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Eli Perkins (at large)

his sayings and doings
Landon, Melville D. (1839-1910)
 Barrett Bookplate. 
[book-plate]
  
[title page]
  
PREFACE.
  
CONTENTS.

  
UNCLE CONSIDER, ON TEMPERANCE.
  
SOLITAIRE DIAMONDS.
  
ELI PERKINS IN HOT WATER.
  
ELI ON FIRE-PROOF HOUSES.
  
DREADFUL PROFANITY.
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ELI PERKINS'S PEN PICTURES.
 1. 
I.
 2. 
II.
 3. 
III.
 4. 
IV.
  
A FIFTH AVENUE EPISODE.
  
A LONESOME MAN.
  
SARATOGA SPRING FASHIONS.
  
ABOUT CHILDREN.
  
SERVANTGALISM.
  
UPPERTENDOM.
  
LETTER FROM ANT CHARITY.
  
THE LITERARY GIRL.
  
UNCLE CONSIDER AS A CRUSADER.
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ELI IN LOVE.
 1. 
CHAP. I.
 2. 
CHAP. II.
 3. 
CHAP. III.
 4. 
CHAP. IV.
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BROWN'S BOYS.
 1. 
CHAPTER I. THE TRIBE IN GENERAL.
 2. 
CHAPTER II. BROWN'S BOYS AT PARTIES.
  
A BROWN'S BOY IN LOVE.
  
BROWN'S BOYS IN NEW YORK.
  
RICH BROWN'S BOYS.
  
BROWN'S GIRLS.
  
ADVICE TO YOUNG MEN.
  
THE FUNNY SIDE OF FISK.
  
REV. ELI PERKINS.
  
A SAD MAN.
  
A QUEER MAN.
  
ELI'S HAPPY THOUGHTS.
  
THE LEGAL-MINDED MAN.
  
A GRATEFUL MAN.
  
A CONSISTENT MAN.
  
THE DANCING MANIA.
  
THE MILITARY MAN.
  
THE HORSE MAN.
  
THE PIOUS MAN.
  
A FRONTIERSMAN.
  
THE HACKMAN.
  
SEWERS AND SOWERS.
  
HARD ON LAWYERS.
  
E. PERKINS—ATTORNEY AT LAW.
  
HOW DONN PIRATE THRASHED “ELI PERKINS.”
  
A DAY AT SARATOGA.
  
THE SWELLS AT SARATOGA.
  
MINNIE IN SARATOGA.
  
MARRIED BROWN'S BOYS AT SARATOGA.
  
ELI'S BELLE OF SARATOGA.
  
BROWN'S BOYS AT SARATOGA.
  
UP TO SNUFF.
  
A FLIRTING DODGE.
  
FALL OF ANOTHER CLERGYMAN.
  
THE SWELL DRESS-PARADE.
  
THE GOOD MAN.
  
OWED TO FRANKLIN STATUE.
  
A PARROT STORY.
  
THE RAT STORY.
  
TRAVERS AND CLEWS.
  
TRAVERS ON FISK AND GOULD.
  
PAWN-SHOP CLOTHES.
  
WHERE DUCKS LIVE.
  
FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS SAVED.
  
TIP OF THE FASHION.
  
SHIRKING FROM WORK.
  
TRUNK SMASHERS.
  
ELI ON DOMINIE FORD.
  
A HARD NAME.
  
ELI ON THE F. F. C's.
  
THE MEANEST MAN YET.
  
NEWSPAPER GOKE.
  
ELI ON ANA.
  
ANIMATE NATURE.
  
ORIGINAL POETRY.
  
COMPLIMENTARY.
  
BABIES.
  
TIGHT LACING.
  
SOM-ET-I-MES.
  
GRAMMAR.
  
ELI PERKINS BLUNDERS.
  
NICE ARABLE LAND.
  
MONEY CLOSE.
  
INDIFFERENCE.
  
THE WHISKEY WAR.
  
FUN IN WASHINGTON, OHIO.
  
TERRIBLY INDIGNANT.
  
THE UNSUSPECTING MAN.
  
VERY DANGEROUS.
  
WOOD.
  
SARATOGA BETTING.
  
WICKED AND PROFANE.
  
MR. MARVIN'S BLUNDER.
  
POOR BUT HONEST.
  
PRECISE STATEMENTS.
  
EARLY TO BED.
  
PERSONAL MATTERS.
  
SMALL FEET.
  
LITTLE PERKINSISMS.
  
ELI PERKINS'S NEW YEAR'S CALLS.
  
HOW ELI PERKINS LECTURED IN POTTSVILLE.
  
SCARING A CONNECTICUT FARMER.
  
ELI PERKINS AS A BALLOONATIC.
  
THE SHREWD MAN.
  
LOST CHILDREN IN NEW YORK.
  
THE ABSENT-MINDED MAN.
  
TWO HUNDRED MILLIONS OF DOLLARS!

  
CHICKERING & SONS' GRAND, SQUARE and UPRIGHT PIANO-FORTES
  
Established 1841.
  
TRADE MARK Dunlap & Co. N.Y.
  
OTIS PASSENGER AND FREIGHT ELEVATORS
  
GOOD NOVELS!
  
ESTABLISHED 1870.
  
HANOVER Fire Insurance Company OF THE CITY OF NEW YORK.
  
AUTOMATIC.
  
Grand Union Hotel, SARATOGA SPRINGS, J. H. BRESLIN & CO., Proprietors.
  
ENOCH MORGAN'S SON'S SAPOLIO, For Cleaning and Polishing.
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184

Page 184

COMPLIMENTARY.

The editor of the Cleveland Leader brought his wife
and eleven children—all boys and girls—to “Eli Perkins's”
lecture on free tickets, and then went home
and deliberately wrote and punctuated the following:

“A poor man fell over the gallery last night while `Eli Perkins'
was lecturing in a beastly state of intoxication.”

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