Epistle XX. To Calvisius.
by
the Same. [Mr. Henley]
[_]
On one that Angled for Legacies.
LOOK me some Copper, and I'll pay you a Golden Story for it; nay, a String of them;
for a fresh Tale reminds me of a Number before it; and it is no matter where I begin.
Verania, Piso's Lady, (that Piso, I mean who was adopted by
Galba) lay dangerously ill: Regulus paid her a Visit. First,
mark the Impudence of the Fellow, to approach a sick Woman, when he was a profess'd Enemy to her Husband,
and extreamly odious to her self. So far, good, had it been a bare Visit;
but he drew his Seat very near the Bed, and enquired what Day and Hour she was born.
As soon as he heard it, he set his Face in form, put on an earnest Look,
mov'd his Lips, shak'd his Fingers, but counted upon them nothing at all,
any further than putting the Wretch in suspense with a tedious Expectation:
You are, says he, past your Climacteric, but you will recover; and to convince you better of it,
I will consult a Diviner, whom I have often try'd. Without delay, he makes a
Sacrifice, and affirms, That the Intestines agree with the Signification
of the Stars. She more inclin'd by her Danger to be credulous,
requir'd her Will, writes down a Legacy to
Regulus; presently sickens to a fatal Degree,
and exclaims, in a dying Condition, O villainous, perfidious Man, and more than perjur'd! Who swore to her falsly by the Health of his Son.
This is the Practice of
Regulus, as impious, as it is frequent,
to imprecate the Anger of the Gods, whom he daily mocks, on the Life of the unhappy Child.
Valleius Blesus, that rich Consular-Man, was sick to an Extremity;
he desir'd to alter his Will. Regulus, who promis'd himself an Advantage by that Change,
as he had lately tamper'd with him, began to exhort the Physicians, and urge them by all possible Methods to prolong the Life of the Patient.
When the Will was sign'd, he varies his Character, turns his Address,
and speaks to the same Physicians, How long do you torture the Afflicted?
Why do you envy him an easy Death, when you cannot protract his Life;
Blesus expires; and as if he heard all that fell from him, did not leave a Farthing to
Regulus.
These two are sufficient; do you challenge a third, by the Law of Pastime?
I can furnish you.
Aurelia, a Woman of Fashion, on the point of signing her Will, laid her Hands on a very fine suit of Cloaths.
When she came to sign, Regulus said to her, I would beg the Favour of you to leave these to me.
Aurelia thought
the Man was in Jest; he press'd her seriously: Immediately she commanded her Woman to open the Tables,
and put him down the Dress she wore for a Legacy. He observ'd her Writing,
and look'd whether she had written it. And truly,
Aurelia is alive;
yet ye oblig'd her to this, as if she was dying. And he takes an Inheritance,
he receives a Legacy, as if he deserv'd it. But why do I stay in that City,
where Impudence and Knavery have long since been more largely recompens'd than Modesty and Virtue?
Look upon
Regulus, who advanc'd his Fortune from Poverty to Riches by ill Methods;
so far, that he told me himself, when he consulted the Soothsayer, how soon he should make up six Hundred
Sesterces, that he found the Entrails doubled, which portended that he should raise it to a Thousand,
and two Hundred. And he will have it, if, as he has begun, he proceeds to dispose of what he belongs to others according to his own Pleasure.
