Recaptured Rhymes Being a Batch of Political and Other Fugitives Arrested and Brought to Book. By H. D. Traill |
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THE PUZZLED HISTORIAN. |
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 | Recaptured Rhymes |  |
50
THE PUZZLED HISTORIAN.
(1880.)
“What is the drift of it? Where is the key to it?
Fog and perplexity! What does it mean?
Search as I may, no solution I see to it,
Nowhere the trace of a clue to be seen.”
Fog and perplexity! What does it mean?
Search as I may, no solution I see to it,
Nowhere the trace of a clue to be seen.”
Such is the cry the South African mystery,
Wrapt as 'twill seem in obscurity dense,
Surely will draw from the writer of history,
Sifting the matter a century hence.
Wrapt as 'twill seem in obscurity dense,
Surely will draw from the writer of history,
Sifting the matter a century hence.
“Come now, together once more let me pull myself,”
Thus will he mutter with resolute frown;
“Else I shall think I am growing as dull myself,
Dull as the Blue-books I have to boil down.
Thus will he mutter with resolute frown;
“Else I shall think I am growing as dull myself,
Dull as the Blue-books I have to boil down.
51
“Yes! it is clear that a certain Commissioner
Occupied (let me be sure of the year—
Seventy-nine) at the Cape the position or
Office of ruler—that's perfectly clear.
Occupied (let me be sure of the year—
Seventy-nine) at the Cape the position or
Office of ruler—that's perfectly clear.
“Clear it is too (for a scrutiny rigorous
Settles the point) that Commissioner Frere
Does, for proceedings imprudently vigorous,
Get himself wigged by the Government here.
Settles the point) that Commissioner Frere
Does, for proceedings imprudently vigorous,
Get himself wigged by the Government here.
“Wigged with asperity, wigged with severity
(Whigs cannot wig as Conservatives can);
So that one thinks he'll resign with celerity
Such as becomes a high-spirited man.
(Whigs cannot wig as Conservatives can);
So that one thinks he'll resign with celerity
Such as becomes a high-spirited man.
“Ah! but he doesn't; that's quite incontestable;
Clearly, yes clearly, he doesn't resign:
Swallows his wigging and finds it digestible,
Sticks to his office through Seventy-nine.
Clearly, yes clearly, he doesn't resign:
Swallows his wigging and finds it digestible,
Sticks to his office through Seventy-nine.
52
“What have we then? Why, a furious clamour and
Angry demands for Sir Bartle's recall;
Gladstone—the Gladstone—attacking him hammer and
Tongs, and protesting the loudest of all!
Angry demands for Sir Bartle's recall;
Gladstone—the Gladstone—attacking him hammer and
Tongs, and protesting the loudest of all!
“Levity, rashness, inordinate vanity,
Chauvinist arrogance, stubborn self-will,
Callous contempt for the claims of humanity—
Such were the terms of which Frere had his fill.
Chauvinist arrogance, stubborn self-will,
Callous contempt for the claims of humanity—
Such were the terms of which Frere had his fill.
“Faults intellectual, moral obliquities,
Shared, it was said, the Commissioner's mind;
‘Wildest of follies’ or ‘worst of iniquities’
Equally truly his action defined.
Shared, it was said, the Commissioner's mind;
‘Wildest of follies’ or ‘worst of iniquities’
Equally truly his action defined.
“Thus we go on until changes political
Bring to a close the Conservative reign,
Placing this Gladstone—the closest of critical
Study assures me—in office again.
Bring to a close the Conservative reign,
Placing this Gladstone—the closest of critical
Study assures me—in office again.
53
“Now then, I thought, 'twill all up with Sir Bartle be,
Gladstone will have him back home pretty soon;
Or he may think his more dignified part'll be
That of the Colonel's intelligent 'coon.
Gladstone will have him back home pretty soon;
Or he may think his more dignified part'll be
That of the Colonel's intelligent 'coon.
“No, not a bit of it! quite the reverse of it;
Colonel and 'coon get on capital terms;
Federal scheme is revived, and, as nurse of it,
Frere in his office the Premier confirms.
Colonel and 'coon get on capital terms;
Federal scheme is revived, and, as nurse of it,
Frere in his office the Premier confirms.
“Frere, the atrocious, the quite indefensible;
Maker of barbarous wars has become
Frere, the sagacious, the quite indispensable
Man of the policy favoured at home.
Maker of barbarous wars has become
Frere, the sagacious, the quite indispensable
Man of the policy favoured at home.
“Wonders on wonders! but by this addition or
Rather completion the summit is topped;
Frere, the forgiven and trusted Commissioner,
Shortly discovers his salary stopped!
Rather completion the summit is topped;
Frere, the forgiven and trusted Commissioner,
Shortly discovers his salary stopped!
54
“Surely a body of fables incredible
Gathering round this Commissioner Frere!
One I could swallow, or two might be edible,
Hardly the whole—in a single career.
Gathering round this Commissioner Frere!
One I could swallow, or two might be edible,
Hardly the whole—in a single career.
“Wigged by Conservative chiefs who appointed him,
Cursed—and conserved by the Whigs who attacked!
Feathered and tarred by the priests who anointed him,
Whitewashed by those at whose hands he was blacked!
Cursed—and conserved by the Whigs who attacked!
Feathered and tarred by the priests who anointed him,
Whitewashed by those at whose hands he was blacked!
“Sternly rebuked—and with signal humility
Bowing his head and consenting to stay!
Fiercely reviled—and retained for ability!
Highly commended—and docked of his pay!
Bowing his head and consenting to stay!
Fiercely reviled—and retained for ability!
Highly commended—and docked of his pay!
“Have I as one two Commissioners reckoned, or
Is there a brace of Prime Ministers here?
Are there two Gladstones, a first and a second, or
Is there, perchance, an alternative Frere?
Is there a brace of Prime Ministers here?
Are there two Gladstones, a first and a second, or
Is there, perchance, an alternative Frere?
55
“Vainly, ah vainly, I strive with the mystery;
Vainly I hunt for the clue that I miss;
Fog and perplexity! Who would the history
Wish to compose of a people like this?”
Vainly I hunt for the clue that I miss;
Fog and perplexity! Who would the history
Wish to compose of a people like this?”
| Recaptured Rhymes | |