 | Albvmazar |  |
Act. 4.
Scene 1.
Antonio.Thus by great favour of propitious Stars,
From fearfull storms, shipwrack, and raging billows,
Mercilesse jaws of Death, am I return'd
To th'safe and quiet bosome of my Country,
And wish'd embracements of my Friends and Kindred.
The memory of these misfortunes past,
Seasons the welcome, and augments the pleasure
I shall receive of my sonne Lelio,
And daughter Flavia. So doth alloy
So the rugged forehead of a threatning Mountain,
Threatens the smoothnesse of a smiling Valley.
SCENE 2.
Cricca, Antonio.Cri.
What do I see? is not this Trincalo
Transform'd t'Antonio? tis, and so perfectly
That did the right Antonio now confront him,
I'de sweare they both were true, or both were false.
Ant.
This man admires the unexpectednesse
Of my return.
Cri.
O wondrous powre of Stars,
And skil of Art t'apply't. You that are married
May justly feare, lest this Astrologer
Cloath your wives servants in your shape, and use you
As Jupiter did Amphitrio. You that are rich,
In your own forme may lose your gold.
Ant.
Tis Cricca.
Cri.
He seems so just the man he represents,
That I dare hardly use him as I purposd.
Ant.
Cricca, well met, how fares my friend Pandolfo?
Cri.
Your friend Pandolfo? how are your means improv'd,
To stile familiarly your Masters friend?
Ant.
What sayst thou?
Cri.
That I rejoyce your Worship's safe returnd
From your late drowning. Th'Exchange hath giv'n you lost;
And all your friends worn mourning three months past.
Ant.
The danger of the shipwrack I escapt,
So desperate was, that I may truly say
I am new born, not sav'd.
Cri.
Ha, ha, ha, through what a grace
And goodly countenance the Rascall speaks:
What a grave portance; could Antonio
Himself out-do him? O you notorious villain!
Who would have thought thou couldst have thus dissembled?
Ant.
How now: a servant thus familiar? Syrrha
Use your companions so; more reverence
Becomes you better.
Cric.
As though I understood not.
Come I know all, see! this untill'd clod of earth.
Conceits his minde transform'd, as well as body.
He wrings and bites his lips for feare of laughing. Ha, ha, ha!
Ant.
Why laugh you sirra?
Cri.
To see thee chang'd
So strangely, that I cannot spy on inch
Of thy old Clownish Carkas. Ha, ha.
Ant.
Laughter proceeds
From absurd actions that are harmlesse.
Cri.
Ha, ha, ha,
Sententious Block-head.
Ant.
And y'are all advis'd
To jeast in stead of pitty. Alas! my miseries,
Dangers of death, slav'ry of cruell Moores,
And tedious journeys, might have easily altred
A stronger body; much more this decay'd vessell,
Out-worn with age, and broken by misfortunes.
Cri.
Leave your set speeches. Go to Antonio's house,
Effect your businesse. For upon my credit
Th'art so well turn'd, they dare not but accept thee.
Ant.
Where should I hope for welcome, if not there;
From my own house, children and family?
Cri.
Is't possible this Coxcombe should conceive
His minde transform'd? How gravely he continues
The countenance he began? Ha, ha. Why Blockhead?
Thinkst to deceive me too? Why Trincalo?
Ant.
I understand you not. Hands off.
Cri.
Art not thou Trincalo,
Pandolfo's man?
Ant.
I not so much as know him.
Cri.
Dar'st thou deny't to me?
Ant.
I dare, and must
To all the World, 'long as Antonio lives.
Cri.
You arrant Asse, have I not known thee serve
My Master in his Farm this thirteen yeers?
Ant.
By all the oathes that binde mens consciences
To truth, I am Antonio; and no other.
SCENE. 3.
Pandolfo, Cricca, Antonio.Pa.
What means this noise? O Cricca! what's the matter?
Cri.
Sir, here's your Farmer Trincalo, transform'd
In the true mould of old Antonio.
Pan.
Th'right eye's no liker to the left, then he
To my good neighbour. Divine Albumazar!
How I admire thy skill! just so he look't,
And thus he walkt; this is his face, his haire,
His eyes and countenance; If his voyce be like,
Then is th'Astrologer a wonder-worker.
Ant.
Signior Pandolfo, I thanke the heavens as much
To finde you well, as for my owne returne.
How does your daughter, and my love Sulpitia?
Pan.
Well, well sir.
Cri.
This is a good beginning,
How naturally the rogue dissembles it?
With what a gentle garbe, and civill grace
He speakes and lookes: How cunningly Albumazar
Hath for our purpose suted him in Barbary cloaths. Ile try him furthere: sir,
We heard you were drownd, pray you, how scap't you shipwrak?
Ant.
No sooner was I shipt for Barbary,
But faire winde follow'd, and faire weather led us.
When entred in the Scraites of Gibralter;
The heavens, and seas, and earth conspir'd against us,
The tempest tore our helme, and rent our tackels,
Broake the maine Mast, while all the sea about us
Stood up in watry Mountaines to over-whelme us.
And struck's against a Rocke, splitting the vessell
T'a thousand splinters. I with two Marriners
Swam to the Coast, where by the barbarous Moores
We were surpriz'd, fetter'd and sold for slaves.
Cri.
This tale th'Astrologer pen'd, and he hath cond it.
Ant.
But by a Gentleman of Italy
Whom I had knowne before.
Pan.
No more, this tast
Proves thou canst play the rest. For this faire story;
My hand I make thy ten pound, twenty Markes.
Thou lookst and speakst so like Antonio.
Ant.
Whom should I looke and speake like, but my selfe?
Cri.
Good still!
Pan.
But now my honest Trincalo,
Tell me where's all the Plate, the gold, and Iewels,
Committed to thy charge? are they safe lockt?
Ant.
I understand you not.
Pan.
The jewels man,
The plate and gold th'Arologer that chang'd thee
Bad thee lay up?
Ant.
What plate? what gold?
What jewels? what transformation? what Astrologer?
Cri.
Leave off Antonio now, and speak like Trincalo.
An.
Leave off your jesting; it neither fits your place
Nor age, Pandolfo, to scoffe your ancient friend.
I know not what you mean by gold and jewels,
Nor by th'Arologer, nor Trincalo.
Cri.
Better and better still. Beleeve me sir,
He thinks himselfe Antonio, and ever shall be.
And so possesse your plate. Art thou not Trincalo
My Masters Farmer?
An.
I am Antonio
Your Masters friend, if he teach you no more manners.
Pan.
Humour of wiving's gone; farewell good Flavia.
Three thousand pound must not be lost so slightly.
Come sir, wee'l draw you to th'Astrologer,
And turn you to your ragged bark of Yeomanry:
An.
To me these terms!
Pan.
Come ile not lose my plate.
Cri.
Stay, sir, and take my counsell. Let him still
Firmly conceit himselfe the man he seems:
Thus he himself deceiv'd, will farre more earnestly
Effect your businesse, and deceive the rest.
There's a mayn difference twixt a self-bred action
And a forst carriage. Suffer him then to enter
Antonio's house: and waite th'euent: for him
He cannot scape: what you intend to do,
Do't when 'has seru'd your turne. I see the maide,
Lets hence lest they suspect our consultations.
Pan.
Thy counsels good: away!
Cri.
Looke Trincalo
Yonder's your beauteous mistresse Armellina,
And daughter Flauia. Courage, I warrant thee.
An.
Blest be the heav'ns? that rid me of this trouble.
For with their Farmer and Astrologer,
Plate, and gold, the 'aue almost madded me.
SCENE. 4.
Flavia, Armellina, Antonio.Fla.
Armellina.
Arm.
Mistris.
Fla.
Is the dore fast?
Ar.
Yes, as an Usurers purse.
Fla.
Come hither wench
Look here, there's Trincalo, Pandolfoes Farmer,
Wrapt in my fathers shape: prithee come quickly,
And help me to abuse him.
Ar.
Notorious Clown?
An.
These are my gates, and that's the Cabinet
That keeps my jewels, Lelio, and his sister.
Fla.
Never was villany so personate
In seemly properties of gravity.
An.
Tick, tock.
Fla.
Who is he that knocks so boldly?
Ar.
What want you, sir.
An.
O my faire daughter Flavia! Let all the Stars
Powre down full blessings on thee: Ope the doores.
Fla.
Mark! his faire daughter Flavia, ha, ha, ha:
Most shamelesse villain how he counterfeits!
An.
Know'st not thy father, old Antonio,
Is all the world grown frantick?
Fla.
What Antonio?
An.
Thy loving father, Flavia.
Fla.
My father!
Would thou wert in his place. Antonio's dead,
Dead, under water was drownd.
An.
Then dead and drownd
Am I.
Fla.
I love not to converse with dead men.
An.
Open the doore sweet Flavia.
Fla.
Sir, I am afeard;
Horrour incloses me, my haire stands up,
I sweat to heare a dead man speak, you smell
Of putrifaction: fie! I feel't hither.
An.
Th'art much abus'd, I live: come down, and know me.
Ar.
Mistris let me have some sport too. Who's there?
An.
Let me come in.
Ar.
Soft, soft sir, y'are too hasty.
An.
Quickly, or else—
Ar.
Good word, good words, I pray
In strangers houses! were the doores your own,
You might be bolder.
An.
Ile beat the doores and windows
About your eares.
Ar.
Are you so hot? wee'l coole you.
Since your late drowning, your gray and reverent head
This is to wash it.
An.
Impudent whore!
Ar.
Out Carter:
Hence durty whipstock, hence you foule clown: be gone,
Or all the water I can make, or borrow,
Shall once more drown you.
SCENE 5.
Lelio, Antonio, Armellina.Le.
Armellina ; whom do you draw your tōgue upon so sharply?
Ar.
Sir tis your fathers ghost, that strives by force
To break the doores and enter.
Le.
This his grave look!
In every lineament himselfe no liker.
Had I not haply been advertized,
What could have forc'd me think 'twere Trincalo:
Doubtlesse, th'Astrologer hath raisd a ghost
That walks in th'reverend ghost of my dead father.
An.
These ghosts, these Trincalo's, and Astrologers,
Strike me beside my selfe. Who will receive me
When mine own sonne refuseth? Oh Antonio!
Le.
Infinite power of Art! who would believe
The Planets influence could transforme a man
To severall shapes: I could now beat him soundly?
But that he weares the awfull countenance
Of my dead father, whose memory I reverence.
An.
If I be chang'd beyond thy knowledge, sonne,
Consider that th'excesse of heat in Barbary,
The feare of shipwrack, and long tedious journies,
Have tand my skin, and shrunk my eyes and cheeks;
Yet still this face, though alterd, may be known.
This skarre bears witnesse, twas the wound thou cur'dst
With thine own hands.
Le.
He that chang'd Trincalo
T'Antonio's figure, omitted not the skarre
As a mayn character.
An.
I have no other marks
Or reasons to perswade thee; me thinks, this word
I am thy father, were argument sufficient
Le.
A sudden coldnesse strikes me, my tender heart
Beats with compassion of I know not what.
Sirra be gone, trusse up your goodly speeches,
Sad shipwracks, and strange transformations.
Your plot's discovered, 'twill not take: thy impudence
For once I pardon. The pious reverence
I owe to th'grave resemblance of my father
Holds back my angry hands. Hence, if I catch you
Haunting my doores again, ile bastinado you
Out of Antonio's skin; away.
An.
I go sir,
And yield to such crosse fortune as thus drives me.
SCENE 6.
Trincalo and Beuilona dressing him.Tri.
When this transformed substance of my carcasse
Did live imprison'd in a wanton hogshead,
My name was Don Antonio, and that title
Preserv'd my life, and chang'd my suite of clothes.
How kindly the good Gentlewoman us'd me! with what Respect
and carefull tendernesse! your Worship sir had ever a sickly constitution,
and I feare much more now since your long travaile: as
you love me, off with these wet things, and put on the suite you left
with me before you went to Barbary. Good sir neglect not your
health: for upon my Experience there is nothing worse for the
Rheume, then to be drench't in a musty Hogshead. Pretty soul! such
another speech would have drawn off my legs and arms, as easily
as hose and doublet. Had I been Trincalo, I'de have sworn th'had
cheated. But fie! tis base and clownish to suspect, and a Gentlemans
freenesse to part with a cast suit. Now to the businesse: Ile in to my
own house, and first bestow Armellina upon Trincalo, then try
what can be done for Pandolfo: for tis a rule I wont t'observe.
First, do your own affairs, and next your Masters. This word Master
makes me doubt I am not charg'd as I should be. But al's one,
Ile venter, and doe something worthy Antonios' name while I
have it.
SCEN. 7.
Antonio, Trincalo.Ant.
Wretched Antonio, hast been preserv'd so strangely
From forraine miseries, to be wrong'd at home?
Bar'd from thy house by the scorns of thine own children?
Tri.
Tick, tock.
Ant.
But stay, there's one knocks boldly 't may be some friend.
Tri.
Tick, tock.
Ant.
Dwell you here Gentleman?
Tri.
He cals me Gentleman,
See th'vertue of good cloaths: all men salute,
Honour, respect, and reverence us.
Ant.
Yong Gentleman,
Let me without offence intreat your name,
And why you knock.
Tri.
How sirra Sawce-box, my name?
Or thou some stranger art, or grosly ignorant
That knowst not me. Ha! what art thou that ask'st it?
Ant.
Be not in choler sir.
Tri.
Befits it me,
A Gentleman of publick reputation,
To stoop so low as satisfie the questions
Of base and earthly pieces like thy selfe? What art thou? ha?
Ant.
Th'unfortunate possessor of this house.
Tri.
Thou ly'st base Sycophant, my Worship owes it.
Ant.
May be my sonne hath sold it in my absence,
Thinking me dead. How long has't call'd your Master?
Tri.
'Long as Antonio possest it.
Ant.
Which Antonio?
Tri.
Antonio, Anastasio.
Ant.
That Anastasio,
That drown'd in Barbary?
Tri.
That Anastasio,
That selfe same man am I: I scapt by swimming,
And now return to keep my former promise
Of Flavia to Pandolfo; and in exchange,
To take Sulpitia to my wife.
Ant.
All this
I intended 'fore I went: but sir, if I
Can be no other then my selfe, and you
Are that Antonio, you and I are one.
Tri.
How? one with thee? speak such another sillable,
And by the terrour of this deadly steele,
All that durst stand before't: thou diest.
Ant.
Alas
My weaknesse grown by age, and pains of travail,
Disarms my courage to defend my selfe;
I have no strength but patience.
Tri.
What art now?
Ant.
Peter, and Thomas, William, what you please.
Tri.
What boldnesse madded thee to steale my name?
Ant.
Sir, heat of wine.
Tri.
And when y'are drunk,
Is there no person to put on but mine,
To cover your intended villanies?
Ant.
But good sir, if I be not I, who am I?
Tri.
An Oxe, an Asse, a Dog.
Ant.
Strange negligence
To lose my selfe! me thinks I live and move,
Remember. Could the fearfull apprehension
Of th'ugly feare of drowning so transforme me?
Or did I die, and by Pythagoras rule,
My soule is provided of another lodging?
Tri.
Be what thou wilt, except Antonio,
'Tis death to touch that name.
Ant.
Dangers at Sea
Are pleasures, weigh'd with these home-injuries.
Was ever man thus scar'd beside himselfe?
O most unfortunate Antonio!
At Sea thou suffredst shipwrack of thy goods,
At land of thine own selfe. Antonio?
Or what name else they please? flie, flie to Barbary,
And rather there endure the forraigne crueltie
Of fetters, whips, and Moores, then here at home
Be wrong'd and baffled by thy friends and children.
Tri.
How? prating still? why Timothy begone,
Or draw, and lay Antonio down betwixt us,
Let fortune of the fight decide the question.
Here's a brave Rogue, that in the Kings high-way
Offers to rob me of my good name. Draw.
Ant.
These wrongs recall my strength, I am resolv'd,
Better die once, then suffer always. Draw.
Tri.
Stay, understandst thou well nice points of duell?
Art born of gentle bloud, and pure descent?
Bastard, or bastinado'd? is thy pedigree
As long, as wide as mine? For otherwise
Thou wert most unworthy; and 'twere losse of honour
In me to fight. More, I have drawn five teeth:
If thine stand sound, the tearms are much unequall.
And by strict laws of duell, I am excus'd
To fight on disadvantage.
Ant.
This some Asse!
Tri.
If we concurre in all, write a formall Challenge,
And bring thy Second: mean-while I make provision
Of Calais sand to fight upon securely. Ha!
SCENE 8.
Lelio, Cricca, Trincalo, Antonio.Le.
Am I awake? or do deceitfull dreams
Present to my wild fancie things I see not?
Cri.
Sir, what amazement's this? why wonder you?
Le.
See'st thou not Trincalo and Antonio?
Cri.
O strange! th'are both here.
Le.
Didst not thou informe me
That Trincalo was turnd to Antonio?
Which I beleving like a cursed sonne,
With most reproachfull threats, drove mine old Father
From his own doores; and yet rest doubtfull, whether
This be the true Antonio: may be th'Astrologer
Hath chang'd some other, and not Trincalo.
Cri.
No, feare it not: tis plain: Albumazar
Hath cheated my old master of his plate.
For here's the Farmer, as like himselfe as euer;
Onely his cloaths excepted, Trincalo!
Tri.
Cricca, where's Trincalo? doest see him here?
Cri.
Yes, and as rank an Asse as e're he was.
Tri.
Thou'rt much deceiv'd, thou neither see'st, nor know'st me.
I am transformd, transformd.
Cri.
Th'art still thy self.
Lelio, this Farmer's halfe a foole, halfe knave.
And as Pandolfo did with much intreaty
Will hardly bring the Coxcombe to himselfe,
That nere was out on't. Who art if not he?
Tri.
My name is Don Antonio, I am now going
To mine own house, to give Pandolfo Flavia,
And Armellina to his Farmer Trincalo.
How dar'st thou Cricca, but a meaner servant,
Resemble me a man of worth and worship,
To such a Clown as Trincalo, a branded foole,
An Asse, a laughing-stock to Town and Countrey?
Art not asham'd to name him with Antonio?
Le.
Do not thy actions with thy rude behaviour,
Proclaime thee what thou art?
Cri.
Notorious Clown!
Tri.
Villain, th'hast broke my shoulders.
Le.
O didst feel him?
Tri.
I with a pox.
Le.
Then th'art still Trincalo.
For hadst thou been Antonio, he had smarted.
Tri.
I feele it as I am Antonio
Cri.
Foole! who loves Armellina?
Tri.
Tis I, tis I.
Cri.
Antonio never lov'd his Kitchin-maid.
Tri.
Well I was taken for Antonio,
And in his name receiv'd ten pound in gold,
Was by his Mistris entertain'd; but thou
Envy'st my happinesse: if th'hast th'ambition
To rise as I have done, go to Albumazar,
And let him change thee to a Knight, or Lord.
Cri.
Note the strange power of strong imagination.
Tri.
A world of Engines cannot wrest my thoughts,
From being a Gentleman: I am one, and will be:
And though I be not, yet will think my selfe so:
And scorn thee Cricca, as a slave and servant.
SCENE 9.
Cricca, Lelio, Antonio.Cri.
Tis but lost labour to disswade his dulnesse,
Believe me that's your father.
Le.
When I drove him hence,
Strook me t'a deep compassion. To cleere all,
He aske one question. Signior Antonio,
What money took you when you took your Voyage?
Ant.
As I remember, fourscore and fifteen pound
In Barbary gold. Had Lucio kept his word
I had carried just a hundred.
Le.
Pardon me father;
'Twas my blinde ignorance, not want of duty,
That wrong'd you: all was intended for a Farmer,
Whom an Astrologer, they said, transform'd.
Ant.
How an Astrologer?
Le.
When you parted hence
It seems you promis'd Flavia to Pandolfo.
News of your death arriving, th'old Gentleman
Importunes me to second what you purpos'd.
Consulting therefore with my friends and kindred,
Loth my yong sister should be buried quick
I'th' grave of threescore yeares: by their advice
I fully did deny him. He chafes and storms,
And findes at length a cunning man, that promisd
To turn his Farmer to your shape: and thus
Possesse your house, and give him Flavia.
Whereof I warnd, wrongd you instead of Trincalo.
Ant.
Then hence it came they cald me Trincalo,
And talkt of an Astrologer; which names
Almost inrag'd me past my selfe and senses.
'Tis true I promisd, but have oft repented it.
And much more since he goes about to cheat me.
He must not have her, sir.
Le.
I am glad y'are so resolv'd.
And since with us, you finde that match unequall,
Let's all intreat you to bestow your daughter
Upon his sonne Eugenio.
Ant.
Sonne at your pleasure
Dispose of Flavia, with my full consent.
Le.
And as you judge him worthy your daughter Flavia,
Think no lesse of his Sulpitia.
An.
I do: and ever had desire to match
Into that family; and now I finde my selfe
Old, weak, unfit for marriage, you shall enjoy her;
Cri.
To deale with him with reason and intreaties,
Is to perswade a mad-man: for his loue
Wakes him no lesse. All speeches opposite
T'his fixt desire, and loue-corrupted iudgment,
Seeme extreame fooleries. Will he consent
To giue his daughter to your sonne and you
Deny him Flavia: Shall Eugenio
Expect or land or loue from old Pandolfo,
Being his open riuall; tis impossible.
He sought to cosen you; therefore resolue
To pay him in's owne money. Be but aduisd
By my poore counsell, and one stroke shall cut
The root of his designes, and with his arrows
Strike his owne plot so dead, that Albumazar,
With all his stars and instruments, shall neuer
Give it fresh motion.
Ant.
Cricca, to thy direction
We yeeld our selues, manage vs at thy pleasure.
Le.
Speake quickly Cricca.
Cri.
The ground of all this busines,
Is to catch Trincalo, and locke him fast
Till I release him: next, that no man whisper
Th'least word of your return. Then will I home,
And with a cheerfull look tell my old Master,
That Trincalo—but stay, look where he comes,
Let's in, and there at leasure ile informe you
From point to point. Lelio, detain him here,
Till I send Armellina down to second you.
Crosse him in nothing, call him Antonio,
And good enough.
Le.
Feare not, let me alone.
SCENE. 10.
Trincalo, Lelio.Tri.
This rascall Cricca with his arguments
Of malice, so disturbs my gentle thoughts,
That I half doubt I am not what I seeme:
In at Antonioes house, I am Antonio.
Lel.
Signior Antonio my most loving father?
Blest be the day and houre of your return.
Tri.
Sonne Lelio? a blessing on my child, I pray thee tell me,
How fares my servant Armellina? well?
Lel.
Have you forgot my sister Flavia?
Tri.
What my deare daughter Flavia? no, but first
Call Armellina: for this day wee'l celebrate
A Gleek of Marriages: Pandolfo and Flavia,
Sulpitia and my selfe, and Trincalo
With Armellina. Call her, good Lelio, quickly.
Lel.
I will sir.
Tri.
So: this is well that Lelio
Confesseth me his father. Now I am perfect,
Perfect Antonio.
SCENE. 11.
Armellina, Trincalo.Arm.
Signior Antonio!
My long expected Master!
Tri.
O Armellina!
Come let me kisse thy brow like my own daughter.
Arm.
Tis too great a favour. I kisse your foot.
What faln? Alas! how feeble you are grown,
With your long travell?
Tri.
True, and being drownd,
Nothing so griv'd me, as to lose thy company.
But since I am safe return'd, for thy good service
Ile help thee to a husband.
Arm.
A husband, sir?
Some young and lusty youth, or else ile none.
Tri.
To one that loves thee dearely, dearely wench:
A goodly man, like me in limbs and fashion.
Arm.
Fie, an old man? how? cast my selfe away,
And be no nurse but his?
Tri.
He's not like me
In yeers and gravity, but fair proportion.
A hansome well-set man as I.
Arm.
His name?
Tri.
Tis Tom Trincalo of Totnam.
Arm.
Signior Pandolfo's lusty Farmer?
Tri.
That's he.
Most unexpected happinesse! tis the man,
I more esteem then my own life: sweet Master
Procure that match, and think me satisfied
For all my former service without wages.
But aj I feare you jest. My poore unworthinesse
Hopes not so great a fortune as sweet Trincalo.
No wretched Armellina, in and despaire:
Back to thy mournfull Dresser; there lament
Thy selfe to Kitchin-stuffe, and bones to ashes,
Eor love of thy sweet Farmer.
Tri.
Alas poore soule,
How prettily she weeps for me! Wilt see him?
Arm.
My soule waits in my eys, and leaves my body
Senselesse.
Tri.
Then sweare to keep my counsell.
Ar.
I sweare
By th'beauteous eys of Trincalo.
Tri.
Why I am Trincalo.
Arm.
Your worship sir! why do yon flout your servant,
Right worshipfull Antonio, my reverend Master?
Tri.
Pox of Antonio, I am Tom Trincalo.
Why laugh'st thou?
Arm.
Tis desire and joy,
To see my sweetest.
Tri.
Look upon me and see him.
Arm.
I say see Antonio, and none other.
Tri.
I am within, thy love; without, thy Master.
Th'Astrologer transformd me for a day.
Arm.
Mock not your poore Maid, pray you sir.
Tri.
I do not.
Now would I break this head against the stones,
To be unchang'd; fie on this Gentry, it sticks
Like Bird-lime, or the Pox. I cannot part with't.
Within, I am still thy Farmer Trincalo.
Arm.
Then must I wait, till old Antonio
Be brought to bed of a faire Trincalo;
Or flea you, and strip you to your self again.
Tri.
Carry me to your chamber. Try me there.
Arm.
O sir by no means: but with my lovely Farmer
Ide stay all night and thank him.
Tri.
Crosse misfortune!
Accurst Albumazar! and mad Pandolfo!
To change me thus, that when I most desire
To be my selfe, I cannot. Armellina
Fetch me a Looking-glasse.
Arm.
To what end?
Tri.
Fetch one.
This sweet occasion must not be neglected.
Now shall I know th'Astrologers skil: O wonderfull!
Admir'd Albumazar in two transmutations:
Here's my old Farmers face. How in an instant
I am unchang'd that was so long a changing. Here's my flat nose again &c.
Now Armellina take thy lov'd Trincalo
To thy desired embracements, use thy pleasure,
Kisse thy belly full.
Arm.
Not here in publick.
T'enjoy too soon what pleaseth, is upleasant:
The World, would envy that my happinesse.
Go in, ile follow you, and in my Bed-hamber
Wee'l consummate the match in privacy.
Tri.
Was not the face I wore farre worse then this?
But for thy comfort, Wench, Albumazar
Hath died my thoughts so deep i'th' grain of Gentry,
Tis not a glasse can rob me of my good fashion,
And Gentlemanly garbe. Follow my deare.
Arm.
Ile follow you. So now y'are fast enough.
Tri.
Help Armellina, help, I am falne i'th' cellar:
Bring a fresh Plantane leafe, I have broke my shin.
Arm.
Thus have I caught me a husband in a trap,
An in good earnest meant to marry him.
Tis a tough Clown and lusty: he works day and night;
And rich enough for me, that have no portion
But my poore service. Well she's something foolish;
The better can I dominere, and rule him
At pleasure. That's the marke and utmost height
We women ayme at. I am resolv'd; Ile have him.
SCENE. 12.
Lelio. Cricca.Lel.
In Armellina, lock up Trincalo.
Arm.
I will sir.
Le.
Cricca, for this thy counsell, if' succeed,
Feare not thy Masters anger: Ile preferre thee
Cri.
It cannot chuse but take. I know his humour;
And can at pleasure feather him with hopes,
Making him flie what pitch I wish, and stoop
When I shew fowle.
Le.
But for the suite of cloaths?
Cri.
Ile throw them o're your garden wall. Away.
Haste to Eugenio and Sulpitia,
Acquaint them with the businesse.
Le.
I go.
SCENE. 13.
Lelio. Sulpitia.Le.
The hopefull issue of thy counsell, Cricca,
Brightens this ev'ning, and makes it more excell
The cleerest day, then a gray morning doth
The blindest midnight, raising my amorous thoughts
To such a pitch of joy, that riches, honour,
And other pleasures, to Sulpitia's love,
Appeare like Mole-hils to the Moon.
Sul.
Lelio?
Le.
O there's the voice that in one note contains
All cords of Musick: how gladly shee'l imbrace
The newes I give her, and the messenger.
Sul.
Soft, Soft y'are much mistaken; for in earnest,
I am angry Lelio; and with you.
Le.
Sweetest, those flames
Rise from the fire of love, and soon will quench
I'th'welcome news I bring you.
Sul.
Stand still I charge you
By th'vertue of my lips; speak not a sillable
As you expect a kisse should close my choler.
For I must chide you
Le.
O my Sulpitia,
Were euery speech a pistoll chargd with death,
I'de stand them all in hope of that condition.
Sul.
First, sir, I heare, you teach Eugenio
Too graue a warinesse in your sisters loue,
And kill his honest forwardnesse of affection
With your far-fet respects, suspitious, feares:
You haue your may-bee's; this is dangerous:
Who knowes? the event is doubtfull; be advis'd,
Tis a yong rashnesse: your father is your father:
Take leisure to consider. Thus y'have considered
Poore Flavia almost to her grave. Fye Lelio,
Had this my smalnesse undertooke the businesse,
And done no more in foure short winters daies
Than you in foure months; I'de have vowed my maiden-head
To the living Tombe of a sad Nunnery:
Which for your sake I loath.
Lel.
Sweet by your favour.
Sul.
Peace, peace: now y'are so wise, as if ye had eaten
Nothing but braines and marrow of Machiavell:
You tip your speeches with Italian Motti,
Spanish Refranes, and English Quoth Hee's. Beleeve me,
There is not a Proverbe salts your tongue, but plants
Whole colonies of white haires. O what a businesse
These hands must have when you have married me?
To picke out sentences that over-yeare you.
Lel.
Give me but leave.
Sul.
Have I a lip? and you
Made Sonets on't? tis your fault, for otherwise
Your sister and Eugenio had beene sure
Long time ere this.
Lel.
But—
Sul.
Stay, your Qu's not come yet.
I hate as perfectly this gray-greene of yours,
As old Antonio's green-gray. Fy! Wise lovers,
Are most absurd. Were I not full resolved,
I should begin to coole mine owne affection.
For shame consider well your sisters temper.
Her melancholy may much hurt her. Respect her,
Or spight of mine owne love, Ile make you stay
Sixe months before you marry me.
Lelio whispers.
Sul.
This your so happy newes? return'd, and safe?
Antonio yet alive?
Lelio whispers.
Sul.
And what then?
Lelio whispers.
Sul.
Well; all your businesse must be compassed
With winding plots, and cunning stratagems.
Looke too't: For if we be not married ere next morning,
By the great love that is hid in this small compasse,
To your eternall shame and soule discredit.
Le.
How prettily this lovely littlenesse,
In her own breath pleads her own cause, and my sisters;
Chides me, and loves. This is that pleasing temper
I more admire, then a continued sweetnesse
That over-satisfies: 'Tis salt I love, not sugar.
Finis Act. 4.
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