University of Virginia Library

SCENE VII.

Pisthetærus,  Chorus , an Informer.
Informer.
‘What birds are these, with plumes so gay,
That live of nought possest?
O wide-wing'd swallow, pause, and say,
Upon thy speckled breast.’

Pisthetærus.
No slight annoyance this that we have stirr'd.
Here comes another in the sing-song mood.

Informer.
‘O wide-wing'd swallow, pause again
Upon thy speckled breast.’

Pisthetærus.
Methinks he hums a catch for his own doublet,
That's worn so bare he had need of many swallows
To keep the cold out.

Informer.
Who's he that wings the comers?

Pisthetærus.
Here is he. But thou must say what thou'dst have.

Informer.
Wings, wings. Ask not a second time.

Pisthetærus.
Dost think, then,
To fly with them direct unto Pellene?

Informer.
Not so, by Jove. But I am an informer,
That seek defaulters through our friendly isles,
And summon them to justice.

Pisthetærus.
Blessed trade!

Informer.
Now in this my office of a pettifogger
Some wings would serve me well to whir about,
When I go round on my citations.

Pisthetærus.
And couldst thou cite the better for thy wings?

Informer.
Not so, by Jove! but that, to avoid pirates,
I may return thence with the cranes. The lawsuits
I shall have swallow'd down will serve for ballast.

Pisthetærus.
Is this thy occupation? is thy youth
Employ'd in this vile service of informing?

Informer.
What should I do? I know not how to dig.

Pisthetærus.
But there are other decent ways, by Jove,
Which one of thy age should live honestly by,
Rather than pandering for the hungry courts.

Informer.
Good sir, I came for wings, and not for counsel.

Pisthetærus.
I now, in thus discoursing, wing thee.

Informer.
How?
Could a man be wing'd with discourses?

Pisthetærus.
All are so.

Informer.
All?

Pisthetærus.
Hast thou never heard what every where
Fathers do say to the boys in barbers' shops?
‘My son is on the wing for chariot-driving,
Plague on it! This is what Diitriphes' discourse
Has done for him.’ Another tells you, ‘his
Has had his mind fly off to tragedies,
And that his thoughts still hover o'er the stage.’

Informer.
And doth discourse indeed give wings?

Pisthetærus.
Believe me, does it;
Raises the soul aloft, and lifteth up
The very man. And so I now am willing,
By good discourse, to give thee wings, and turn
To lawful acting.

Informer.
But I'm not willing, I.

Pisthetærus.
What wilt thou do?

Informer.
I will not shame my breeding.
The informer's life is that my fathers left me.
Give me then wings, and be they swift and light,
A hawk's, or mousing owl's, that having cited
Our island friends, and then accused them here,
I then again may fly back there.

Pisthetærus.
I understand.
Thou mean'st it thus: that he should be cast and fined,
The islander, ere he come.

Informer.
Right, right; thou understand'st.

Pisthetærus.
Then he sails hither, and thou fly'st back there
To seize upon his goods.

Informer.
Thou hast it all.
I must in nothing differ from a top.

Pisthetærus.
I understand: a top. And here, by Jove,
I have some excellent Corcyræan wings.

Informer.
Mercy! thou hast a whip.

Pisthetærus.
And therein the wings,
With which this day I'll make thee spin.

Informer.
Oh mercy!
Wretch that I am!

Pisthetærus.
Wilt thou not wing thee hence?
Wilt not drop off, thou most accursed villain?
I'll show thee a twist-whirligig of justice.
Come, let us gather up the wings, and go.

[Exeunt Pisthetærus and Informer.
 Chorus .