University of Virginia Library

Scen. 4.

Anteros, Hooke, Mistris Vrsely.
Ant.
Why so then—What againe?

Hoo.
You'l leaue your blubbering, Minion, come your waies.
You set your minde on such a man? yet more?
You might as well bee in loue with that same Sunne,
And should as soone enjoy it.

Ant.
He speakes high,
Pray heavens hee does not looke so high, for feare
He should descrie me.

Vrse.
Father, I cannot last
Out two dayes longer without Anteros.

Ant.
How's that? now all my starres be mercifull!
It is a vision sure, this cannot bee.

Hoo.
Come, you'r a foolish girle, he marry you?
That day that hee does marry you, will I
Bring backe to life all that were dead before
The universall Deluge.

Ant.
Nay, Ile helpe
You with a farre better expression, sir,
That day that hee does marry her, shall you
Become an honest man; a harder Province
Then to bring all the dead, to life againe.

Hoo.
There are a hundred reasons (daughter) why
You should not hope it, first hee hates all women,
Next if he did not, you that are deform'd,
Lame, and mishapen, blacke, besides, ill manner'd.—

Ant.
(Hee does not see the wallet on her back.)
Haue the lest cause to hope.

Vrs.
But there are (father)
Sixe hundred reasons, why I should loue him.
His manly carriage, his full breasts, his hayre,
And his fine cloathes, his golden breeches, and—

Ant.
His traiterous nose: I, I, 'tis that I know,
'Tis like the Ivy-bush vnto a Taverne,
Which tells vs there is Wine within; but I
Will take an order with you Sir e're long,
And haue you par'd.

Vrs.
Well I will neuer leaue
My crying (that's resolu'd) vntill I see him.

Ant.
O! Could I commit a crime e're I was made,
'Gainst nature worthy such a punishment?
It is decreed, I will vnman my selfe, immediately.

Hoo.
What shall I doe? tis strange—
Well,'t must be so: I will goe seeke Terpander,
And mooue him to this match: most of his lands
I haue in mortgage, nay indeed they are
Forfeited to me, for the day is past
Wherein hee was bound to pay in the money,
The' advantage of this forfeiture, will I
Threaten to take, vnlesse hee does compell,
His sonne to take my daughter, to his wife.
Nay, rather then I will bee disappointed,
Hee for a portion, shall haue in his bonds,
Come daughter, bee of comfort, wee will goe
Directly to Terpander, where I'le vse
Such arguments, as shall enforce him make
His sonne both loue, and marry you.

Exeunt.
Ant.
Like enough.
'Tis very likely Sir, but that this tree
Does not afford any such fruit, I'd throw
He comes downe.
An old shooe after you,—such arguments
As shall enforce him make his sonne, both loue,
And marry you—well how his pills may worke
Which the old man, I know not: for my selfe
I will prouide a quicke deliuerance.
VVhy sheepheard? Stipes? [tic toc:] now I must, and will
Goe forward in this plot, of my disguise.