University of Virginia Library

7. Part VII

Dick had a date with Helen Ardsley on the morning of the Monday when husband Jack was to arrive and yell for lover Eddie's gore, so I rose early and went for a long, lone walk to nurse black thoughts and hatred for the double-dyed villain who had once been my friend.

I got back to the hotel a little before noon, in order to be on hand for Jack's entrance. Miss Claremont met me on the veranda.

"It's all off!" she told me sorrowfully. "Eddie ran out on me. He promised to take me sailing this morning as per schedule, but he's gone!"

"Must be around some place," I said. "I'll hunt him up. There's still time for him to take you sailing before your husband gets here."

Miss Claremont shook her head.

"He's gone, I tell you. Think I haven't hunted for him? He took the train for Portsmouth last night. A good story all gone to pot!"

Just then Dick came up and looked me over as if I were a sickness he was afraid of having.

"Pretty smart, aren't you?" he sneered.

"Yes," I admitted. "You just find it out?"

"I've just found out that you're treacherous!" he said. You knew that I had a date with Miss Ardsley this morning."

"Certainly," I said. "What of it?"

"Where is she?" he asked.

"How do I know?" I returned.

"Didn't she go walking with you?" Dick inquired.

"No," I said. "Didn't she go with you?"

"No," Dick replied.

Then the house automobile from the noon train drove up, and we found out where Helen Ardsley was. She was right there — with Eddie.

We knew before he told us. A man looks as foolish as that only once in a lifetime, unless he's married twice.

"My wife!" Eddie blatted. "My wife! We were married last night in Portsmouth."

We followed them inside and watched Kemmer get his shock. I was looking for him to rave at Eddie, but he was strangely amiable. I didn't understand it then, but I did later.

"I'm so happy, boys!" Helen Ardsley — I mean Mrs. May, dog-gone it! — told us. "Do you know, I proposed to Eddie! I suppose I ought to be ashamed of that, but as a matter of fact I'm proud of it! I knew he loved me all the time, and I also knew that he was too bashful to speak. He's the finest man in the world, but he lacks self-confidence. He doesn't realize what a perfectly splendid fellow he is. He felt himself unworthy of me, and wouldn't court me at all. Wasn't that silly of him? I have that horrible Miss Claremont to thank for my happiness. If it hadn't been for her shameless attempt to win him, I should never have got up the courage to speak; but I wasn't going to stand by and see the man whom I loved, and who I knew loved me, dragged down by that dreadful person! Oh, boys, I'm so happy about everything! I could almost forgive Miss Claremont. You know, I'm really the first and only woman Eddie ever loved. He's such a dear! And so modest! Oh!

Well, that was about all that I could stand at one time. I drifted out on the veranda, and Dick followed me. We'd just got done shaking hands and renewing our friendship when Kemmer came up.

He looked awfully blue — almost as blue as I felt. I didn't blame him. Terrible thing to have a pill like Eddie married on you!

"Between us we sort of spilled the beans, boys," he said gloomily. "I was rather hoping one of you two would catch on with my niece."

"We were rather hoping the same thing," I admitted. "I suppose you'll have to give Eddie something to do around the hotel to support him. He hasn't a thing, you know."

Give him something to do around the hotel?" Kemmer gasped. "Give him — you're crazy! I get a salary for running this place. My brother-in-law — my niece's father — put this hotel up before he died, just to give me something to do. Not a nickel's worth of it belongs to me. She owns it, and this is only a little plaything of hers. It would take an expert accountant six months to figure up all she owns. Why, you boobs, I'm only a poor relation of hers! I was hoping she might marry one of you two boys, because I thought you might be friendly to me afterward. Give Eddie something to do around the hotel? Why, I'm scared stiff for fear he'll remember some of the things I've said to him, and have me fired!"

Be a boob, I tell you — that's what wins. I admit I have brains and good looks, and I still have my future, but — ah, but! Eddie's in Florida at his winter home. I'm in debt at my tailor's, and haven't got any home that I can lay claim to if I miss paying the rent for a week.

Be a boob, I tell you. Be helpless — that's the idea. Poor little Eddie! Waugh!