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Horace in London

Consisting of imitations of the first two books of the odes of Horace. By the authors of the rejected addresses, or the new theatrum poetarum [Horace and James Smith]
Smith, Horace (1779-1849)

collapse sectionI. 
BOOK I.
 I. 
ODE I. To John Bull, Esq.
 II. 
ODE II. HURLY BURLY!
 III. 
ODE III. THE BARONET'S YACHT.
 IV. 
ODE IV. BRIGHTON.
 V. 
ODE V. THE JILT.
 VI. 
ODE VI. WALTER SCOTT.
 VII. 
ODE VII. THE OUSTED TREASURER.
 VIII. 
ODE VIII. To HUNTINGDON, the Preacher.
 IX. 
ODE IX. WINTER.
 X. 
ODE X. TRIBUTARY STANZAS to GRIMALDI THE CLOWN.
 XI. 
ODE XI. FORTUNE TELLING.
 XII. 
ODE XII. To Emanuel Swedenborg.
 XIII. 
ODE XIII. THE JEALOUS LOVER.
 XIV. 
ODE XIV. To Mr. KEMBLE,
 XV. 
ODE XV. THE PARTHENON.
 XVI. 
ODE XVI. The EDINBURGH REVIEWERS.
 XVII. 
ODE XVII. THE WELCH COTTAGE.
 XVIII. 
ODE XVIII. MERRY AND WISE.
 XIX. 
ODE XIX. PLEASING PETULANCE.
 XX. 
ODE XX. THE BARD'S BANQUET.
 XXII. 
ODE XXII. THE BAILIFF.
 XXIII. 
ODE XXIII. CUPID'S INVITATION.
 XXIV. 
ODE XXIV. HORNE TOOKE's EPITAPH.
 XXV. 
ODE XXV. MY GODWIN!
 XXVI. 
ODE XXVI. THE STRAW BONNET.
 XXVII. 
ODE XXVII. THE BUMPER TOAST.
 XXVIII. 
ODE XXVIII. LUCRETIUS AND DR. BUSBY.
 XXIX. 
ODE XXIX. The TERMAGANT.
 XXX. 
ODE XXX. PRIVATE BOXES.
 XXXI. 
ODE XXXI. TO APOLLO.
 XXXII. 
ODE XXXII. To the COMIC MUSE.
 XXXIII. 
ODE XXXIII. CROSS PURPOSES.
 XXXIV. 
ODE XXXIV. CŒLEBS IN SEARCH OF A WIFE.
 XXXV. 
ODE XXXV.
 XXXVI. 
ODE XXXVI. THE GAOL DELIVERY.
 XXXVII. 
ODE XXXVII. LOB'S POUND.
 XXXVIII. 
ODE XXXVIII. THE BILL OF FARE.
collapse sectionII. 
BOOK II.
 I. 
ODE I. THE FIRST O. P. WAR.
 II. 
ODE II.
 III. 
ODE III. PHILOSOPHIC ENJOYMENT.
 IV. 
ODE IV. THE ACTRESS.
 V. 
ODE V. THE UNFLEDGED MUSE.
 VI. 
ODE VI. THE CLASSIC VILLA.
 VII. 
ODE VII. AN OLD ACQUAINTANCE.
 VIII. 
ODE VIII. To Mrs. MARY ANNE CLARKE.
 IX. 
ODE IX. THE YOUNG WIDOW.
 X. 
ODE X. TO ROMEO,
 XI. 
ODE XI. The QUIDNUNC.
 XII. 
ODE XII. MISS PUFF.
 XIII. 
ODE XIII. The STOCK JOBBER'S LAMENT.
 XIV. 
ODE XIV.
 XV. 
ODE XV. NEW BUILDINGS.
 XVI. 
ODE XVI. WIT ON THE WING.
 XVII. 
ODE XVII. PENNY WISE AND POUND FOOLISH.
 XVIII. 
ODE XVIII. THE UNANSWERABLE QUERY.
 XIX. 
ODE XIX. COBBETT.
 XX. 
ODE XX. THE LYRICAL LACKEY.

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112

ODE XXXVIII. THE BILL OF FARE.

Persicos odi puer apparatus.

Here, Waiter, I'll dine in this box,
I've look'd at your long bill of fare;
A Pythagorean it shocks
To view all the rarities there.
I'm not overburthen'd with cash,
Roast beef is the dinner for me;
Then why should I eat calipash,
Or why should I eat calipee?
113

Your trifle's no trifle, I ween,
To customers prudent as I am;
Your peas in December are green,
But I'm not so green as to buy 'em.
With ven'son I seldom am fed—
Go bring me the sirloin, you ninny;
Who dines at a guinea a head
Will ne'er by his head get a guinea.
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