University of Virginia Library

5. Part V

The first week in July, Clarice Claremont, the musical-comedy star, arrived at the Bonavita. She said she'd come for a rest, but Dick and I didn't give her any. She was a corking good fellow, and we had some great times together for a couple of weeks. Dick and I had cooperated up to the time when she arrived, but she developed a certain amount of competition between us.

Then Kemmer's niece, Helen Ardsley, arrived from the West, and our friendship entirely ceased. So did our attentions to Miss Claremont.

Miss Ardsley was an orphan, and while it was evident from the way she dressed and acted that she was more or less of a poor relation, we both noticed that Kemmer was very fond of her. There was a strong probability that he might do pretty well by the man who married his niece.

Not that that had anything whatever to do with my feelings, or Dick's — positively not! With both of us it was a case of love at first sight, and fair play go bang! She was about twenty, a tall, quiet, reserved girl, with light hair and big, blue eyes, and as pretty as — oh, what's the use? She was to her sex what Shelley is to poets. Turn your imagination loose with that for a tip. You can't go too far.

Within a week Dick and I were as popular with all the rest of the girls at the place as a divorced husband at his ex-wife's second wedding. When Dick was out with Miss Ardsley, I was too miserable to bother with anybody else. When I was out with her, Dick would sit in his room and read Poe.

Several of the girls we'd been attentive to left the hotel in somewhat of a huff, and in my rare, lucid moments, when I was temporarily able to forget Miss Ardsley, it occurred to me that Kemmer had a kick coming. However, he seemed satisfied with the way things were going. He was fond of his niece, and I suppose he was gratified by the court we paid her, even if it did cost him a few guests.

Miss Claremont was the only one of our former playmates who didn't get offended. She was so nice and sympathetic that I used to hunt her up and knock Dick when he had Miss Ardsley out. Dick employed the same means of solace when I was the lucky one. She'd tell me what Dick said about me, and then tell Dick what I said about him. She was nice that way.

After a few days Dick and I quit speaking to each other, and only conversed through her. Then she asked me to do her a favor.

"Anything," I promised fervently. "Anything you ask."

Isn't it funny? When a man's in love he'll promise anything fervently, not only to the one he's in love with, but to anybody else. Love seems to be a kind of promissory mood, doesn't it?

"I want you to help me in a little press-agent stunt," she said. "My husband's coming on Monday — "

"Your husband!" I said, with a foolish expression. "Your husband!"

Yes," she said. "Didn't you know I was married? I thought every one knew that. Jack's a dear! Don't you remember reading how he horsewhipped

that Italian count who was attentive to me? No? The story went all over the country. Jack's supposed to be murderously jealous of me. Of course, he's not — he knows he's the only man in the world I ever give a thought to — but it makes good press stuff. Now, I want you to take me out sailing on Monday morning. We'll sail out beyond the reef to Perch Island, and go ashore there for a few hours. Jack will arrive a little before noon, and will ask for me. When he finds out I've gone sailing with you, he'll storm around and make a terrible disturbance. Then he'll pace up and down the beach, waiting for us to come back. We'll get back about sunset, and Jack will make a most frightful scene."

I was as dumb as a man in love usually is.

"But if you know he's coming, why get caught?" I asked.

Press stuff, silly!" she said. "Well-known actress — ardent college boy — jealous husband — don't you see it?"

"I see the scene," I told her, "but not with myself as any part of the scenery!"

"But you said you'd do anything for me," she reminded me.

"Anything but that," I qualified my proffer of assistance.

I was thinking of Miss Ardsley. I'd have a fine chance with her after being mixed up in a mess like that, wouldn't I? Thinking of Miss Ardsley naturally reminded me of Dick, who was playing tennis with her at the time.

"Ask Dick," I advised Miss Claremont.

"I did," Miss Claremont said. "He recommended you."

The unprincipled trickster! Trying to get me in wrong with Helen Ardsley!

Then I had an inspiration. Eddie! Why not? Of course, Eddie had a perfectly good reputation, but it didn't do him a particle of good. It was reasonable to assume that the loss of it wouldn't do him any harm, wasn't it? Absolutely!

So I nominated Eddie, and Miss Claremont and I elected him unanimously. We decided not to tell him what his duties would be.

"Why worry him?" I asked Miss Claremont. "If he doesn't know what's coming off, he'll act the part all the better. He'll be more convincing in it. Then it 'll be fun to watch him when he thinks he's in danger of being murdered by an irate husband!"

"I'd better be seen with him as much as possible between now and Monday," Miss Claremont said. "Sort of work up Jack's entrance, you know."