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Horace in London

Consisting of imitations of the first two books of the odes of Horace. By the authors of the rejected addresses, or the new theatrum poetarum [Horace and James Smith]
Smith, Horace (1779-1849)

collapse sectionI. 
BOOK I.
 I. 
ODE I. To John Bull, Esq.
 II. 
ODE II. HURLY BURLY!
 III. 
ODE III. THE BARONET'S YACHT.
 IV. 
ODE IV. BRIGHTON.
 V. 
ODE V. THE JILT.
 VI. 
ODE VI. WALTER SCOTT.
 VII. 
ODE VII. THE OUSTED TREASURER.
 VIII. 
ODE VIII. To HUNTINGDON, the Preacher.
 IX. 
ODE IX. WINTER.
 X. 
ODE X. TRIBUTARY STANZAS to GRIMALDI THE CLOWN.
 XI. 
ODE XI. FORTUNE TELLING.
 XII. 
ODE XII. To Emanuel Swedenborg.
 XIII. 
ODE XIII. THE JEALOUS LOVER.
 XIV. 
ODE XIV. To Mr. KEMBLE,
 XV. 
ODE XV. THE PARTHENON.
 XVI. 
ODE XVI. The EDINBURGH REVIEWERS.
 XVII. 
ODE XVII. THE WELCH COTTAGE.
 XVIII. 
ODE XVIII. MERRY AND WISE.
 XIX. 
ODE XIX. PLEASING PETULANCE.
 XX. 
ODE XX. THE BARD'S BANQUET.
 XXII. 
ODE XXII. THE BAILIFF.
 XXIII. 
ODE XXIII. CUPID'S INVITATION.
 XXIV. 
ODE XXIV. HORNE TOOKE's EPITAPH.
 XXV. 
ODE XXV. MY GODWIN!
 XXVI. 
ODE XXVI. THE STRAW BONNET.
 XXVII. 
ODE XXVII. THE BUMPER TOAST.
 XXVIII. 
ODE XXVIII. LUCRETIUS AND DR. BUSBY.
 XXIX. 
ODE XXIX. The TERMAGANT.
 XXX. 
ODE XXX. PRIVATE BOXES.
 XXXI. 
ODE XXXI. TO APOLLO.
 XXXII. 
ODE XXXII. To the COMIC MUSE.
 XXXIII. 
ODE XXXIII. CROSS PURPOSES.
 XXXIV. 
ODE XXXIV. CŒLEBS IN SEARCH OF A WIFE.
 XXXV. 
ODE XXXV.
 XXXVI. 
ODE XXXVI. THE GAOL DELIVERY.
 XXXVII. 
ODE XXXVII. LOB'S POUND.
 XXXVIII. 
ODE XXXVIII. THE BILL OF FARE.
collapse sectionII. 
BOOK II.
 I. 
ODE I. THE FIRST O. P. WAR.
 II. 
ODE II.
 III. 
ODE III. PHILOSOPHIC ENJOYMENT.
 IV. 
ODE IV. THE ACTRESS.
 V. 
ODE V. THE UNFLEDGED MUSE.
 VI. 
ODE VI. THE CLASSIC VILLA.
 VII. 
ODE VII. AN OLD ACQUAINTANCE.
 VIII. 
ODE VIII. To Mrs. MARY ANNE CLARKE.
 IX. 
ODE IX. THE YOUNG WIDOW.
 X. 
ODE X. TO ROMEO,
 XI. 
ODE XI. The QUIDNUNC.
 XII. 
ODE XII. MISS PUFF.
 XIII. 
ODE XIII. The STOCK JOBBER'S LAMENT.
 XIV. 
ODE XIV.
 XV. 
ODE XV. NEW BUILDINGS.
 XVI. 
ODE XVI. WIT ON THE WING.
 XVII. 
ODE XVII. PENNY WISE AND POUND FOOLISH.
 XVIII. 
ODE XVIII. THE UNANSWERABLE QUERY.
 XIX. 
ODE XIX. COBBETT.
 XX. 
ODE XX. THE LYRICAL LACKEY.

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127

ODE VI. THE CLASSIC VILLA.

Septimi, Gades aditure mecum.

Muse, at whose gate I've oft times knock'd,
In fancy's dream thy charms caressing;
Whose maid my dignity has shock'd
As oft, by answering, Sir, she's dressing.
O'er my last lay thy gold dust shake,
A guinea for each line I spin is
The lowest farthing I can take;
The whole will cost three thousand guineas.
Then let me write from youth to age,
And when the critics dub me Crassus,
With a low bow I'll quit the stage,
And sport a villa near Parnassus.
128

Safe from adversity's attacks,
There let me quaff from Phœbus' chalice,
In a snug house, like trusty Mac's,
Adjoining to my sovereign's palace.
But if the envious fates refuse,
And dub my tuneful swan a raven,
Pack thy portmanteau, injured muse,
And seek with me Britannia's haven.
A lane near Cripplegate extends,
Grub Street 'tis call'd, the London Pindus,
Where, but that Bards are seldom friends,
Bards might shake hands from adverse windows.
There Thyrsis tunes his oaten reed,
(Nought oaten else to make him merry)
There grave Virginia smokes her weed,
And Juniper distils his berry.
All loftier tenants I discard,
I soar to catch Apollo's favour;
The attic floor shall prop the bard,
And attic salt his porridge savour.
129

And when the poet's goal I reach,
With body lean and tunic shabby,
Chaunt, widow'd muse, my dying speech,
And shroud my ashes in the abbey.
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