University of Virginia Library

Had the late fam'd Lord Rochester surviv'd,
VVe'd been inform'd who all our Plots contriv'd;
Authors and Actors we had long since seen,
In sharpest Satyrs they'd recorded been,
Tho' Captain, Doctor, Lord, Duke, K**g, or Queen:
His bold and daring Muse had soar'd on high,
And brought down true Intelligence from the Sky.
He oft the Court has of its Vices told,
VVhile Priests pretend they dare not be so bold;
Tho' they're Heav'n's Messengers, it's Livery wear
Receive it's bounteous Salary, yet they dare,
Neglect their Duty, or for Gain or Fear:
Connive at what's directly opposite,
And, e're they'l give Offence, each turn a Proselyte:
VVitness the dismal Change that now is come,
Long since expected by the Church of Rome.
The Calves of Dan and Bethel bleat aloud,
And Jeroboam worships in the Crowd;
Our Upstart Statesmen turn with every VVind,
That blows from Rome, to Sense and Truth are blind.
But yet, tho' ten of our twelve Tribes shou'd fall,
And worship Dagon, Ashtaroth, and Baal;
A Remnant will remain, who firm will stand,
To God, Religion, and their Native Land;
VVho will not bow themselves to th'Romish Yoke,
Tho' they share Sydney's or brave Russel's Stroke
Nor can this Egypt's Darkness long remain,
A Star of Jesse will shine out again;
Scotch Vermine, Irish Frogs, French Locusts; All
That swarm both at Saint James's and Whitehall;
Tho' now advanc'd to all Trust, all Command,
All Offices enjoy by Sea and Land,
Shall, when this Sun doth set, no more appear
Within the Confines of our Hemisphere.
A Princely Branch remains will on us smile,
And spread its goodly Boughs quite o're the Isle;
Confirm our staggering Hopes, remove our Fears,
And turn to Balm of Gilead all our Tears;
The Church and State shall nourish as before,
Just Judges to the needful Bench restore;
And throughly purge the Judgment-Seat from those
Who make the Laws themselves the Laws Oppose.
For such there are, and in the highest Place,
VVho their Profession do so much disgrace;
That many fear their Grievance to unfold,
Where Law and Conscience both are bought and sold.
Our Pulpits too shall be adorn'd with those
VVho turn not with each Blast of VVind that blows;
VVho dare preach Truth, and dare that Truth maintain,
Not mov'd by Threatnings, Frowns, Favor, or Gain;
That dare declaim against the Sins o'th Nation,
VVhile others of that Tribe embrace the Fashion.
Nor thenceforth shall those Black Coat-Vipers come,
VVho here are daily disembogu'd from Rome;
VVhere Sins of all Kinds, and of all Degrees,
(The Church Revenues, and the Office Fees
Being discharg'd) Religiously are done,
Tho' 't be to murther Father, Brother, Son;
Ravish a Sister, with a Daughter do
VVhat Nature has a just Abhorrence to;
For which, if Purgatory or Hell you shun,
Fee the Priests largely, and your Work is done;
They're Delegates to him that keeps the Keys,
And can't admit one Soul without the Fees;
For he, as God, in Heaven and Earth has Pow'r
To Crown and to Uncrown in the same Hour;
Unmake and Make, Create and Uncreate,
To Torments after Death can give a Date;
From him proceeds inevitable Fate.
These Imps do now in Crowds each other follow,
And hope e're long Churches and Bells to hallow;
To teach you how to worship to the East,
Prescribe us Fasts, while they themselves do Feast;
Whole Loads of Reliques they have got together,
Ay, and Saint Peter's Shadow's gliding hither;
In th'Abbey shortly will be kept a Fair,
Where you may buy such consecrated Ware,
As England has not seen this hundred Year.
For 'tis not France, nor Italy, nor Spain,
That can the thousandth Part of Saints contain;
For Saints, by Canonizing, do become,
By an infallible Deception made at Rome,
Not only Omnipresent, but beside,
One into twenty thousand they divide:
The like with other Reliques they can do,
Joseph's old Coat, the Virgin Mary's Shoe;
Saint Peter's Sword, that cut off Malchus Ear;
The Hoofs o'th' silly Ass which Christ did bear;
The Right Eye of John Baptist, and the Apostle
St. Thomas's Shoulder Blade-Bone, with the Gristle;
The Virgin Mary's Milk, sold by the Quart;
Nay, th'Blood and Water, which from Jesu's Heart
Was by a Souldier let out with a Spear,
By Miracle kept 'bove sixteen hundred year:
Besides all this, more Nails to shew there be,
That fix'd our Saviour Christ unto the Tree;
Than twenty Smiths in a whole Day can make;
Yet all these for the same the Church does take.

Bless me, thought I, good Heaven! What does this mean?
Such Trumpery by me shall ne'r be seen;
No, nor the Monsters, that were nam'd before,
Altho' a Trumpet stood before the Door,
And, after dismal Sound on Ludgate-Hill,
VVhere Porcupine of you did cast his Quill;
VVhere Crocodile, Rhinoceros, and Baboon,
VVith other Prodigies are daily show'n;
Invite me in, I wou'd not stir I swear,
To see those more Prodigious—there.