University of Virginia Library

“Tis not, my lord, in such a case,
My learned adversary's place
To say if Canis, thus assail'd
By artful lust, in duty fail'd;
Or if be fell, to what extent,
Through error's giddy maze he went:
The case was to his flock submitted,
By whom he fairly was acquitted.
'Tis for the jury to enquire,
(Not his intention or desire,
But, leaving every other fault)
Whether he's guilty of assault
And battery upon the goat;
And if so, whether she, or not,
Consented to't....if that's the case,
The Dog's acquittal must take place.
The point for your investigation
Is, whether Capra gave occasion,
Or to defendant made advances.
But still my noble lord, the chance is,
That our opponent's learned chatter
May load the case with foreign matter,
And other things connect and join,
Entangled like a twisted vine.
But, honored jurors, I've no doubt you
All will have your wits about you.
And hold the power within your brain,
To ravel out the knotty skein.
You've but to stick to these two things
From which the whole contention springs;
Two points for your enquiry fitted....
Firstly, was the fact committed?
Secondly, this being so,
Was it against her will, or no?
But we are ready to support,
Such stubborn facts before the court,
As will convince a beast of feeling,
The plaintiff never was unwilling.
We'll prove that, by her own confession,
She always itch'd for such transgression;
And that, if prest by any beast,
The goat was passive, say the least.
And if your honors we acquaint,
That since the date of her complaint,
As well as months and years before,
She prais'd defendant more and more;
Has wheedled, coax'd, and sought to hold him,
Has followed, flattered, and cajoled him;
Trying to draw the one from goodness
Whom she accuses now with rudeness;
In vain will she pretend to claim
A matron's chaste and honest name.