1. CHAPTER I.
THE TRIBE IN GENERAL.
The Brown's Boy is peculiar
to New York, though
every large city is infested
with Brown's Boys in a greater
or less degree. They were
named after Sexton Brown of
Grace Church. They are his
boys. He keeps them—this
dilettante Grace Church sexton
does—to run swell parties
with. He furnishes them with
invitations to weddings and
parties and receptions. In fact, Brown contracts to
furnish Brown's Boys to dance and flirt, and amuse
young ladies at parties, just as he contracts to furnish
flowers and ushers and pall-bearers at a funeral. How
can Mrs. Witherington's party go off well without a
Brown's Boy to lead the German? They don't have
anything in particular to do, Brown's Boys don't, and
it takes them all the time to do it. They don't have
much money, but they make believe they have immense
incomes. They are looking out for rich wives. They
live in cheap rooms, on side-streets, and swell in Fifth
Avenue parlors. Ask them what they do for a living,
and they will say,—.
“O, aw—I opewate a little in stawks now and then
on Wall street, yeu know.”
If you go down to Wall street you will never see or
hear of them.
In New York they live on the Egyptian plan—that
is, they rent a hall bedroom and eat when they are
invited; but in Saratoga they swell around in amber
kids and white neckties, and spend their time in
dancing the German and in noble endeavors to win
the affections of some rich young lady. Their whole
theory of a noble life is to marry a rich girl and board
with her mother—and not be bored by her mother.
These Brown's Boys are always very religious—from
12 to 1 on Sundays. At that hour you will see them
always religiously—returning from church. You will
always see them just coming from or going to church;
but I have consulted the “oldest inhabitant,” who
says that up to this time, they have never been visible
to the naked eye while engaged in an active state of
worship.
Brown's Boys are good managers. They all have
nice dress suits, and wear immaculate kids. They
dance all the round dances, and, at supper, “corner”
enough champagne behind ladies' dresses to last all
the evening—even after the champagne is all out, and
other people are reduced to lemonade and punch.
They never take any one to a party. They come late
and alone, but they go for the prettiest girl immediately
on their arrival, and run her regular escort out.
They don't call that “cheek”—they call it society
diplomacy.
The theater and opera are the favorite resort of
Brown's Boys. They go alone, in swell Ulster overcoats,
crush Dunlop hats, and elaborate opera glasses.
Here they stand around the doors and aisles, and
during the acts visit rich young ladies in their twenty-six-dollar
boxes.
