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52

Confucius and La-ou-tsze.

One tim he Mr Kung-fou-tsze
Go talkee olo La-ou-tsze,
An' all too-muchee chin-chin him
To tell someting 'bout olo tim.
Till, velly angly, La-ou-tsze
Kick up one piecee bobbely,
An' scoldee bad, he Kung-fou-tsze,
An' talk t'his pidgin, in Chinee.
“He wise man t'at you talkee so,
He deadee wailo longo go.
He bone all lotten in he glave,
Only some piecee word you have,
One piecee word in ole Chinee
You talkee-talkee 'um to me.
He wise man talk to devilo flew,
My wish he talk go dev'lo too.

53

“My s'pose you savv' how má-chin man
Hide up he dolla' állo can,
Make hidee or he mandalin
Come squeezee 'way wat má-chin win.
You all-same mandalin, I say,
You wantchee squeeze my wisdom 'way.
My savvy someting dat be tlue,
But make no pidgin long-side you.
“My lookee you, my solly see
Wat-piece one foolo-man you be,
You wantchee lise all-same he smoke
Top-sidee headee állo folk.
S'posey you lise one tim—my say,
All-same he smoke you blow away.”
When La-ou-tsze have talkee so,
He get top-side one buffalo,
An' lidee 'way acloss he plain,
An' homo nevva com again.
While Kung-fou-tsze, who standee t'here,
All-same one piecee foolo stare,
An' talk, “He wise man La-ou-tsze,
He muchee-much too much for me.

54

“My savvy how he fishee swim,
My savvy bird, top-sidee lim',
My savvy how one deer lun by,
My savvy how he dlagon fly.
Man catchee fish wit' linee-hook,
T'at bird insidee net get took,
Wit' allow deer get shootee so,
But how catch dlagon no man know.
“He olo sage, he La-ou-tsze
All-same one dlagon look to me;
He talkee állo my facie 'way,
My catchee no one word to say;
He shuttee-up poo' Kung-fou-tsze,
An' makee my all flaid of he.”
MORAL-PIDGIN.
Dis pukkha sing-song makee show
How smart man make mistake, galow.
Dere's wisee men no hab pletence,
Who long-side wisdom catchee sense.
Oh! tink, my flin! oh! tink, ye yout'h,
You wantchee dlain t'hat well of tlut'h.

55

Look-see you bucket, 'fore you tly,
Got lopee 'nuf to pump 'um dly.
One piecee mouse can dlink at liver,
But let he mousey tly for ever,
All he can do top-sidee shore
Is squinch he t'hirst an' nuffin more.
 

Confucius.

La-ou-tsze, a sage founder of the Taou sect.

Implored.

Gone.

Savvy, know.

Má-chin, merchant (native vocabulary).

Wantchee, want.

Above the heads of all.

Home. This retort of La-ou-tsze is historical, nor is it denied by the disciples of Confucius.

Savvy, know.

To take one's face away, the common Chinese expression for causing shame or defeat.

Pukkha, true.

Flin, friend.

Quench.