University of Virginia Library

Miss Molly was almost fourteen,
Her Cousin Dick a year older,
The diff'rence of a year between
Was very easy to be seen,
For Dick was grown a year bolder.
Though he was grown bolder and braver,
Molly grew bashfuller and shier,
So serious and so much graver,
She hardly would let Dick come nigh her.
The year before, upon no score,
Would Dick be caught in such a trick,
As either peeping through a nick,
Or through the key-hole of a door.
The year before Miss had no fears,
And there was no such thing as squealing;
And Dick had neither eyes nor ears,
Neither taste, nor smell, nor feeling.
Until this year, as I have heard,
Dick was unlucky, but not rude;
And Molly so far from a prude,
Till now her door was never barr'd.
One afternoon Mamma rode out,
Papa was laid up in the gout:
Well, and what became of Molly?
If she had taken her to ride,
She should have been confin'd and try'd,
For flagrant and wilful folly.
When they are let out of the cage,
Let out without consideration,
All children of a certain age,
Are given much to observation.
Their judgement's so exceeding weak,
Their fancy so exceeding strong,
That you can neither act nor speak,
They are so apt to take things wrong.
So neither Miss, nor Dick the sapling,
With Madam rides;
She is attended by the Chaplain,
And none besides.
Which of the two were better pleas'd,
Is difficult to say, I own.
Miss and Papa had been so teaz'd,
They both were pleas'd to be alone.
Up to her chamber Molly's flown,
Fast bolted is her chamber-door,
So cautious the damsel's grown,
From what Miss Molly was before.
Ever since Dick began to pry,
Ever since Molly cast her frock,
She never ventures to rely
On the protection of a lock.
Molly suspects her cousin Dick,
Her cousin Dick's so plaguy sly,
That lock, or any lock, can pick,
That Dick has any mind to try.
Dick pick the lock! it could not be,
If Molly only had the sense,
As soon as she had turn'd the key,
Not to have taken it from thence.
Molly would gladly have compounded,
If Dick would let her 'scape so cheap,
Whenever Molly was impounded,
She left that hole for Dick to peep.
She was aware there was no keeping,
No hindering cousin Dick from peeping:
For sure as ever you're alive,
Either with gimlet or skewer,
Her cousin Richard would contrive
To bore a hole, somewhere to view her.
For some particular affair,
That Molly had in agitation,
She did not at that juncture care,
To be expos'd to speculation.
She clapp'd a fire-skreen to the hole,
To hinder cousin Dick from spying;
Little imagining, poor soul!
That Dick was in her closet lying.
The room, as you have heard me tell,
At all times had been Molly's own;
The closet was a citadel
Of a late date, to awe the town.
Mamma had thought upon the case,
And thinking made her more afraid,
A closet was a dangerous place
For stratagem and ambuscade;
So the room still to Miss remains,
The fort to Mamma appertains.
The key that opens this same fort,
Mamma had lost, in a strange sort,
In riding out, the key she lost;
And it was found by Dick at play,
Upon the spot where it was toss'd,
Upon a heap of new-made hay.
Her pad, I fancy, for my part,
Is badly broke, and apt to start:
And by a sudden jerk or spring,
Or swing, or some such thing,
Out flew the key, as if a stone
Had flown
Out of a sling.
Pray, where was Miss's great neglect?
Where was Molly's indiscretion?
This treach'rous key could she suspect
To be in cousin Dick's possession?
She was so circumspect and cool,
Each nook and cranny she survey'd;
She even examin'd the close-stool,
But Dick was in the closet laid.
Whate'er he saw, Dick never told,
And that is much for one so young,
When people that are twice as old,
Have twice as indiscreet a tongue.
It must be something very curious,
Some strange extraordinary matter;
Dick star'd and look'd quite wild and furious
Just when he bounc'd out and flew at her.
Though she was cruelly betray'd,
Dick made up matters very soon,
Molly was reconcil'd, Dick stay'd
And spent a pleasant afternoon.
The point was long, and well debated;
But Dick so solemnly protested,
By Molly he was reinstated,
And with the key fairly invested.
Mamma perceiv'd the key was stray'd,
And sent the Chaplain out to look;
'Twas not for that she was dismay'd,
But she had lost her pocket-book.
He found the book, which was the best;
As to the key, the careful mother,
Before she laid her head to rest,
Sent and bespoke just such another.
'Twas well she let the lock remain:
Had it been chang'd on his report,
It would have caus'd infinite pain,
And spoil'd a deal of harmless sport.
In a short time Molly grew sick,
Every day sicker and sicker;
Molly's complaints came very thick,
Every day thicker and thicker.
She was advis'd to change the air;
She did, but no-body knows where.
Molly came home a different thing,
Both in her shape and every feature,
From what she went away in spring,
You never saw a virgin sweeter.
'Squire Noddy coming from his travels,
By Molly is a captive led;
He to her Sire his mind unravels,
Her Sire consents, and Molly's wed.
It is six years that 'Squire Noddy
Has had the care of Molly's body;
And they have children half a dozen;
But what is very odd is this,
That none of all the six should miss,
But every one be like her cousin.