University of Virginia Library

SCENE I.

HILLARIO discover'd in a mean habit, sitting near a spring in the front of the Castle.
HILLARIO.
Thin, thin provision!—I am dieted
Like one set to watch hawks; and to keep me waking,
Vile hunger croaks a perpetual larum in me!
—Here stand I centinel, and though I fright
Beggars from my lady's gate, in hopes to have
A larger share—I find my commons mend not!
—I look'd this morning into my glass—the river,
And there appear'd a fish call'd “a poor John,”
Cut with a lenten face after my own likeness;
And he seem'd to say, “Good morrow, cousin!”
—No man comes this way but has a fling at me.
A chirurgeon passing by, asked at what rate
I would sell myself?—for what use? quoth I?
To make, said he, a live anatomy,
As thou art transparent without dissection!
—They say, that famine dwells i'th' camp, tho' till
My lord returns, or certain tidings of him
She will stick close by me;—but sorrow's dry
And I must drink!
[Draws water with an earthen pitcher, and drinks.
A marvellous difference I vow, betwixt
This poor, and dropsical potation,
And a skinful of honest Canary!
What signifies it's curing the heart burn
When it gives me the heart-ache, and for which
This hard dry crust will prove no good specific!
I'll try if I can sing it away.
SONG.

Enter UBALDO, RICARDO, and GUIDE.
GUIDE.
That is the Lady's castle,
O' my certain knowledge.

RICARDO.
Our horses held out to admiration.

UBALDO.
I am on fire to see the quarry;
Plump and pretty, no doubt!

RICARDO.
Give me the cabinet.
[takes it from the Guide.
So; leave us now.

GUIDE.
Good fortune to you, most honourable gallants.
[Exit Guide.

UBALDO.
Being d'ye see, joint agents in a design
For the service of the Queen, and our own pleasure!
It behoves us, Ricardo, to proceed with judgment.

HILLARIO.
On my troth here seem to be two more sham knights,
Come, like me, to play the fool!

[Aside.
RICARDO.
If I take not
This fair fort, at the first assault,
So I may have precedence—

UBALDO.
On no terms;
We are both to besiege one prize; let him
Who carries her, enjoy it without contention.

RICARDO.
Agreed—but mind and make you your approaches
As I directed.

UBALDO.
Sir, I need no instructions;
I work on no man's anvil—But who have we here?
What skeleton's this?

RICARDO.
A ghost; thou image of famine,
Where dost thou dwell?

HILLARIO.
Dwell Sir? my dwelling is
I'th' highway. That goodly house was once
My habitation; but I am banish'd,
And canot be call'd home 'till news arrive
Of the good knight Eugenius.

RICARDO.
If that will restore thee,
Thou art safe—

UBALDO.
We come from him,
With presents to his lovely wife.

HILLARIO.
But are you sure
He is in health?

RICARDO.
Never so well; conduct us
To his fair Lady.

HILLARIO.
I will leap
Out of my skin for joy!—Break, pitcher, break;
And wallet, late my cupboard, I bequeath thee
To the next beggar; thou red herring, swim
To the red sea again! methinks I am already
Knuckle deep in the stew pots; and, tho' waking, dream
Of wine and plenty!

RICARDO.
What's the mystery
Of this strange passion?

HILLARIO.
My hunger, gentlemen,
Will not give me leave to tell you; when I have brought you
To my Lady's presence, I am disenchanted,
There you shall know all.—Follow: if I out-strip you,
Know I run for my belly.

UBALDO.
A mad fellow this, surely!

[Exeunt.