University of Virginia Library

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v

CONTENTS.

PAGE

• Uncle Consider, on Temperance, 9

• Solitaire Diamonds, 13

• Eli Perkins in Hot Water, 16

• Eli on Fire-Proof Houses, 20

• Dreadful Profanity, 23

• Eli Perkins's Pen Pictures, 24

• A Fifth Avenue Episode, 28

• A Lonesome Man, 30

• About Children, 34

• Servantgalism, 38

• Uppertendom, 40

• Letter from Ant Charity, 45

• The Literary Girl, 51

• Uncle Consider as a Crusader, 55

• Eli in Love, 58

• Brown's Boys, 60

• A Brown's Boy in Love, 66

• Brown's Boys in New York, 68

• Rich Brown's Boys, 74

• Brown's Girls, 78

• Advice to Young Men, 84

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• The Funny Side of Fisk, 87

• Rev. Eli Perkins, 98

• A Sad Man, 102

• A Queer Man, 104

• Eli's Happy Thoughts, 106

• The Legal-Minded Man, 109

• A Grateful Man, 111

• A Consistent Man, 114

• The Dancing Mania, 115

• The Military Man, 117

• The Horse Man, 119

• The Pious Man, 120

• A Frontiersman, 121

• The Hackman, 124

• Sewers and Sowers, 125

• Hard on Lawyers, 127

• E. Perkins—Attorney at Law, 129

• How Donn Pirate Thrashed Eli Perkins, 131

• A Day at Saratoga, 135

• The Swells at Saratoga, 140

• Minnie in Saratoga, 143

• Married Brown's Boys at Saratoga, 150

• Eli's Belle of Saratoga, 155

• Brown's Boys at Saratoga, 157

• Up to Snuff, 160

• A Flirting Dodge, 162

• Fall of Another Clergyman, 164

• The Swell Dress Parade, 166

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• The Good Man, 169

• Owed to Franklin Statue, 172

• A Parrot Story, 172

• The Rat Story, 173

• Travers and Clews, 173

• Travers on Fisk and Gould, 174

• Pawn-Shop Clothes, 175

• Where Ducks Live, 175

• Five Hundred Dollars Saved, 176

• Tip of the Fashion, 177

• Shirking from Work, 177

• Trunk Smashers, 178

• Eli on Dominie Ford, 179

• A Hard Name, 179

• Eli on the F. F. C's., 180

• The Meanest Man Yet, 181

• Newspaper Goke, 182

• Eli on Ana, 182

• Animate Nature, 183

• Original Poetry, 183

• Complimentary, 184

• Babies, 184

• Tight Lacing, 185

• Som-et-i-mes, 185

• Grammar, 186

• Eli Perkins Blunders, 186

• Nice Arable Land, 188

• Money Close, 188

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• Indifference, 189

• The Whiskey War, 189

• Fun in Washington, Ohio, 190

• Terribly Indignant, 191

• The Unsuspecting Man, 191

• Very Dangerous, 192

• Wood, 193

• Saratoga Betting, 193

• Wicked and Profane, 194

• Mr. Marvin's Blunder, 194

• Poor but Honest, 195

• Precise Statements, 195

• Early to Bed, 196

• Personal Matters, 196

• Small Feet, 197

• Little Perkinsisms, 199

• Eli Perkins's New Year's Calls 203

• How Eli Perkins Lectured in Pottsville, 211

• Scaring a Connecticut Farmer, 222

• Eli Perkins as a Balloonatic, 225

• The Shrewd Man, 233

• Lost Children in New York, 237