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XXXVIII. RENEWED INVITATIONS TO GO SOUTH.
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Page 279

XXXVIII.
RENEWED INVITATIONS TO GO SOUTH.

We had a tedious winter passage, and from the
distance spectres seemed to rise up on the shores of
the United States. It is a sad feeling to be afraid of
one's native country. We arrived in New York safely,
and I hastened to Boston to look after my children. I
found Ellen well, and improving at her school; but
Benny was not there to welcome me. He had been
left at a good place to learn a trade, and for several
months every thing worked well. He was liked by
the master, and was a favorite with his fellow-apprentices;
but one day they accidentally discovered a fact
they had never before suspected — that he was colored!
This at once transformed him into a different being.
Some of the apprentices were Americans, others
American-born Irish; and it was offensive to their
dignity to have a “nigger” among them, after they
had been told that he was a “nigger.” They began
by treating him with silent scorn, and finding that he
returned the same, they resorted to insults and abuse.
He was too spirited a boy to stand that, and he went
off. Being desirous to do something to support himself,
and having no one to advise him, he shipped for
a whaling voyage. When I received these tidings I
shed many tears, and bitterly reproached myself for
having left him so long. But I had done it for the
best, and now all I could do was to pray to the
heavenly Father to guide and protect him.


280

Page 280

Not long after my return, I received the following
letter from Miss Emily Flint, now Mrs. Dodge:—

“In this you will recognize the hand of your friend
and mistress. Having heard that you had gone with
a family to Europe, I have waited to hear of your
return to write to you. I should have answered the
letter you wrote to me long since, but as I could not
then act independently of my father, I knew there
could be nothing done satisfactory to you. There
were persons here who were willing to buy you and
run the risk of getting you. To this I would not consent.
I have always been attached to you, and would
not like to see you the slave of another, or have unkind
treatment. I am married now, and can protect
you. My husband expects to move to Virginia this
spring, where we think of settling. I am very anxious
that you should come and live with me. If you are
not willing to come, you may purchase yourself; but
I should prefer having you live with me. If you come,
you may, if you like, spend a month with your grandmother
and friends, then come to me in Norfolk, Virginia.
Think this over, and write as soon as possible,
and let me know the conclusion. Hoping that your
children are well, I remain you friend and mistress.”

Of course I did not write to return thanks for this
cordial invitation. I felt insulted to be thought stupid
enough to be caught by such professions.

“`Come up into my parlor,' said the spider to the fly;
`'Tis the prettiest little parlor that ever you did spy.”'

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Page 281

It was plain that Dr. Flint's family were apprised
of my movements, since they knew of my voyage to
Europe. I expected to have further trouble from
them; but having eluded them thus far, I hoped to be
as successful in future. The money I had earned, I
was desirous to devote to the education of my children,
and to secure a home for them. It seemed not only
hard, but unjust, to pay for myself. I could not possibly
regard myself as a piece of property. Moreover, I had
worked many years without wages, and during that
time had been obliged to depend on my grandmother
for many comforts in food and clothing. My children
certainly belonged to me; but though Dr. Flint had
incurred no expense for their support, he had received
a large sum of money for them. I knew the law
would decide that I was his property, and would
probably still give his daughter a claim to my children;
but I regarded such laws as the regulations of
robbers, who had no rights that I was bound to respect.

The Fugitive Slave Law had not then passed. The
judges of Massachusetts had not then stooped under
chains to enter her courts of justice, so called. I knew
my old master was rather skittish of Massachusetts. I
relied on her love of freedom, and felt safe on her soil.
I am now aware that I honored the old Commonwealth
beyond her deserts.