University of Virginia Library

UNMET CONFIDENCE.

Much of the evil of life springs from hiding ourselves
from each other; and that we do hide ourselves is the
result of a want of confidence in each other, that would
allow us to give and receive with kindness. We dare
not tell one of his faults, though they may be very
apparent, because we fear to offend him. He sets us
down as his enemy, at once, when we wound his self-esteem
by intimating that he is not infallible. So when

others are spoken of in whom we have interest. An
intimation of their possible imperfection excites us
against the one breathing the suspicion. We know the
charges are wrong; we feel that we cannot have been
mistaken in the individuals who so much engross our
esteem, and hence we cast off those who, by the very
act of daring to incur our displeasure, have proved themselves
our best friends, and the most worthy of our
friendship. The charges may be false, groundless, but
they should be made, in orker to be met and refuted, and
the motive of their being submitted canvassed, and its
sincerity established. In domestic matters the want of
this confidence is severely felt. The tart and scornful
reply to a confided thing checks future candor in that
direction. No man, if he have any spirit, will incur the
danger of getting snubbed twice in the same way.
Hence when, after many days, scandal bears tales to
ears that should have heard them long ago, tears and
bitterness make a dismal episode in life, that never would
have occurred if those who weep had known the secret
of securing their own happiness. An ingenuous spirit
should be met with equal openness and candor. To
cramp such a spirit, and still its warmth by reproach, or
innuendo, or indifference, is a fatal mistake, and lays the
foundation for a healthy growth of misery in the time to
come, when love and confidence are most needed. Men
speak in very severe terms, and justly, of deserted homes
and domestic wrong; but, could they become acquainted
with the facts that led to such desertion and such wrong,
they would find, maybe, that their sympathies are due in
a different direction from that in which they have been
solicited. This is a lesson which will admit of much
thought, and, as the old gentleman remarked when he
laced the boy's shoulders with an ox-goad, we hope it
will do good.