University of Virginia Library

SCENE II.

Enter EUBULUS, RICARDO, and UBALDO, with wands of Office.
EUBULUS.
I like the issue of this stubborn battle:
Are the officers gone as by the King directed,
To receive the gallant General?

RICARDO.
Long since, and ere this have greeted him.

EUBULUS.
You know your office, Lords, on his arrival?

UBALDO.
Who, we? oh! fear not us, my Lord, I pray,
We know our distance and degrees.

RICARDO.
The state were miserable truly, if
The court had none of her own breed familiar
With all the gaits of form and punctilio,
To receive its visitors.

UBALDO.
'Tis a great pity
That such as sit at the helm, provide no better
For the training up of the gentry:—in my judgment
An academy erected, with large pensions
To such as miraculously speak
I'th' congees, cringes, postures, and the phrase
Proper to every nation.

RICARDO.
O, it were
An admirable piece of work.

UBALDO.
And yet rich fools
Throw away their charity on hospitals
For beggars and lame soldiers, and ne'er study
The due regard to compliment, and court breeding.

EUBULUS.
Our court needs no aid this way, since it is
A school of nothing else. There are some of you
Whom I forbear to name, whose coining heads
Are the mint of all new fashions, that have done
More hurt to the kingdom by superflous foppery,
Which the foolish gentry imitate, than a war
Or a long famine; all the treasure by
This foul excess, is got into the hands of
Silk-men, tailors, and embroiderers!
Nay, the third part of the land too, our nobles
Engrossing titles only!

UBALDO.
My Lord, you are bitter.

RICARDO.
Sharp as a hoar-frost.

[A trumpet.
Enter a SERVANT.
SERVANT.
The general is alighted, and now enter'd.

RICARDO.
Were he ten generals, I am prepar'd,
And know what I will do.

UBALDO.
Pr'ythee what, Ricardo?

RICARDO.
Why, I'll fight at compliments with him.

UBALDO.
Will you? then I'll charge him too, on the same gage.

EUBULUS.
Take care, gallants, you do not find this
A more desperate service than you think for.

[Flourish.
Enter FERDINAND, EUGENIUS, and attendant Officers.
FERDINAND.
(To an Officer.)
Captain, command the Officers to keep
The troops still dress'd in rank and file,
Till they have further orders.

[Exit Officer.
EUBULUS.
Here's one speaks
In a different key! this is no canting prattle
Taught in your academy of compliments.

[To Ric. and Ubal.
FERDINAND.
Nay, I will present you to the King myself.

EUGENIUS.
That is a grace will go beyond my merit.

FERDINAND.
You undervalue what I cannot set
Too high a price on.

EUBULUS.
With a friend's true heart
I congratulate your return.

FERDINAND.
Next to the favour
Of my Prince, I'm happy in your friendship.

UBALDO.
By courtliness, coarse enough on both sides!

FERDINAND.
Pray you receive
This stranger; by our knowledge, on my credit
At all parts he deserves it.

EUBULUS.
Your report
Is a strong assurance to me.—Sir, most welcome.

EUGENIUS.
The reverence of your age commands me
To believe it.

RICARDO.
This was pretty!

UBALDO.
But now for my attack.— [apart]
—You'll second me?

RICARDO.
I cannot stoop so low, to do your Excellence
That due observance which your fortune claims.

EUBULUS.
The prig forgets his virtue and his valour.

RICARDO.
For being, as you are, the soul of soldiers,
And bulwark of Bellona—

UBALDO.
The protection
Both of the Court, and King—

RICARDO.
And the sole minion
Of mighty Mars!

EUBULUS.
Hey dey!

RICARDO.
It being impossible in my arms to circle
Such giant worth—

UBALDO.
At distance we presume
To kiss your honoured gauntlet.

EUBULUS.
What reply now
Can he make to this foppery?

FERDINAND.
You have said,
Gallants, so much, and hitherto done so little,
That till I learn to speak, and you to act,
I must take time to thank you.

EUBULUS.
As I live, answered as I could wish.
How the fops gape now!

RICARDO.
This was harsh, and scurvy.

UBALDO.
We will be reveng'd
When he comes into the circle o'th' court ladies.

EUBULUS.
Nay, do your offices, gentlemen, and conduct
The General to the presence.

RICARDO.
Keep your order.

UBALDO.
Make way for the General.

[Exeunt.