University of Virginia Library

Scene First.

—Gardens of the Palace—Wings of the Palace brilliantly illuminated and a fountain in the distance—Night.
Ladies and Gentlemen discovered dancing; after which enter Guards, Queen, Princess Allfair, Meliodorus, Blaze, Sugar, Tung-Long, Meer Gaum, Prince Bonbon, Baron Lowbow, Courtiers, &c.
Queen.
Sure of all fêtes, since fêtes, were first invented,
One so superb was ne'er at Court presented.

Mel.
Your gracious Majesty is pleased to flatter;
In my land we make light of such a matter.

Queen.
Make light? Illuminations such a sight of,
Can only, sir, in one sense be made light of.
And then the concert, fireworks, and the ball,
Surpassing Jullien's, Cremorne, Vauxhall—
Not to say anything of the collation!

Mel.
Enchanted that it's met your approbation.
If your fair daughter—of all belles the belle,
But thought it pretty—

Allf.
Well, 'twas pretty well.

Mel.
Oh rapture! to the world the tidings tell,
The Princess has pronounced it pretty well!
Bear it, ye zephyrs, over hill and plain,
And let the echoes bear it back again!
Till every rugged rock has learned to spell,
And can repeat distinctly, “pretty well!”
Air—Meliodorus—“Yes! 'tis a spell.”
Oh, proudest day, or rather proudest night,
Of my existence! if presume I might
To hope this trifling proof of my affection
Would move your heart gently in this direction!

Allf.
My heart is not inclined to move this quarter.

Queen.
I'm really quite astonished at you, daughter!
I can't imagine, Allfair, how you can
Snub such a very nice and rich young man;
The King of all the Gold Mines in the earth—
Impossible to say how much he's worth!

Allf.
For any other he might be a catch;
But I'm a Princess, difficult to match.

Queen.
I know you are, my pet, I always said so!
But, dearest child, I do want you to wed so!

Allf.
Why?

Queen.
I would see you happy.

Allf.
Happy? La!
I'm very happy as I am, mamma.

Queen.
Is there not one, in all this princely train
Of lovers, who may hope your heart to gain?

Allf.
Not one! They only waste their breath in wooing.

Queen.
(aside)
It serves me right—it's my own foolish doing
Ne'er from her cradle has she known correction,
But still been taught to think herself perfection.
Weakly I kissed, instead of daily cuffing her,—
Ne'er blew her up, but was for ever puffing her.
And now, alas! her arrogance and vanity
Amount almost to something like insanity!
(aloud)
Shall I ne'er see thee made a joyful wife

Allf.
A joyful maid; I mean to pass my life
In single blessedness—a matchless fair,
Like chaste Diana, whose costume I wear.

Mel.
But even chaste Diana had her bow.

Allf.
A bow will bend—a husband mayn't do so.

Queen.
Alas! you'll bend your beaux until they break.

Sugar.
I would draw you for Queen of my Twelfth Cake!

Allf.
I should feel more obliged if you'd with-draw.

Blaze.
Most brilliant Princess!—gem without a flaw!
As Queen of Diamonds wilt thou not be hailed?

Allf.
You'd best cut, Diamonds,—your suit has failed.

Tung.
O'er Currant Tartary decide to reign!

Allf.
You'll catch a Tartar if you long remain.

Meer.
Rajah of Jam Jellee, to you I stick!

Allf.
“Ohe jam satis.” Sir, of you I'm sick.

Bon.
Come, share my pretty box—my bonbonière.

Allf.
Sweet sir, I should be in the wrong box there.

Bon.
Your heart's a block of ice.

Allf.
It is, sir, one
Which can't be melted by your father's son.
In brief, your time away you all are throwing,
So stand not on the order of your going,
But go at once,—as some one said before.
My lord, (to Baron)
shew all these gentlemen—the door.

Ensemble—“Katty did”—Polka.
Allf.

Mel. and Rivals.

Allf.
If you don't hurry you'll miss the last train.

Mel.
Rather in yours let me remain!

Allf.
No; there's a terminus to that line.

Mel.
Then with a cord I shall terminate mine!

Allf.
Bow 'em out, &c.

Mel. and Rivals.
Bow us out, &c.

Exeunt Lovers (shewn out by Baron) and Queen and Court, on opposite sides.