University of Virginia Library

Two Welchmen Partners in a Cow,
Resolv'd to sell her dear;
And laid their Heads together, how
To do't at Ludlow Fair.
It was a sultry Summers Day,
When out they drove the Beast;
And having got about half way,
They sat them down to rest.
The Cow, a Creature of no Breeding,
(The Place with Grass being stor'd)
Fed by; and whilst she was a feeding,
Let fall a mighty T---.
Roger, quoth Hugh, I tell thee what,
Two Words and I have done;
If thou wilt fairly eat up that,
The Cow is all thy own.
'Tis done, quoth Roger, 'tis agreed,
And to't he went apace;
He seem'd so eager set, 'tis said,
That he forgot his Grace.
He labour'd with his wooden Spoon,
And up he slopt the Stuff;
Till, by the time that half was done,
He felt he had enough.
He felt: but scorning to look back,
Would look as if he wanted more;
And seem'd to make a fresh Attack,
With as much Vigour as before.
But stopping short a while, he cry'd,
How fares it, Neighbour Hugh?
I hope, by this, you're satisfied,
Who's Master of the Cow.
Ay, ay, quoth Hugh (the Devil choke thee,
For nothing else can do't)
I'm satisfy'd that thou hast broke me,
Unless thou wilt give out.
Give out! quoth Roger, thaa were fine;
Why, what have I been doing?
But yet I tell thee, Friend of mine,
I shall not seek thy Ruin.
My Heart now turns against such Gains;
I know th'art piteous poor,
Eat thou the half that still remains,
And 'tis as 'twas before.
God's Blessing on thy Heart, quoth Hugh,
That Proffer none can gainsay;
With that he readily fell to,
And eat his share o'th'Tansie.
Well now, quoth Hodge, w'are ev'n no doubt,
And neither side much Winner:
So had we been, quoth Hugh, without
This damn'd confounded Dinner.

Let this, both to our Wars and Peace
Be honestly apply'd;
France and th'Allies have done no less,
Than what these Welch-men did.