 | Incidents in the life of a slave girl |  |
XXXIII.
A HOME FOUND.
My greatest anxiety now was to obtain employment.
My health was greatly improved, though my limbs continued
to trouble me with swelling whenever I walked
much. The greatest difficulty in my way was, that
those who employed strangers required a recommendation;
and in my peculiar position, I could, of course,
obtain no certificates from the families I had so faith
fully served.
One day an acquaintance told me of a lady who
wanted a nurse for her babe, and I immediately applied
for the situation. The lady told me she preferred
to have one who had been a mother, and accustomed
to the care of infants. I told her I had nursed two
babes of my own. She asked me many questions, but,
to my great relief, did not require a recommendation
from my former employers. She told me she was an
English woman, and that was a pleasant circumstance
to me, because I had heard they had less prejudice
against color than Americans entertained. It was
agreed that we should try each other for a week. The
trial proved satisfactory to both parties, and I was engaged
for a month.
The heavenly Father had been most merciful to me in
leading me to this place. Mrs. Bruce was a kind and
gentle lady, and proved a true and sympathizing friend.
Before the stipulated month expired, the necessity of
to swell so painfully, that I became unable to perform
my duties. Many ladies would have thoughtlessly discharged
me; but Mrs. Bruce made arrangements to
save me steps, and employed a physician to attend upon
me. I had not yet told her that I was a fugitive slave.
She noticed that I was often sad, and kindly inquired
the cause. I spoke of being separated from my children,
and from relatives who were dear to me; but I
did not mention the constant feeling of insecurity which
oppressed my spirits. I longed for some one to confide
in; but I had been so deceived by white people, that I
had lost all confidence in them. If they spoke kind
words to me, I thought it was for some selfish purpose.
I had entered this family with the distrustful feelings
I had brought with me out of slavery; but ere six
months had passed, I found that the gentle deportment
of Mrs. Bruce and the smiles of her lovely babe were
thawing my chilled heart. My narrow mind also began
to expand under the influences of her intelligent conversation,
and the opportunities for reading, which were
gladly allowed me whenever I had leisure from my duties.
I gradually became more energetic and more cheerful.
The old feeling of insecurity, especially with regard
to my children, often threw its dark shadow across my
sunshine. Mrs. Bruce offered me a home for Ellen;
but pleasant as it would have been, I did not dare to
accept it, for fear of offending the Hobbs family. Their
knowledge of my precarious situation placed me in
their power; and I felt that it was important for me to
keep on the right side of them, till, by dint of labor
and economy, I could make a home for my children.
She was not well cared for. She sometimes came to
New York to visit me; but she generally brought a
request from Mrs. Hobbs that I would buy her a pair
of shoes, or some article of clothing. This was accompanied
by a promise of payment when Mr. Hobbs's
salary at the Custom House became due; but some how
or other the pay-day never came. Thus many dollars
of my earnings were expended to keep my child comfortably
clothed. That, however, was a slight trouble,
compared with the fear that their pecuniary embarrassments
might induce them to sell my precious young
daughter. I knew they were in constant communication
with Southerners, and had frequent opportunities to do
it. I have stated that when Dr. Flint put Ellen in jail, at
two years old, she had an inflammation of the eyes, occasioned
by measles. This disease still troubled her;
and kind Mrs. Bruce proposed that she should come to
New York for a while, to be under the care of Dr.
Elliott, a well known oculist. It did not occur to me
that there was any thing improper in a mother's making
such a request; but Mrs. Hobbs was very angry, and
refused to let her go. Situated as I was, it was not
politic to insist upon it. I made no complaint, but I
longed to be entirely free to act a mother's part towards
my children. The next time I went over to Brooklyn,
Mrs. Hobbs, as if to apologize for her anger, told me
she had employed her own physician to attend to Ellen's
eyes, and that she had refused my request because she
did not consider it safe to trust her in New York. I
accepted the explanation in silence; but she had told
me that my child belonged to her daughter, and I suspected
her property away from her. Perhaps I did her injustice;
but my knowledge of Southerners made it
difficult for me to feel otherwise.
Sweet and bitter were mixed in the cup of my life, and
I was thankful that it had ceased to be entirely bitter.
I loved Mrs. Bruce's babe. When it laughed and crowed
in my face, and twined its little tender arms confidingly
about my neck, it made me think of the time
when Benny and Ellen were babies, and my wounded
heart was soothed. One bright morning, as I stood at
the window, tossing baby in my arms, my attention was
attracted by a young man in sailor's dress, who was
closely observing every house as he passed. I looked
at him earnestly. Could it be my brother William?
It must be he — and yet, how changed! I placed the
baby safely, flew down stairs, opened the front door,
beckoned to the sailor, and in less than a minute I was
clasped in my brother's arms. How much we had to
tell each other! How we laughed, and how we cried,
over each other's adventures! I took him to Brooklyn,
and again saw him with Ellen, the dear child whom he
had loved and tended so carefully, while I was shut up
in my miserable den. He staid in New York a week.
His old feelings of affection for me and Ellen were as
lively as ever. There are no bonds so strong as those
which are formed by suffering together.
| Incidents in the life of a slave girl | |