University of Virginia Library

ACT I.

Scene.—Courtyard of Ko-Ko's Palace in Titipu. Japanese Nobles discovered standing and sitting in attitudes suggested by native drawings.
Enter Pish-Tush.
Pish.

And what may be your business with Yum-Yum?

Nank.

I'll tell you. A year ago I was a member of the
Titipu town band. It was my duty to take the cap round for
contributions. While discharging this delicate office, I saw
Yum-Yum. We loved each other at once, but she was betrothed
to her guardian, Ko-Ko, a cheap tailor, and I saw that
my suit was hopeless. Overwhelmed with despair, I quitted
the town. Judge of my delight when I heard, a month ago,
that Ko-Ko had been condemned to death for flirting! I
hurried back at once, in the hope of finding Yum-Yum at
liberty to listen to my protestations.

Pish.

It is true that Ko-Ko was condemned to death for
flirting; but he was reprieved at the last moment, and raised to
the exalted rank of Lord High Executioner under the following
remarkable circumstances:—

Song.—Pish-Tush.

Chorus.
And I expect, etc.

[Pish-Tush]

Chorus.
And you'll allow, as I expect, etc.

[Pish-Tush]

Chorus.
And they were right, etc.
[Exeunt Chorus.

Enter Pooh-Bah.
Nank.

Ko-Ko, the cheap tailor, Lord High Executioner of
Titipu! Why, that's the highest rank a citizen can attain!

Pooh.

It is. Our logical Mikado, seeing no moral difference
between the dignified judge, who condemns a criminal to die,
and the industrious mechanic who carries out the sentence, has
rolled the two offices into one, and every judge is now his own
executioner.

Nank.

But how good of you (for I see that you are a nobleman
of the highest rank) to condescend to tell all this to me,
a mere strolling minstrel!

Pooh.

Don't mention it. I am, in point of fact, a particularly
haughty and exclusive person, of pre-Adamite ancestral descent.
You will understand this when I tell you that I can trace my
ancestry back to a protoplasmal primordial atomic globule.
Consequently, my family pride is something inconceivable. I
can't help it. I was born sneering. But I struggle hard to overcome
this defect. I mortify my pride continually. When all
the great officers of State resigned in a body, because they were
too proud to serve under an ex-tailor, did I not unhesitatingly
accept all their posts at once?

Pish.

And the salaries attached to them? You did.

Pooh.

It is consequently my degrading duty to serve this
upstart as First Lord of the Treasury, Lord Chief Justice,
Commander-in-Chief, Lord High Admiral, Master of the Buckhounds,
Groom of the Back Stairs, Archbishop of Titipu, and
Lord Mayor, both acting and elect, all rolled into one. And at
a salary! A Pooh-Bah paid for his services! I a salaried
minion! But I do it! It revolts me, but I do it.

Nank.

And it does you credit.

Pooh.

But I don't stop at that. I go and dine with middle-class
people on reasonable terms. I dance at cheap suburban
parties for a moderate fee. I accept refreshment at any hands,
however lowly. I also retail State secrets at a very low figure.
For instance, any further information about Yum-Yum would
come under the head of a State secret. (Nanki-Poo takes the hint, and gives him money.) (Aside.)

Another insult, and, I
think, a light one!

Song.—Pooh-Bah.

All.
The brass will crash, etc.

Recitative.
Nank.
And have I journeyed for a month, or nearly,
To learn that Yum-Yum, whom I love so dearly,
This day to Ko-Ko is to be united!

Pooh.
The fact appears to be as you've recited:
But here he comes, equipped as suits his station;
He'll give you any further information.

Enter Ko-Ko, attended.
Chorus.
Behold the Lord High Executioner!
A personage of noble rank and title—
A dignified and potent officer,
Whose functions are particularly vital.
Defer, defer,
To the noble Lord High Executioner!

Solo.—Ko-Ko.
Taken from the county jail
By a set of curious chances;
Liberated then on bail,
On my own recognizances;
Wafted by a favouring gale
As one sometimes is in trances
To a height that few can scale,
Save by long and weary dances;
Surely, never had a male
Under such like circumstances
So adventurous a tale,
Which may rank with most romances.

Chorus.
Behold the Lord High Executioner, etc.

Ko.

Gentlemen, I'm much touched by this reception. I can
only trust that by strict attention to duty I shall ensure a continuance
of those favours which it will ever be my study to
deserve. Gentlemen, I expect my three beautiful wards, Yum-Yum,
Peep-Bo, and Pitti-Sing, in a few minutes. If you will
kindly receive them with a show of abject deference, I shall feel
obliged to you. I know how painful it must be to noblemen
of your rank to have to humiliate yourselves before a person of
my antecedents, but discipline must be observed. (Chorus bow and exeunt.)

Pooh-Bah, it seems that the festivities in connection
with my approaching marriage must last a week. I should
like to do it handsomely, and I want to consult you as to the
amount I ought to spend upon them.

Pooh.

Certainly. In which of my capacities? As First
Lord of the Treasury, Lord Chamberlain, Attorney-General,
Chancellor of the Exchequer, Privy Purse, or Private Secretary?

Ko.

Suppose we say as Private Secretary.

Pooh.

Speaking as your Private Secretary, I should say
that, as the city will have to pay for it, don't stint yourself,
do it well.

Ko.

Exactly—as the city will have to pay for it. That is
your advice.

Pooh.

As Private Secretary. Of course you will understand
that, as Chancellor of the Exchequer, I am bound to see that
due economy is observed.

Ko.

Oh. But you said just now “Don't stint yourself, do
it well.”

Pooh.

As Private Secretary.

Ko.

And now you say that due economy must be observed.

Pooh.

As Chancellor of the Exchequer.

Ko.

I see. Come over here, where the Chancellor can't hear
us. (They cross stage.)
Now, as my Solicitor, how do you
advise me to deal with this difficulty?

Pooh.

Oh, as your Solicitor, I should have no hesitation in
saying, “Chance it—”

Ko.

Thank you. (Shaking his hand.)
I will.

Pooh.

If it were not that, as Lord Chief Justice, I am bound
to see that the law isn't violated.

Ko.

I see. Come over here where the Chief Justice can't
hear us. (They cross the stage.)
Now, then, as First Lord of
the Treasury?

Pooh.

Of course, as First Lord of the Treasury, I could propose
a special vote that would cover all expenses, if it were not
that, as leader of the Opposition, it would be my duty to resist
it, tooth and nail. Or, as Paymaster-General, I could so cook
the accounts, that as Lord High Auditor I should never discover
the fraud. But then, as Archbishop of Titipu, it would be my
duty to denounce my dishonesty and give myself into my own
custody as First Commissioner of Police.

Ko.

That's extremely awkward.

Pooh.

I don't say that all these people couldn't be squared;
but it is right to tell you that I shouldn't be sufficiently degraded
in my own estimation unless I was insulted with a very considerable
bribe.

Ko.

The matter shall have my careful consideration. But
my bride and her sisters approach, and any little compliment
on your part, such as an abject grovel in a characteristic Japanese
attitude, would be esteemed a favour.

Enter procession of Yum-Yum's schoolfellows, heralding Yum-Yum, Peep-Bo, and Pitti-Sing.
Chorus.

Trio.—Yum-Yum, Peep-bo, and Pitti-Sing.
The Three.
Three little maids from school are we,
Pert as a schoolgirl well can be,
Filled to the brim with girlish glee,
Three little maids from school!

Yum-Yum.
Everything is a source of fun. (Chuckle)
.

Peep-Bo.
Nobody's safe, for we care for none! (Chuckle)
.

Pitti-Sing.
Life is a joke that's just begun! (Chuckle)
.

The Three.
Three little maids from school!

All
(dancing).
Three little maids who, all unwary,
Come from a ladies' seminary,
Freed from its genius tutelary—

The Three
(suddenly demure).
Three little maids from school!

Yum-Yum.
One little maid is a bride, Yum-Yum—

Peep-Bo.
Two little maids in attendance come—

Pitti-Sing.
Three little maids is the total sum.

The Three.
Three little maids from school!

Yum-Yum.
From three little maids take one away—

Peep-Bo.
Two little maids remain, and they—

Pitti-Sing.
Won't have to wait very long, they say—

The Three.
Three little maids from school!

All
(dancing).
Three little maids who, all unwary,
Come from a ladies' seminary.
Freed from its genius tutelary—

The Three
(suddenly demure).
Three little maids from school!

Ko.

At last, my bride that is to be! (About to embrace her.)

Yum.

You're not going to kiss me before all these people?

Ko.

Well, that was the idea.

Yum.
(aside to Peep-Bo).

It seems odd, don't it?

Peep.

It's rather peculiar.

Pitti.

Oh, I expect it's all right. Must have a beginning,
you know.

Yum.

Well, of course I know nothing about these things;
but I've no objection if it's usual.

Ko.

Oh, it's quite usual, I think. Eh, Lord Chamberlain? (Appealing to Pooh-Bah.)

Pooh.

I have known it done. (Ko-ko embraces her.)

Yum.

That's over! (Sees Nanki-Poo, and rushes to him).

Why, that's never you? The Three Girls rush to him and shake his hands, all speaking at once.)

Yum.

Oh, I'm so glad! I haven't seen you for ever so
long, and I'm right at the top of the school, and I've got
three prizes, and I've come home for good, and I'm not going
back any more!

Peep.

And have you got an engagement?—Yum-Yum's got
one, but she don't like it, and she'd ever so much rather it
was you. I've come home for good, and I'm not going back
any more!

Pitti.

Now tell us all the news, because you go about
everywhere, and we've been at school; but, thank goodness,
that's all over now, and we've come home for good, and we're
not going back any more!

[These three speeches are spoken together in one breath.
Ko.

I beg your pardon. Will you present me?

Yum.

Oh, this is the musician who used—

Peep.

Oh, this is the gentleman who used—

Pitti.

Oh, it is only Nanki-Poo who used—

Ko.

One at a time, if you please.

Yum.

He's the gentleman who used to play so beautifully on
the—on the—

Pitti.

On the Marine Parade.

Yum.

Yes, I think that was the name of the instrument.

Nank.

Sir, I have the misfortune to love your ward, Yum-Yum
—oh, I know I deserve your anger!

Ko.

Anger! Not a bit, my boy. Why, I love her myself.
Charming little girl, isn't she? Pretty eyes, nice hair. Taking
little thing, altogether. Very glad to hear my opinion backed
by a competent authority. Thank you very much. Good-bye,
(To Pish-Tush.)
Take him away. (Pish-Tush removes him.)

Pitti.
(who has been examining Pooh-Bah).

I beg your
pardon, but what is this? Customer come to try on?

Ko.

That is a Tremendous Swell. (She starts back in alarm.)

Pooh.

Go away, little girls. Can't talk to little girls like
you. Go away, there's dears.

Ko.

Allow me to present you, Pooh-Bah. These are my
three wards. The one in the middle is my bride elect.

Pooh.

What do you want me to do to them? Mind, I will
not kiss them.

Ko.

No, no, you shan't kiss them: a little bow—a mere
nothing—you needn't mean it, you know.

Pooh.

It goes against the grain. They are not young ladies,
they are young persons.

Ko.

Come, come, make an effort, there's a good nobleman.

Pooh
(aside to Ko-Ko).

Well, I shan't mean it. (With a great effort.)

How de do, How de do, little girls! (Aside.)
Oh, my
protoplasmal ancestor!

Ko.

That's very good. (Girls indulge in suppressed laughter.)

Pooh.

I see nothing to laugh at. It is very painful to me to
have to say “How de do, How de do, little girls,” to young
persons. I'm not in the habit of saying “How de do, How de
do, little girls” to anybody under the rank of a Stockbroker.

Ko.
(aside to Girls).

Don't laugh at him—he's under treatment
for it. (Aside to Pooh-Bah.)
Never mind them, they
don't understand the delicacy of your position.

Pooh.

We know how delicate it is, don't we?

Ko.

I should think we did! How a nobleman of your importance
can do it at all is a thing I never can, never shall
understand.

[Ko-Ko retires up and goes off.
Quartette and Chorus.
Yum-Yum, Peep-Bo, and Pitti-Sing.
So please you, sir, we much regret
If we have failed in etiquette
Towards a man of rank so high—
We shall know better by-and-by.
But youth, of course, must have its fling,
So pardon us,
So pardon us,
And don't in girlhood's happy spring,
Be hard on us,
Be hard on us,
If we're disposed to dance and sing,
Tra la la, etc. (Dancing.)


Chorus of Girls.
But youth of course, etc.

Pooh.
I think you ought to recollect
You cannot show too much respect
Towards the highly-titled few;
But nobody does, and why should you?
That youth at us should have its fling,
Is hard on us,
Is hard on us;
To our prerogative we cling—
So pardon us,
So pardon us,
If we decline to dance and sing—
Tra la la, etc. (Dancing.)


Chorus of Girls.
But youth, of course, must have its fling, etc.

[Exeunt all but Yum-Yum.
Yum.

How pitiable is the condition of a young and innocent
child brought from the gloom of a ladies' academy into the full
blown blaze of her own marriage ceremony; and with a man
for whom I care nothing! True, he loves me; but everybody
does that.

Enter Nanki-Poo.
Nank.

Yum-Yum, at last we are alone! I have sought you
night and day for three weeks, in the belief that your guardian
was beheaded, and I find that you are about to be married to
him this afternoon!

Yum.

Alas, yes!

Nank.

But you do not love him?

Yum.

Alas, no!

Nank.

Modified rapture! But why do you not refuse
him?

Yum.

What good would that do? He's my guardian, and
he wouldn't let me marry you!

Nank.

But I would wait until you were of age!

Yum.

You forget that in Japan girls do not arrive at years
of discretion until they are fifty.

Nank.

True; from seventeen to forty-nine are considered
years of indiscretion.

Yum.

Besides, a wandering minstrel, who plays a wind
instrument outside tea-houses, is hardly a fitting husband for
the ward of a Lord High Executioner.

Nank.

But— (Aside.)
Shall I tell her? Yes! She will
not betray me! (Aloud.)
What if it should prove that, after
all, I am no musician!

Yum.

There! I was certain of it, directly I heard you
play!

Nank.

What if it should prove that I am no other than the
son of his Majesty the Mikado?

Yum.

The son of the Mikado! But why is your Highness
disguised? And what has your Highness done? And will
your Highness promise never to do it again?

Nank.

Some years ago I had the misfortune to captivate
Katisha, an elderly lady of my father's court. She misconstrued
my customary affability into expressions of affection,
and claimed me in marriage, under my father's law. My

father, the Lucius Junius Brutus of his race, ordered me to
marry her within a week, or perish ignominiously on the
scaffold. That night I fled his court, and, assuming the
disguise of a Second Trombone, I joined the band in which you
found me when I had the happiness of seeing you! (Approaching her.)

Yum.
(retreating).

If you please, I think your Highness had
better not come too near. The laws against flirting are excessively
severe.

Nank.

But we are quite alone, and nobody can see us.

Yum.

Still that don't make it right. To flirt is illegal, and
we must obey the law.

Nank.

Deuce take the law!

Yum.

I wish it would, but it won't!

Nank.

If it were not for that, how happy we might be!

Yum.

Happy indeed!

Nank.

If it were not for the law, we should now be sitting
side by side, like that. (Sits by her.)

Yum.

Instead of being obliged to sit half a mile off, like
that. (Crosses and sits at other side of stage.)

Nank.

We should be gazing into each other's eyes, like that. (Approaching and gazing at her sentimentally.)

Yum.

Breathing vows of unutterable love—like that. (Sighing and gazing lovingly at him.)

Nank.

With our arms round each other's waists like that. (Embracing her.)

Yum.

Yes, if it wasn't for the law.

Nank.

If it wasn't for the law.

Yum.

As it is, of course, we couldn't do anything of the kind.

Nank.

Not for worlds!

Yum.

Being engaged to Ko-ko, you know!

Nank.

Being engaged to Ko-ko!

Nank.
So, in spite of all temptation,
Such a theme I'll not discuss,
And on no consideration
Will I kiss you fondly thus— (kissing her)

Let me make it clear to you,
This, oh, this, oh, this, oh, this— (kissing her)

This is what I'll never do!

[Exeunt in opposite directions
Enter Ko-ko.
Ko.
(looking after Yum-Yum).

There she goes! To think
how entirely my future happiness is wrapped up in that little
parcel! Really, it hardly seems worth while! Oh, matrimony!

Enter Pooh-Bah and Pish-Tush.

Now then, what is it? Can't you see I'm soliloquizing?
You have interrupted an apostrophe, sir!

Pish.

I am the bearer of a letter from His Majesty the Mikado.

Ko.
(taking it from him reverentially).

A letter from the
Mikado! What in the world can he have to say to me?
(Reads letter.)
Ah, here it is at last! I thought it would
come! The Mikado is struck by the fact that no executions
have taken place in Titipu for a year, and decrees that, unless
somebody is beheaded within one month, the post of Lord High
Executioner shall be abolished, and the city reduced to the
rank of a village!

Pish.

But that will involve us all in irretrievable ruin!

Ko.

Yes. There's no help for it, I shall have to execute
somebody. The only question is, who shall it be?

Pooh.

Well, it seems unkind to say so, but as you're already
under sentence of death for flirting, everything seems to point
to you.

Ko.

To me? What are you talking about? I can't execute
myself, Recorder!

Pooh.

Why not?

Ko.

Why not? Because, in the first place, self-decapitation
is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to
attempt; and, in the second, it's suicide, and suicide is a
capital offence.

Pooh.

That is so, no doubt.

Pish.

We might reserve that point.

Pooh.

True, it could be argued six months hence, before the
full Court.

Ko.

Besides, I don't see how a man can cut off his own head.

Pooh.

A man might try.

Pish.

Even if you only succeeded in cutting it half off, that
would be something.

Pooh.

It would be taken as an earnest of your desire to
comply with the Imperial will.

Ko.

No. Pardon me, but there I am adamant. As official
Headsman, my reputation is at stake, and I can't consent to
embark on a professional operation unless I see my way to a
successful result.

Pooh.

This professional conscientiousness is highly creditable
to you, but it places us in a very awkward position.

Ko.

My good sir, the awkwardness of your position is grace
itself compared with that of a man engaged in the act of cutting
off his own head.

Pish.

I am afraid that, unless you can obtain a substitute—

Ko.

A substitue? Oh, certainly—nothing easier. (To Pooh-Bah.)

Pooh-Bah, I appoint you my substitute.

Pooh.

I should like it above all things. Such an appointment
would realize my fondest dreams. But no, at any
sacrifice, I must set bounds to my insatiable ambition!

Trio.
Ko-Ko.
My brain it teems
With endless schemes,
Both good and new
For Titipu;
But if I flit,
The benefit
That I'd diffuse
The town would lose!
Now every man
To aid his clan
Should plot and plan
As well as he can,
And so,
Although
I'm ready to go,
Yet recollect
'Twere disrespect
Did I neglect
To thus effect
This aim direct,
So I object—
So I object—
So I object—

Pooh-Bah.
I am so proud,
If I allowed
My family pride
To be my guide,
I'd volunteer
To quit this sphere
Instead of you,
In a minute or two,
But family pride
Must be denied,
And set aside,
And mortified,
And so,
Although
I wish to go,
And greatly pine
To brightly shine,
And take the line
Of a hero fine,
With grief condign
I must decline—
I must decline—
I must decline—

Pish-Tush.
I heard one day,
A gentleman say
That criminals who
Are cut in two
Can hardly feel
The fatal steel,
And so are slain
Without much pain.
If this is true
It's jolly for you;
Your courage screw
To bid us adieu,
And go
And show
Both friend and foe
How much you dare,
I'm quite aware
It's your affair,
Yet I declare
I'd take your share,
But I don't much care—
I don't much care—
I don't much care—

All.
To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark dock,
In a pestilential prison, with a life-long lock,
Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp shock,
From a cheap and chippy chopper on a big black block!

[Exeunt all but Ko-Ko.
Ko.

This is simply appalling! I, who allowed myself to be
respited at the last moment, simply in order to benefit my
native town, am now required to die within a month, and that
by a man whom I have loaded with honours! Is this public
gratitude? Is this—

Enter Nanki-Poo, with a rope in his hands.

Go away, sir? How dare you? Am I never to be permitted
to soliloquize?

Nank.

Oh, go on—don't mind me.

Ko.

What are you going to do with that rope?

Nank.

I am about to terminate an unendurable existence.

Ko.

Terminate your existence? Oh, nonsense! What for!

Nank.

Because you are going to marry the girl I adore.

Ko.

Nonsense, sir. I won't permit it. I am a humane man,
and if you attempt anything of the kind I shall order your
instant arrest. Come, sir, desist at once, or I summon my guard.

Nank.

That's absurd. If you attempt to raise an alarm, I
instantly perform the Happy Despatch with this dagger.

Ko.

No, no, don't do that. This is horrible! (Suddenly.)

Why, you cold-blooded scoundrel, are you aware that, in taking
your life, you are committing a crime which—which—which
is—Oh! (Struck by an idea.)

Nank.

What's the matter?

Ko.

Is it absolutely certain that you are resolved to die?

Nank.

Absolutely!

Ko.

Will nothing shake your resolution?

Nank.

Nothing.

Ko.

Threats, entreaties, prayers—all useless?

Nank.

All! My mind is made up.

Ko.

Then, if you really mean what you say, and if you are
absolutely resolved to die, and if nothing whatever will shake
your determination—don't spoil yourself by committing
suicide, but be beheaded handsomely at the hands of the Public
Executioner!

Nank.

I don't see how that would benefit me.

Ko.

You don't? Observe: you'll have a month to live, and
you'll live like a fighting-cock at my expense. When the day
comes, there'll be a grand public ceremonial—you'll be the
central figure—no one will attempt to deprive you of that
distinction. There'll be a procession—bands—dead march—
bells tolling—all the girls in tears—Yum-Yum distracted—
then, when it's all over, general rejoicings, and a display of
fireworks in the evening. You won't see them, but they'll be
there all the same.

Nank.

Do you think Yum-Yum would really be distracted
at my death?

Ko.

I am convinced of it. Bless you, she's the most tender-hearted
little creature alive.

Nank.

I should be sorry to cause her pain. Perhaps, after
all, if I were to withdraw from Japan, and travel in Europe
for a couple of years, I might contrive to forget her.

Ko.

Oh, I don't think you could forget Yum-Yum so easily,
and, after all, what is more miserable than a love-blighted life?

Nank.

True.

Ko.

Life without Yum-Yum—why, it seems absurd!

Nank.

And yet there are a good many people in the world
who have to endure it.

Ko.

Poor devils, yes! You are quite right not to be of their
number.

Nank.
(suddenly).

I won't be of their number!

Ko.

Noble fellow!

Nank.

I'll tell you how we'll manage it. Let me marry
Yum-Yum to-morrow, and in a month you may behead me.

Ko.

No, no. I draw the line at Yum-Yum.

Nank.

Very good. If you can draw the line, so can I. (Preparing rope.)

Ko.

Stop, stop—listen one moment—be reasonable. How
can I consent to your marrying Yum-Yum, if I'm going to
marry her myself?

Nank.

My good friend, she'll be a widow in a month, and
you can marry her then.

Ko.

That's true, of course. I quite see that, but, dear me, my
position during the next month will be most unpleasant—most
unpleasant!

Nank.

Not half so unpleasant as my position at the end of it.

Ko.

But—dear me—well—I agree. After all, it's only
putting off my wedding for a month. But you won't prejudice
her against me, will you? You see, I've educated her to be
my wife; she's been taught to regard me as a wise and good
man. Now, I shouldn't like her views on that point disturbed.

Nank.

Trust me, she shall never learn the truth from me.

Finale.
Enter Chorus, Pooh-Bah, and Pish-Tush.
Chorus.

Pooh.
To ask you what you mean to do we punctually appear.

Ko.
Congratulate me, gentlemen, I've found a Volunteer!

All.
The Japanese equivalent for Hear, Hear, Hear!

Ko.
(presenting him).
'Tis Nanki-Pooh!

All.
Hail, Nanki-Pooh!

Ko.
I think he'll do?

All.
Yes, yes, he'll do!

Ko.
He yields his life if I'll Yum-Yum surrender;
Now, I adore that girl with passion tender,
And could not yield her with a ready will,
Or her allot,
If I did not
Adore myself with passion tenderer still!

All.
Ah, yes!
He loves himself with passion tenderer still!

Ko.
(to Nanki-Poo.)
Take her—she's yours!

Enter Yum-Yum, Peep-Bo, and Pitti-Sing.
Nank. and Yum-Yum.
Oh, rapture!

Ensemble.
Yum-Yum and Nanki-Poo.
The threatened cloud has passed away,
And brightly shines the dawning day;
What though the night may come too soon,
There's yet a month of afternoon!
Then let the throng
Our joy advance,
With laughing song,
And merry dance,
With joyous shout and ringing cheer,
Inaugurate our brief career!

Chorus.
Then let the throng, etc.

Pitti-Sing.
A day, a week, a month, a year—
Or be it far, or be it near,
Life's eventime comes much too soon
You'll live at least a honeymoon!

All.
Then let the throng, etc.

Solo.—Pooh-Bah.
As in three weeks you've got to die,
If Ko-Ko tells us true,
'Twere empty compliment to cry
Long life to Nanki-Poo!
But as you've got three weeks to live
As fellow citizen,
This toast with three times three we'll give—
“Long life to you—till then!”

Chorus.
May all good fortune prosper you,
May you have health and riches too,
May you succeed in all you do.
Long life to you—till then!

Dance.
Enter Katisha, melodramatically.
Kat.
Your revels cease—assist me all of you!

Chorus.
Why, who is this whose evil eyes
Rain blight on our festivities?

Kat.
I claim my perjured lover, Nanki-Poo!
Oh, fool! to shun delights that never cloy!
Come back, oh, shallow fool! come back to joy!

Chorus.
Go, leave thy deadly work undone;
Away, away! ill-favoured one!

Nank.
(aside to Yum-Yum).
Ah!
'Tis Katisha!
The maid of whom I told you. (About to go.)


Kat.
(detaining him).
No!
You shall not go,
These arms shall thus enfold you!

Song.—Katisha.
(Addressing Nanki-Poo.)
Oh fool, that fleest
My hallowed joys!
Oh blind, that seest
No equipoise!
Oh rash, that judgest
From half, the whole!
Oh base, that grudgest
Love's lightest dole!
Thy heart unbind,
Oh fool, oh blind!
Give me my place,
Oh rash, oh base!

Chorus.
If she's thy bride, restore her place,
Oh fool, oh blind, oh rash, oh base!

Kat
(addressing Yum-Yum).
Pink cheek, that rulest
Where wisdom serves!
Bright eye, that foolest
Steel-tempered nerves;
Rose-lip, that scornest
Lore-laden years—
Sweet tongue, that warnest
Who rightly hears—
Thy doom is nigh,
Pink cheek, bright eye!
Thy knell is rung,
Rose-lip, sweet tongue.

Chorus.
If true her tale, thy knell is rung,
Pink cheek, bright eye, rose-lip, sweet tongue!

Pitti-Sing.
Away, nor prosecute your quest—
From our intention well expressed,
You cannot turn us!
The state of your connubial views
Towards the person you accuse
Does not concern us!
For he's going to marry Yum-Yum—

All.
Yum-Yum!

Pitti.
Your anger pray bury,
For all will be merry,
I think you had better succumb—

All.
Cumb—cumb!

Pitti.
And join our expressions of glee,
On this subject I pray you be dumb—

All.
Dumb—dumb.

Pitti.
You'll find there are many
Who'll wed for a penny—
The word for your guidance is, “Mum”—

All.
Mum—mum!

Pitti.
There's lots of good fish in the sea!

All.
There's lots of good fish in the sea!
And you'll find there are many, etc.

Solo.—Katisha.
The hour of gladness
Is dead and gone;
In silent sadness
I live alone!
The hope I cherished
All lifeless lies,
And all has perished
Save love, which never dies!
Oh, faithless one, this insult you shall rue!
In vain for mercy on your knees you'll sue.
I'll tear the mask from you disguising!

Nank.
(aside).
Now comes the blow!

Kat.
Prepare yourself for news surprising!

Nank.
(aside).
How foil my foe?

Kat.
No minstrel he, despite bravado!

Yum.
(aside, struck by an idea).
Ha! ha! I know!

Kat.
He is the son of your—
[Nanki-Poo and Yum-Yum, interrupting, sing Japanese words to drown her voice.
O ni! bikkuri shakkuri to!
O sa! bikkuri shakkuri to!

Kat.
In vain you interrupt with this tornado:
He is the only son of your—

All.
O ni! bikkuri shakkuri to!

Kat.
I'll spoil—

All.
O ni! bikkuri shakkuri to!

Kat.
Your gay gambado!
He is the son—

All.
O ni! bikkuri shakkuri to!

Kat.
Of your—

All.
O ni! bikkuri shakkuri to!

Ensemble.
Katisha.
Ye torrents roar!
Ye tempests howl!
Your wrath outpour
With angry growl!
Do ye your worst, my vengeance call
Shall rise triumphant over all!
Prepare for woe,
Ye haughty lords,
At once I go
Mikado-wards,
And when he learns his son is found,
My wrongs with vengeance will be crowned!

The Others.
We'll hear no more
Ill-omened owl,
To joy we soar,
Despite your scowl
The echoes of our festival
Shall rise triumphant over all!
Away you go,
Collect your hordes;
Proclaim your woe
In dismal chords;
We do not heed their dismal sound,
For joy reigns everywhere around!

[Katisha rushes furiously up stage, clearing the crowd away right and left, finishing on steps at the back of stage.