University of Virginia Library

SCENE II.

Enter BALLIO.
Bal.
I now begin
To think this cook less rascal than I fancied.
A tankard and a cup are all yet stolen.

Pseu.
Hist! Hark you! now's your time: a fair occasion
[aside to Simia.
Presents itself—

Sim.
To me it seems so too—

Pseu.
The way he comes, do you step slily into;
And I'll here place myself in ambuscade.

Sim.
I've kept with care the number in my head:
Sixth from the gate; this lane, the next I come to
My master bad me turn into—But then
How many houses off, I'm quite uncertain.

Bal.
[aside.]
What fellow's this!—A soldier's cloak upon him!
Whence is he?—Or whom seeks he!—By his face
He seems a foreigner; and of mean rank.

Sim.
But I see there a man will clear my doubts.

Bal.
To me he makes directly—Whence i'th'world
Can come this fellow?—

Sim.
Hark you!—You that stand
With your goat's beard there, answer me a question—

Bal.
Don't you first give me civil salutation.

Sim.
I give no gratis salutations, I.—

Bal.
By Pollux! just the same you'll have from me.

Pseu.
This the beginning is of their fair dealing.

Sim.
In this lane know you any man? I ask thee—

Bal.
Why yes; I know myself.

Sim.
Few men do that,
Which you pretend to—For you'll meet i'th'Forum,
Scarcely with one in ten who knows himself.

Pseu.
O—safe's the word—he's now philosophizing—

Sim.
I'm looking for a fellow here, a sad one,
A lawless, impious, perjur'd, wicked rogue.

Bal.
'Tis me he's seeking—These are my additions—
If he but knows my name—But what's he call'd?

[to Simia.
Sim.
Why Ballio, a procurer—

Bal.
Do I know him?
Myself am he, young man, you're looking for.

Sim.
What are you Ballio?

Bal.
Troth the very man—

Sim.
How like a housebreaker the fellow's drest?

Bal.
Were you to see me in the dark, I think
You'll scarcely meddle with me.

Sim.
Well, my master
Would that I give you many salutations—
He bad me give this letter to you—Take it—

Bal.
What man is he who bad you?

Pseu.
Quite undone!
He sticks i'th'mire: he does not know the name—
We're all aground—

Bal.
Who, guess you sent the letter?

Sim.
Look on the seal—Do you tell me his name;
That I may know you are the very Ballio—

Bal.
Give me the letter—

Sim.
Take it—And the seal
Examine well—

Bal.
O ho! I know it well—
'Tis he himself; Polymachæroplacides.

Sim.
Yes, yes: his name's Polymachæroplacides—
By this I know the letter's right deliver'd,
Since you have told his name—

Bal.
But say, how fares he?

Sim.
Why, as a stout and gallant soldier should—
But hast, I beg you hast and read the letter,
There's business in it; to receive the money,
And send me out the girl immediately—
For I must Sicyon see this day, or else
Be hang'd to-morrow—Master's such a tyrant!

Bal.
I know it true—By all the marks agreed.

Sim.
Then haste, and read—

Bal.
If you will hold your tongue.

Bal.
[reading the letter.]
“Captain Polymachæroplacides
“To the procurer Ballio sends this letter.
“With it the seal agreed upon between us.

Sim.
The token's in the letter.

Bal.
Yes, I see it,
And know the figure well—But does he never
Use any salutation in his letters?

Sim.
Ballio, that were not soldierlike—He sends
Health to his friends, but to his foes destruction.
But on as you've begun; and mark the letter.

Bal.
Do but attend then [reading.]
“He who comes to you
“Is my page Harpax”—What are you that Harpax?

[to him.
Sim.
I am—I'm Harpax self—

Bal.
[reading.]
“He who this letter
“Brings you, from him I'd have you take the money.
“By him too would I have you send Phœnicium.
“'Tis worthy to send greetings to the worthy;
“Were that the case, I had sent such to you.”

Sim.
What's to be done now?

Bal.
Why, give me the money,
And take away the girl.

Sim.
Well, which of us
Makes the delay?

Bal.
Then follow me.

Sim.
I follow—

[Exeunt.