University of Virginia Library

8. CHAPTER VIII.

THE people were naturally led from the idea of
property giving the right of suffrage, to that of the property
itself exercising this right; and herds and flocks
propria persona, coming forward viva voce, or with a
ticket; and this by an association of ideas, introduced
that of being capable of being elected. But it did not
occur to them until suggested, that the representative is
chosen, or in contemplation of the constitution, supposed
to be chosen for his superior knowledge and information
over that of the constituent. At least it ought to be
a principle upon which the selection is founded. And
in the original of the English constitution, we find the
representatives were called the wittena gemote, or the
assembly of the wise men. Nor when it was suggested,
did it stick much with them. Nevertheless, they
thought it not amiss to give the beasts some education;
provided their nature was improvable, which, from what
was heard of the learned pig, could not longer remain
doubtful.

says the poet. This being the case, it might be tried
how far a four-footed creature could be taught the arts
and sciences, or instructed in the principles of morality,
or the rules of good breeding; not to go so far as to constitute
colleges, and academies for their use; but common
reading and writing, or, perhaps, arithmetic as far
as the rule of three.

There are philosophers who assert, with great plausibility,
that the highest powers of reasoning, are but a
gradation from vegetable life. If so, it must be a greater
start from the tendril of a vine to a vernacular substance
than from the creeping thing to that which walks
on all fours. From thence to the human species, is a
leap not more extraordinary. That man may have been
once an oyster, was the opinion of Darwin; but that he
might have been at least a ground squirrel, was the opinion

of the visionary philosopher. Of this character I
have already made honourable mention, in my introduction
to the history of the beasts voting. He was sanguine
in the undertaking to instruct and civilize the brutes.
Nay, to fit them for offices, and the discharge of trusts
in the community. He had caught a young panther,
and, with a chain about its neck, had put it to study law
with a young man of that profession, who wishing to get
forward in business, thought it would do him no harm,
though it might not do the panther much good.

There were those who bore testimony against this, being
of opinion that lawyers were bad enough, even when
made of the best materials. They were supported in
this opinion by some reflecting persons who could not
conceive that this animal could ever be made capable of
explaining a matter to a jury; or stating a point of law
to the court. What is it, said the philosopher, whether
he may ever be able to explain himself intelligibly at
the bar. Cannot he grin, bite, squeal, and shake his
tail? Is it with sense, that a jury, or a court, are always
moved most? I wish to prove that reason goes but a
little way to make learned counsel. The main matter
is to satisfy the client; who will be oftentimes better
pleased to lose his cause in the hands of one that will
make a noise, than to gain it by him who says little. At
least he will have less scruple in paying him. For he
will not say, you had not much trouble; you said but a
word or two; not considering that a rifle shot, is more
certain and deadly than any quantum of sound.

An ecclesiastic was at hand, who had an antipathy to
vociferators, being himself a man of a weak voice; and
took this opportunity to express himself against declaimers.
It is true, said he, the sound of rams' horns blew
down the walls of Jericho; but that was a most extraordinary
blast.—

And not to be drawn into precedent, said a lawyer who
was by.

It was an extraordinary blast, continued the ecclesiastic.—

But the human voice is stronger than any wind, said
the visionary philosopher. No wind blowing will shock
an army like that of the shout of a main body about to
engage, though since the invention of gunpowder, except
among the savages, shouting is not in practice.

The blowing down the walls of Jericho with the sound
of a ram's horn, resumed the ecclesiastic, was a most extraordinary
blast. But recollect, that in another part of
the scripture it is said, “the Lord was not in the whirlwind,
but in the still small voice.”