THE PARSON'S TALE;
SEEING IS BELIEVING.
TALE III.
Thomas came running to the mill,
As Will was standing at the door,
“Would you believe it, neighbour Will?”
Said Tom, “my wife's an arrant whore!
With colours flying, drums a pair,
I left her very hard at work,
Tossing the Squire up in the air,
As if he had been made of cork.
You know the burthen is not light,
He was not born to be a jockey,
And, to add something to the weight,
His worship was a little rocky.
From my relation I presume,
Neighbour, you will conclude and gather,
That he was in a plaguy fume,
And she all over in a lather.
I never thought, as I'm a sinner,
That Moll had any sporting blood,
Or any kind of mettle in her,
No more than in a log of wood.
At any moment of the day,
My wife said, Will takes as much pains:
I make her pockets ring and play,
Jingling her keys about like chains.
And yet no sempstress with a thimble,
That sits all day upon her crupper,
Can be more mettlesome and nimble,
Or readier for it, after supper.”
“Where did you leave your wife?” said he—
“Behind yon stack, where she lies dry.
Run and peep through the hedge and see,”
Said Tom, “if she begin to fly.”
Will ran and peep'd, and then crept nigher,
And then cried, “Thomas, you're a liar.
I see them at it, and see clear,
'Tis not your Moll, but my sweet Nell;
The devil, I hope, that brought her here,
Will carry her back with him to hell.”
“I knew, and would have laid my life,”
Said Will, “if I had bid you go,
To see the pastime of your wife,
You would not run to see the show;
But you would scamper to the stack,
To see my wife upon her back.
The only way that I would act,
The only way I would advise,
And the best way to prove the fact,
Is to appeal to your own eyes.”
MORAL.
Segnius irritant animos dimissa per aurem,
Quam quæ sunt oculis subjecta fidelibus, et quæ
Ipse sibi tradit spectator.—
An offer from one, of one seventy-four,
Was grateful to the royal hearing,
If one by self one had offer'd one more,
Keppel would think that one was jeering.
“The offer might surprize a tar,”
The Lawyer cried, taking off Lee:
“To see the L---r man of war,
I do confess would surprize me.”—
“There is some difference,” said the scoffer,
“Between an offering and an offer;
Sam offer'd Jack a horse—‘where is he, Sam?
Sam answer'd—‘in the matrix of his dam.’
‘Where are my ships,’ cried Lewis, ‘seize,
That many a town and province offers?’
‘Sire,’ said the daughter of Therese,
‘Breeding, like Spider's eggs, in empty coffers.”
