 | Papa In The Study |  |
In all the land, by field and town,
The boys and girls go up and down;
In all the land the girls and boys,
Wherever they go, do make a noise;
The boys and girls go up and down;
In all the land the girls and boys,
Wherever they go, do make a noise;
And with the noise which they do make
They sometimes cause my head to ache.
I lay my books upon the shelves,
And think how they enjoy themselves.
They sometimes cause my head to ache.
I lay my books upon the shelves,
And think how they enjoy themselves.
They do not hear me thus declare,
And if they did they would not care,
Not being wise enough to know
How pleased I am to see them so.
And if they did they would not care,
Not being wise enough to know
How pleased I am to see them so.
If through a speaking trumpet I
To bid them make less noise should try,
So that all round this earthly ball
The boys and girls did hear me call
To bid them make less noise should try,
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The boys and girls did hear me call
(Of course I know that could not be,
And this is only theory),
The noise they make would still proceed,
Whether I write, or think, or read.
[Shouts heard outside from millions of girls and
boys. “I shall!” “You shan't!” “Cut away!”
“I'll be there first!” “Leave that alone!” “Yah!
yah!” “Well bowled, Charlie!” “Who are
you?” “Don't be greedy!” “Cowardy, cowardy
custard!” “Betsy's gone a milking, mother,
mother!” and all that. The Artist is to put
this into a picture; also that most of them smell
of gravel; that the girls have some of them gritty-looking
grazes on their knee-caps; and the boys
string in their pockets, and some of them bread-and-butter
in their hats.
And this is only theory),
The noise they make would still proceed,
Whether I write, or think, or read.
It is the nature of the young
To stamp, to jump; to loose the tongue
In shouts and screams; to hop, to race,
To play at slides, or prisoners' base,
To stamp, to jump; to loose the tongue
In shouts and screams; to hop, to race,
To play at slides, or prisoners' base,
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Or fly a kite, or twirl a top,
Or play, with scales, at keeping shop,
Or Betsy's gone a-milking, or
At shuttlecock and battledore,
Or play, with scales, at keeping shop,
Or Betsy's gone a-milking, or
At shuttlecock and battledore,
Or leap-frog, or the game called “cat,”
(Though some do not approve of that,
Because the cat aslant may fly
And hit a person in the eye),
(Though some do not approve of that,
Because the cat aslant may fly
And hit a person in the eye),
To play at racket, cricket; games
With ball, that carry various names;
To whirl the skipping-rope, and drive
The hoop till it appears alive;
With ball, that carry various names;
To whirl the skipping-rope, and drive
The hoop till it appears alive;
To thread the needle in the ring,
To play at tea and visiting,
Or Poor Woman from Baby's Land,
And games I do not understand.
To play at tea and visiting,
Or Poor Woman from Baby's Land,
And games I do not understand.
And often they their fingers cut,
And on their faces you see smut,
And on the gravel they will fall,
And hurt their knees, and loudly call,
And on their faces you see smut,
And on the gravel they will fall,
And hurt their knees, and loudly call,
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Or else their elbows, or perhaps
They cut their foreheads, little chaps
Upon their brows have blue-black knobs
From falls, and such-like awkward jobs.
They cut their foreheads, little chaps
Upon their brows have blue-black knobs
From falls, and such-like awkward jobs.
But it is always half their joys
In all their play to make a noise,
And much more than is necessary
To prove to us that they are merry.
In all their play to make a noise,
And much more than is necessary
To prove to us that they are merry.
Their arms and legs they also use
A great deal more than I should choose
To use my own. They skip, they run,
Not out of haste, but out of fun.
[Here the Artist will again interpose and make a
picture, in which millions of boys and girls are
jumping over and round each other inextricably,
arms and legs being mixed up. Accidents must
be on the very point of occurring, if they have not
already happened, and it must be a very noisy
picture, only the sounds must, in this case, be
indistinguishable. This will, perhaps, be easier
for him than the articulate noises required in the
previous case.
A great deal more than I should choose
To use my own. They skip, they run,
Not out of haste, but out of fun.
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And when I hear the girls and boys
Go round the land, and make a noise,
And jump so much more than they need,
(For of their boots they take no heed,
Go round the land, and make a noise,
And jump so much more than they need,
(For of their boots they take no heed,
Or of the wear and tear of clothes,
As every father or mother knows,—
Nor is it our desire that they
Should anxious be, for we will pay),
As every father or mother knows,—
Nor is it our desire that they
Should anxious be, for we will pay),
I sometimes sit and ask myself,—
The book being laid upon the shelf,—
If I were young, which I would choose—
With boy or girl to change my shoes!
The book being laid upon the shelf,—
If I were young, which I would choose—
With boy or girl to change my shoes!
Sometimes I think I'd be a girl,
Because she has her hair in curl,
And wears gay colours, and nice boots,
With more variety in suits.
Because she has her hair in curl,
And wears gay colours, and nice boots,
With more variety in suits.
And boys are made of snips and snails
And such-like; also puppies' tails;
While girls are made of sugar, spice,
And everything there is that's nice.
And such-like; also puppies' tails;
While girls are made of sugar, spice,
And everything there is that's nice.
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But then if I a girl should be,
One pleasure would be lost to me,
The pleasure of admiring girls
Who go in gleaming clothes and curls.
[Here the Artist will draw a boy admiring a girl,
and saying out loud, “How beautiful you are!”
while another girl is looking, indifferent, and also
saying, loud enough for the reader to hear, “I do
not see much in her.”
One pleasure would be lost to me,
The pleasure of admiring girls
Who go in gleaming clothes and curls.
Now I this pleasure would not miss
For any other kind of bliss
That I can think of, all about
Those boys and girls who jump and shout.
For any other kind of bliss
That I can think of, all about
Those boys and girls who jump and shout.
To be a father is my choice,
And to have girls and also boys,
And I should be a happy man,
If they to make less noise would plan.
And to have girls and also boys,
And I should be a happy man,
If they to make less noise would plan.
Yet if they held their sounding tongues,
It were less wholesome for their lungs;
And if they motionless did sit,
Their muscles would be less well-knit.
It were less wholesome for their lungs;
And if they motionless did sit,
Their muscles would be less well-knit.
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They wear their boots out at the toes,
[Here the Artist will draw a resolute-looking bootmaker, demanding instantaneous payment of a lengthy account for children's shoes: the total I leave to his imagination.
And tear their garments, gracious knows;
[Here the Artist will draw several jackets ripped up the back and out at elbow, with trousers split at the knee; also frocks, pinafores, and bonnets in rags. Also an expert Needlewoman throwing down her thread and thimble, and exclaiming “Impracticable!” in a very audible tone of voice.
But I suppose this must proceed,
Whether I think, or write, or read.
[Here the Artist will represent the Noise proceeding,
while the poet thinks, writes, and reads all at
once, it being, I presume, impossible to express
with the pencil the force of the disjunctive.
[Here the Artist will draw a resolute-looking bootmaker, demanding instantaneous payment of a lengthy account for children's shoes: the total I leave to his imagination.
And tear their garments, gracious knows;
[Here the Artist will draw several jackets ripped up the back and out at elbow, with trousers split at the knee; also frocks, pinafores, and bonnets in rags. Also an expert Needlewoman throwing down her thread and thimble, and exclaiming “Impracticable!” in a very audible tone of voice.
But I suppose this must proceed,
Whether I think, or write, or read.
From all the land I hear the noise
Of those exulting girls and boys,
And I expect their sounding play
Will keep on till the judgment-day.
Of those exulting girls and boys,
And I expect their sounding play
Will keep on till the judgment-day.
110
Boys and girls, come out to play!
The moon it shines as bright as day!
Come with a whoop, come with a call,
Come with a good-will, or come not at all,
A twopenny loaf will serve us all!
Papa
(listening).
Twopenny loaf? That is an utter
Mistake. I know the bread-and-butter
That boys and girls eat. I delight
To know their hearty appetite.
Mistake. I know the bread-and-butter
That boys and girls eat. I delight
To know their hearty appetite.
I think these rhymes will do!
Enter Printer's Imp, four feet high, with a very dirty face and fingers.
Printer's Imp.
Hee, haw!
The Artist says he cannot draw
The pictures, sir!
Papa
(taking him by the collar).
How dare you laugh?
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Sister.
Oh, please, sir, don't! it is his chaff.
Papa
(sternly).
Chaff! What is chaff? I do ignore
It, save beside the threshing-floor.
Well, tell the Artist not to care;
Because the pictures we will spare.
Here, that's for you (tips them)
and you! Rejoice!
Be off, my dears—and make a noise!
[The Imp and his Sister depart, stamping, and jumping, and hurrahing.
Papa.
Just so. The book is on the shelf.
I shall go out and play, myself;
And make a noise.
[Exit.
Boys and Girls
(without).
Hurrah! hurrah!
Do make a back, you dear papa!
| Papa In The Study | |