University of Virginia Library

Julian , in Verse, to ease thy Wants, I write,
Not mov'd by Envy, Malice, or by Spite;
Or pleas'd with th'empty Names of Wit or Sense,
But merely to supply thy want of Pence.
This did inspire my Muse, when out at heel,
She saw her needy Secretary reel;
Griev'd that a Man so useful to the Age,
Should foot it in so mean an Equipage.
A crying Scandal! that the Fees of Sense,
Should not be able to support th'Expence
Of a poor Scribe, who never thought of Wants,
When able to procure a Cup of Nants.
But Dulness sits at Helm, and in this Age
Governs our Pulpits, Councils, and the Stage.
Here a dull Counsellor ador'd we see;
And there a Poet duller yet than he;
With beardless Bishop, dullest of the three.
'Tis dangerous to think—
For who by thinking tempts his jealous Fate,
Is strait arraign'd as Traytor to the State:
And none that come within the Verge of Sense,
Have to Preferment now the least pretence.
Nay Poets, guilty of that Treason prov'd,
Are by a general Hiss from Court remov'd.
Shakespear himself reviv'd, finds no success,
And living Authors sure must hope for less.
Since Dullness then finds more success than Wit,
This Poem, Julian, cannot chuse but hit.
But for thy Profit, Julian, have a care
Of prying Poultney, and of Bully Carr:
In them there's Danger, for the one does write
With the same Prowess, the other us'd to fight.
Next florid Huntingdon and civil Grey,
Who knew his Grace was gone, but not which way:
'Twere needless here, and tedious too to name
All that are envious of poor Poets Fame:
Consult thy sacred Volume, and thou'lt find,
Some who to Reverend Dulness have been kind:
To those obsequious cringe with humble Bow,
With Court-like Scrapes, and with submissive Brow;
Since from their num'rous Party thou may'st hope,
More than Prance, Oates or Bedlow from the Pope.
Thirsis has gain'd Preferment by a Song,
While Hudibras does starve among the Throng,
Nay, minion Shadwell cannot hold out long.

There lives a Lord, a Noble Peer is he,
Whose Conscience is as pliant as his Knee;
Whose easy Temper, by Good-nature mov'd,
Does make him universally belov'd.
He once pretended to a share of Sense;
But for that Insolence and bold Offence,
The Council wisely banish'd him from thence.
He, finding those Pretences ominous,
Is grown at length as dull as one of us.
Him make thy Friend, and if that Method fail,
Prepare thee in these following Terms to rail.

May Hewet's Billets-deux successful prove,
In tempting of her little Grace to Love:
May Anglesey think Bribery a Sin;
His Countess pull it out when it's once put in:
May Arlington his little Brat despise,
And she no more the Name of Dutchess prize:
May puzzling Howard live by Poetry,
And Cleaveland die for want of Leachery:
May Monmouth quit his Int'rest in the Crown,
Mall Howard never grin, and Nelly never frown:
May Betty Mackrel cease to be a Whore,
And Villain Frank kiss Mazarin no more.