citadels nor
churches, but frankly and beautifully office-buildings.
The mist took pity on the fretted structures of earlier generations:
the Post Office with its shingle-tortured mansard,
the red brick minarets of hulking old houses, factories with
stingy and sooted windows, wooden tenements colored like
mud. The city was full of such grotesqueries, but the clean
towers were thrusting them from the business center, and on
the farther hills were shining new houses, homes—they seemed
—for laughter and tranquillity.
Over a concrete bridge fled a limousine of long sleek hood
and noiseless engine. These people in evening clothes were
returning from an all-night rehearsal of a Little Theater play,
an artistic adventure considerably illuminated by champagne.
Below the bridge curved a railroad, a maze of green and
crimson lights. The New York Flyer boomed past, and twenty
lines of polished steel leaped into the glare.
In one of the skyscrapers the wires of the Associated Press
were closing down. The telegraph operators wearily raised
their celluloid eye-shades after a night of talking with Paris
and Peking. Through the building crawled the scrubwomen,
yawning, their old shoes slapping. The dawn mist spun away.
Cues of men with lunch-boxes clumped toward the immensity
of new factories, sheets of glass and hollow tile, glittering shops
where five thousand men worked beneath one roof, pouring
out the honest wares that would be sold up the Euphrates
and across the veldt. The whistles rolled out in greeting a
chorus cheerful as the April dawn; the song of labor in a city
built—it seemed—for giants.
II
There was nothing of the giant in the aspect of the man
who was beginning to awaken on the sleeping-porch of a
Dutch Colonial house in that residential district of Zenith
known as Floral Heights.
His name was George F. Babbitt. He was forty-six years
old now, in April, 1920, and he made nothing in particular,
neither butter nor shoes nor poetry, but he was nimble in the
calling of selling houses for more than people could afford
to pay.
His large head was pink, his brown hair thin and dry. His
face was babyish in slumber, despite his wrinkles and the
red spectacle-dents on the slopes of his nose. He was not fat
but he was exceedingly well fed; his cheeks were pads, and
the unroughened hand which lay helpless upon the
khaki-colored blanket was slightly puffy. He seemed prosperous,
extremely married and unromantic; and altogether unromantic
appeared this sleeping-porch, which looked on one sizable
elm, two respectable grass-plots, a cement driveway, and a
corrugated iron garage. Yet Babbitt was again dreaming of
the fairy child, a dream more romantic than scarlet pagodas by
a silver sea.
For years the fairy child had come to him. Where others
saw but Georgie Babbitt, she discerned gallant youth. She
waited for him, in the darkness beyond mysterious groves.
When at last he could slip away from the crowded house he
darted to her. His wife, his clamoring friends, sought to follow,
but he escaped, the girl fleet beside him, and they crouched
together on a shadowy hillside. She was so slim, so white, so
eager! She cried that he was gay and valiant, that she would
wait for him, that they would sail—
Rumble and bang of the milk-truck.
Babbitt moaned; turned over; struggled back toward his
dream. He could see only her face now, beyond misty
waters. The furnace-man slammed the basement door. A
dog barked in the next yard. As Babbitt sank blissfully into
a dim warm tide, the paper-carrier went by whistling, and the
rolled-up Advocate thumped the front door. Babbitt roused,
his stomach constricted with alarm. As he relaxed, he was
pierced by the familiar and irritating rattle of some one cranking
a Ford: snap-ah-ah, snap-ah-ah, snap-ah-ah. Himself a
pious motorist, Babbitt cranked with the unseen driver, with
him waited through taut hours for the roar of the starting
engine, with him agonized as the roar ceased and again began
the infernal patient snap-ah-ah—a round, flat sound, a shivering
cold-morning sound, a sound infuriating and inescapable.
Not till the rising voice of the motor told him that the Ford
was moving was he released from the panting tension. He
glanced once at his favorite tree, elm twigs against the gold
patina of sky, and fumbled for sleep as for a drug. He who
had been a boy very credulous of life was no longer greatly
interested in the possible and improbable adventures of each
new day.
He escaped from reality till the alarm-clock rang, at
seven-twenty.
III
It was the best of nationally advertised and quantitatively
produced alarm-clocks, with all modern attachments, including
cathedral chime, intermittent alarm, and a phosphorescent
dial. Babbitt was proud of being awakened by such a rich
device. Socially it was almost as creditable as buying
expensive cord tires.
He sulkily admitted now that there was no more escape,
but he lay and detested the grind of the real-estate business,
and disliked his family, and disliked himself for disliking them.
The evening before, he had played poker at Vergil Gunch's
till midnight, and after such holidays he was irritable before
breakfast. It may have been the tremendous home-brewed
beer of the prohibition-era and the cigars to which that beer
enticed him; it may have been resentment of return from
this fine, bold man-world to a restricted region of wives and
stenographers, and of suggestions not to smoke so much.
From the bedroom beside the sleeping-porch, his wife's detestably
cheerful "Time to get up, Georgie boy,'' and the itchy
sound, the brisk and scratchy sound, of combing hairs out of
a stiff brush.
He grunted; he dragged his thick legs, in faded baby-blue
pajamas, from under the khaki blanket; he sat on the edge
of the cot, running his fingers through his wild hair, while his
plump feet mechanically felt for his slippers. He looked regretfully
at the blanket—forever a suggestion to him of freedom
and heroism. He had bought it for a camping trip which
had never come off. It symbolized gorgeous loafing, gorgeous
cursing, virile flannel shirts.
He creaked to his feet, groaning at the waves of pain which
passed behind his eyeballs. Though he waited for their scorching
recurrence, he looked blurrily out at the yard. It delighted
him, as always; it was the neat yard of a successful business
man of Zenith, that is, it was perfection, and made him also
perfect. He regarded the corrugated iron garage. For the
three-hundred-and-sixty-fifth time in a year he reflected, "No
class to that tin shack. Have to build me a frame garage.
But by golly it's the only thing on the place that isn't
up-to-date!'' While he stared he thought of a community garage for
his acreage development, Glen Oriole. He stopped puffing and
jiggling. His arms were akimbo. His petulant, sleep-swollen
face was set in harder lines. He suddenly seemed capable, an
official, a man to contrive, to direct, to get things done.
On the vigor of his idea he was carried down the hard,
dean, unused-looking hall into the bathroom.
Though the house was not large it had, like all houses on
Floral Heights, an altogether royal bathroom of porcelain and
glazed tile and metal sleek as silver. The towel-rack was a
rod of clear glass set in nickel. The tub was long enough
for a Prussian Guard, and above the set bowl was a sensational
exhibit of tooth-brush holder, shaving-brush holder, soap-dish,
sponge-dish, and medicine-cabinet, so glittering and so ingenious
that they resembled an electrical instrument-board.
But the Babbitt whose god was Modern Appliances was not
pleased. The air of the bathroom was thick with the smell of
a heathen toothpaste. "Verona been at it again! 'Stead of
sticking to Lilidol, like I've re-peat-ed-ly asked her, she's gone
and gotten some confounded stinkum stuff that makes you
sick!''
The bath-mat was wrinkled and the floor was wet. (His
daughter Verona eccentrically took baths in the morning, now
and then.) He slipped on the mat, and slid against the tub.
He said "Damn!'' Furiously he snatched up his tube of
shaving-cream, furiously he lathered, with a belligerent slapping
of the unctuous brush, furiously he raked his plump cheeks
with a safety-razor. It pulled. The blade was dull. He
said, "Damn—oh—oh—damn it!''
He hunted through the medicine-cabinet for a packet of
new razor-blades (reflecting, as invariably, "Be cheaper to
buy one of these dinguses and strop your own blades,'') and
when he discovered the packet, behind the round box of bicarbonate
of soda, he thought ill of his wife for putting it
there and very well of himself for not saying "Damn.'' But
he did say it, immediately afterward, when with wet and
soap-slippery fingers he tried to remove the horrible little
envelope and crisp clinging oiled paper from the new blade.
Then there was the problem, oft-pondered, never solved, of
what to do with the old blade, which might imperil the fingers
of his young. As usual, he tossed it on top of the
medicine-cabinet, with a mental note that some day he must remove
the fifty or sixty other blades that were also temporarily,
piled up there. He finished his shaving in a growing testiness
increased by his spinning headache and by the emptiness
in his stomach. When he was done, his round face smooth
and streamy and his eyes stinging from soapy water, he
reached for a towel. The family towels were wet, wet and
clammy and vile, all of them wet, he found, as he blindly
snatched them—his own face-towel, his wife's, Verona's, Ted's,
Tinka's, and the lone bath-towel with the huge welt of initial.
Then George F. Babbitt did a dismaying thing. He wiped
his face on the guest-towel! It was a pansy-embroidered
trifle which always hung there to indicate that the Babbitts
were in the best Floral Heights society. No one had ever
used it. No guest had ever dared to. Guests secretively took
a corner of the nearest regular towel.
He was raging, "By golly, here they go and use up all the
towels, every doggone one of 'em, and they use 'em and get 'em
all wet and sopping, and never put out a dry one for me—
of course, I'm the goat!—and then I want one and— I'm the
only person in the doggone house that's got the slightest doggone
bit of consideration for other people and thoughtfulness
and consider there may be others that may want to use the
doggone bathroom after me and consider—''
He was pitching the chill abominations into the bath-tub,
pleased by the vindictiveness of that desolate flapping sound;
and in the midst his wife serenely trotted in, observed serenely,
"Why Georgie dear, what are you doing? Are you
going to wash out the towels? Why, you needn't wash out
the towels. Oh, Georgie, you didn't go and use the
guest-towel, did you?''
It is not recorded that he was able to answer.
For the first time in weeks he was sufficiently roused by
his wife to look at her.
IV
Myra Babbitt—Mrs. George F. Babbitt—was definitely mature.
She had creases from the corners of her mouth to the
bottom of her chin, and her plump neck bagged. But the
thing that marked her as having passed the line was that she
no longer had reticences before her husband, and no longer
worried about not having reticences. She was in a petticoat
now, and corsets which bulged, and unaware of being seen
in bulgy corsets. She had become so dully habituated to
married life that in her full matronliness she was as sexless as
an anemic nun. She was a good woman, a kind woman, a
diligent woman, but no one, save perhaps Tinka her ten-year-old,
was at all interested in her or entirely aware that
she was alive.
After a rather thorough discussion of all the domestic and
social aspects of towels she apologized to Babbitt for his
having an alcoholic headache; and he recovered enough to
endure the search for a B.V.D. undershirt which had, he pointed
out, malevolently been concealed among his clean pajamas.
He was fairly amiable in the conference on the brown suit.
"What do you think, Myra?'' He pawed at the clothes
hunched on a chair in their bedroom, while she moved about
mysteriously adjusting and patting her petticoat and, to his
jaundiced eye, never seeming to get on with her dressing.
"How about it? Shall I wear the brown suit another
day?''
"Well, it looks awfully nice on you.''
"I know, but gosh, it needs pressing.''
"That's so. Perhaps it does.''
"It certainly could stand being pressed, all right.''
"Yes, perhaps it wouldn't hurt it to be pressed.''
"But gee, the coat doesn't need pressing. No sense in having
the whole darn suit pressed, when the coat doesn't need it.''
"That's so.''
"But the pants certainly need it, all right. Look at them
—look at those wrinkles—the pants certainly do need pressing.''
"That's so. Oh, Georgie, why couldn't you wear the brown
coat with the blue trousers we were wondering what we'd do
with them?''
"Good Lord! Did you ever in all my life know me to wear
the coat of one suit and the pants of another? What do you
think I am? A busted bookkeeper?''
"Well, why don't you put on the dark gray suit to-day, and
stop in at the tailor and leave the brown trousers?''
"Well, they certainly need— Now where the devil is that
gray suit? Oh, yes, here we are.''
He was able to get through the other crises of dressing with
comparative resoluteness and calm.
His first adornment was the sleeveless dimity B.V.D.
undershirt, in which he resembled a small boy humorlessly
wearing a cheesecloth tabard at a civic pageant. He never
put on B.V.D.'s without thanking the God of Progress that he
didn't wear tight, long, old-fashioned undergarments, like his
father-in-law and partner, Henry Thompson. His second embellishment
was combing and slicking back his hair. It gave
him a tremendous forehead, arching up two inches beyond
the former hair-line. But most wonder-working of all was
the donning of his spectacles.
There is character in spectacles—the pretentious
tortoise-shell, the meek pince-nez of the school teacher, the twisted
silver-framed glasses of the old villager. Babbitt's spectacles
had huge, circular, frameless lenses of the very best glass;
the ear-pieces were thin bars of gold. In them he was the
modern business man; one who gave orders to clerks and drove
a car and played occasional golf and was scholarly in regard
to Salesmanship. His head suddenly appeared not babyish
but weighty, and you noted his heavy, blunt nose, his straight
mouth and thick, long upper lip, his chin overfleshy but strong;
with respect you beheld him put on the rest of his uniform as
a Solid Citizen.
The gray suit was well cut, well made, and completely undistinguished.
It was a standard suit. White piping on the
V of the vest added a flavor of law and learning. His shoes
were black laced boots, good boots, honest boots, standard
boots, extraordinarily uninteresting boots. The only frivolity
was in his purple knitted scarf. With considerable comment
on the matter to Mrs. Babbitt (who, acrobatically fastening
the back of her blouse to her skirt with a safety-pin, did not
hear a word he said), he chose between the purple scarf and
a tapestry effect with stringless brown harps among blown
palms, and into it he thrust a snake-head pin with opal eyes.
A sensational event was changing from the brown suit to
the gray the contents of his pockets. He was earnest about
these objects. They were of eternal importance, like baseball
or the Republican Party. They included a fountain pen and
a silver pencil (always lacking a supply of new leads) which
belonged in the righthand upper vest pocket. Without them
he would have felt naked. On his watch-chain were a gold
penknife, silver cigar-cutter, seven keys (the use of two of
which he had forgotten), and incidentally a good watch. Depending
from the chain was a large, yellowish elk's-tooth-proclamation
of his membership in the Brotherly and Protective
Order of Elks. Most significant of all was his loose-leaf
pocket note-book, that modern and efficient note-book which
contained the addresses of people whom he had forgotten, prudent
memoranda of postal money-orders which had reached
their destinations months ago, stamps which had lost their
mucilage, clippings of verses by T. Cholmondeley Frink and
of the newspaper editorials from which Babbitt got his opinions
and his polysyllables, notes to be sure and do things which
he did not intend to do, and one curious inscription—D.S.S.
D.M.Y.P.D.F.
But he had no cigarette-case. No one had ever happened
to give him one, so he hadn't the habit, and people who carried
cigarette-cases he regarded as effeminate.
Last, he stuck in his lapel the Boosters' Club button. With
the conciseness of great art the button displayed two words:
"Boosters-Pep!'' It made Babbitt feel loyal and important.
It associated him with Good Fellows, with men who were nice
and human, and important in business circles. It was his
V.C., his Legion of Honor ribbon, his Phi Beta Kappa key.
With the subtleties of dressing ran other complex worries.
"I feel kind of punk this morning,'' he said. "I think I had
too much dinner last evening. You oughtn't to serve those
heavy banana fritters.''
"But you asked me to have some.''
"I know, but— I tell you, when a fellow gets past forty
he has to look after his digestion. There's a lot of fellows
that don't take proper care of themselves. I tell you at forty
a man's a fool or his doctor—I mean, his own doctor. Folks
don't give enough attention to this matter of dieting. Now
I think— Course a man ought to have a good meal after
the day's work, but it would be a good thing for both of us
if we took lighter lunches.''
"But Georgie, here at home I always do have a light
lunch.''
"Mean to imply I make a hog of myself, eating down-town?
Yes, sure! You'd have a swell time if you had to eat the
truck that new steward hands out to us at the Athletic Club!
But I certainly do feel out of sorts, this morning. Funny, got
a pain down here on the left side—but no, that wouldn't be
appendicitis, would it? Last night, when I was driving over
to Verg Gunch's, I felt a pain in my stomach, too. Right here
it was—kind of a sharp shooting pain. I— Where'd that
dime go to? Why don't you serve more prunes at breakfast?
Of course I eat an apple every evening—an apple a
day keeps the doctor away—but still, you ought to have more
prunes, and not all these fancy doodads.''
"The last time I had prunes you didn't eat them.''
"Well, I didn't feel like eating 'em, I suppose. Matter of
fact, I think I did eat some of 'em. Anyway— I tell you
it's mighty important to— I was saying to Verg Gunch, just
last evening, most people don't take sufficient care of their
diges—''
"Shall we have the Gunches for our dinner, next week?''
"Why sure; you bet.''
"Now see here, George: I want you to put on your nice
dinner-jacket that evening.''
"Rats! The rest of 'em won't want to dress.''
"Of course they will. You remember when you didn't dress
for the Littlefields' supper-party, and all the rest did, and how
embarrassed you were.''
"Embarrassed, hell! I wasn't embarrassed. Everybody
knows I can put on as expensive a Tux. as anybody else, and
I should worry if I don't happen to have it on sometimes. All
a darn nuisance, anyway. All right for a woman, that stays
around the house all the time, but when a fellow's worked
like the dickens all day, he doesn't want to go and hustle his
head off getting into the soup-and-fish for a lot of folks that
he's seen in just reg'lar ordinary clothes that same day.''
"You know you enjoy being seen in one. The other evening
you admitted you were glad I'd insisted on your dressing.
You said you felt a lot better for it. And oh, Georgie, I do
wish you wouldn't say `Tux.' It's `dinner-jacket.' ''
"Rats, what's the odds?''
"Well, it's what all the nice folks say. Suppose Lucile McKelvey
heard you calling it a `Tux.' ''
"Well, that's all right now! Lucile McKelvey can't pull
anything on me! Her folks are common as mud, even if her
husband and her dad are millionaires! I suppose you're trying
to rub in your exalted social position! Well, let me tell you
that your revered paternal ancestor, Henry T., doesn't even
call it a `Tux.'! He calls it a `bobtail jacket for a ringtail
monkey,' and you couldn't get him into one unless you
chloroformed him!''
"Now don't be horrid, George.''
"Well, I don't want to be horrid, but Lord! you're getting
as fussy as Verona. Ever since she got out of college she's
been too rambunctious to live with—doesn't know what she
wants—well, I know what she wants!—all she wants is to
marry a millionaire, and live in Europe, and hold some preacher's
hand, and simultaneously at the same time stay right here
in Zenith and be some blooming kind of a socialist agitator
or boss charity-worker or some damn thing! Lord, and Ted
is just as bad! He wants to go to college, and he doesn't want
to go to college. Only one of the three that knows her own
mind is Tinka. Simply can't understand how I ever came to
have a pair of shillyshallying children like Rone and Ted.
I may not be any Rockefeller or James J. Shakespeare, but
I certainly do know my own mind, and I do keep right on
plugging along in the office and— Do you know the latest?
Far as I can figure out, Ted's new bee is he'd like to be a
movie actor and— And here I've told him a hundred times,
if he'll go to college and law-school and make good, I'll set
him up in business and— Verona just exactly as bad.
Doesn't know what she wants. Well, well, come on! Aren't
you ready yet? The girl rang the bell three minutes ago.''
V
Before he followed his wife, Babbitt stood at the westernmost
window of their room. This residential settlement,
Floral Heights, was on a rise; and though the center of the
city was three miles away—Zenith had between three and four
hundred thousand inhabitants now—he could see the top of
the Second National Tower, an Indiana limestone building of
thirty-five stories.
Its shining walls rose against April sky to a simple cornice
like a streak of white fire. Integrity was in the tower, and
decision. It bore its strength lightly as a tall soldier. As
Babbitt stared, the nervousness was soothed from his face, his
slack chin lifted in reverence. All he articulated was "That's
one lovely sight!'' but he was inspired by the rhythm of the
city; his love of it renewed. He beheld the tower as a temple-spire
of the religion of business, a faith passionate, exalted,
surpassing common men; and as he clumped down to
breakfast he whistled the ballad "Oh, by gee, by gosh, by
jingo'' as though it were a hymn melancholy and noble.