University of Virginia Library

Sce. 5.

Lively, Stipes, Constantina, Merda.
Sti.
Why quickly Merda, bring me a chaire out quickly.—
O O you villaine.—Why when?—So, so go to, go to,
Tarry you still my daughter,
That you may heare some of your Fathers wisedome.—
Come on you Crack-rope, what is your businesse, 'pray you,
To lurke thus in my Masters grounds? you are
A scout? one that discouers are you not?

Liue.
It is a pretty Lad, and being drest
May easilie passe for Woman. Well Ile marke

Sti.
O you're a stubborne gallowes, you will answere?

Con.
O mee vnfortunate; what shall I say?

Sti.
Heigh!
An ill yeere on you, you great Maukin you,
Merda playes with babes clouts.
Making of Puppets? one of your age and breeding?
You haue an Husband Minion? you a rodde.—
But to returne againe vnto the purpose,
Where dwell you sirrah? will you not answere me?
Come on your wayes, I'le haue you to my Master.—

Con.
Vnhappy wretch! what shall I answere him?
Nay good Sir stay, I'le tell you: oh how I tremble—

Sti.
Then quickly Sirrah.

Con.
Lest this robustious Clowne
Should hale me 'fore my Vncle in this habit.

Sti.
What's that you mutter on? you haue a tricke
To say your prayers backwards? haue you not?

Liue.
This Lad is mine, I'le take him from the Sheepheard.

Con.
Not farre from hence I had both friends and parents.
(Howsoeuer now I want) but cruell Fates
Haue enuied them their liues, and me my friends.

Liue.
It shall be so, I'le make a contract straight
Betwixt Neander and this Boy. Now Stipes,
God saue you.

Sti.
Salve Domine. But why put you your Sickle
Into my Haruest thus? go to, go to,
You're troublesome—well Sirrah.

Liue.
Well Sirrah? Slaue,
Thou vnpollish'd piece of clay, how dar'st thou thus
Vncivilly vse a young Gentleman
Whose friends and kindred I haue knowne to bee
VVorthy of more respect then thou of scorne,
VVhich both come neare to infinite?

Sti.
Very good.
And doe you know his friends and kindred then?

Liue.
VVould thou didst know thy betters halfe so well,
Vntutourd dunghill.—In what state you sit?
He ouerthrowes Stipes, chaire & al.
Stand vp, or else Ile make thee lye for euer.

Sti.
Are you in earnest or in jest?

Liue.
How thinke you?

Stip.
You great Rigs-norton you, doe you stand still
Hee strikes her.
And see your onely Father wrong'd thus? ha?—
VVell, if I doe not fit your cap for this
(If it be made of wooll) when you tithe Lambes,
I'le neuer goe to Church more, if th'whole flocke
Has any worse then other t'shall goe hard
But some of them shall fall vnto your lot.

Con.
Alasse I doubt he knowes me
His eyes so dwell vpon me.

Liue.
Come my boy,
VVhat will you goe with me?

Con.
Thankes to my starres,
He knowes me not.

Stip.
Boy will you dwell with mee?
Thou shalt haue dumpling Boy, enough, and Bacon
Shall be so deepe in fatt, that thou maist wade
Vp to the chinne in lard: Salute your Master.

Mer.
And kisse your masters daughter that's the next
Thing you must practise.

Liue.
You his Master, Hempseed?

Mer.
Truely me thinkes I could e'ne loue this Boy
'Tis such a pretty thing; Father, I pray you
Good Father, let him dwell with vs.

Sti.
No more,
Peace, so he shall.

Liue.
Hands off you lease of Sheepe-skinnes.

Con.
No, I will dwell with this old Gentleman.

Liue.
Well said, sweet youth.

Con.
But on this condition,
That you will use me like a Gentleman
Of qualitie and worth, for I must tell you
With teares, how e're my fortunes are dejected
Now, I doe come of no meane house nor blood.

Liue.
Feare not my boy, thou shalt haue cause to thanke me:
Follow; my maids shall presently vnpage him,
And hang woman on his backe.

Con.
But I doe hope
aside
That some kind God or other will find out
Some meanes for my escape; if not (I'ue sayd it)
This hand shall make a passage for my soule
To leaue this body.

Liue.
Boy, doe you come?

Con.
I come.

Exeunt Liuely and Constan.
Merda playes with babies clouts againe.
Sti.
VVhat is he gone?—hi-day! what againe?
Let me be hang'd, my dogge and my whole Familie,
My Wife and all, I'le put her in, if I
Doe not so 'flict your buttockes Minion;
Ile breake you of this trade of making children
Before your time, if I can find a willow
VVithin a mile of an Oake.

Exit.
Mer.
VVhat shall I do? oh what shall I do? what shall I do?
My father's gone to get a rod, what shall I doe?
Oh, oh, here comes my mother.—