University of Virginia Library

ACT II.

Scene First.

—A Wilderness in Hi-ho-che-vee.
Enter Tan-ti-vee and Native Hunters.
Air—Tan-ti-vee—“The Crystal Hunters.”
In search of sport—of any sort,
The Indian Hunter bounds along,
And to his blind “untutored mind”
It don't appear he's doing wrong,
But wiser he will be some day,
When for his license made to pay!
In search of sport, &c.

Enter Prince Felix.
Prince.
Friends, sportsmen, countrymen, and very rum'uns,
Lend me your ears!

Tan.
A most facetious summons.
Perhaps the gentleman will next propose
To borrow some good-natured person's nose.

Prince.
I ask you not to crop a single pair,
I know you've literally none to spare;
Your ears but figuratively I'd borrow,
To pour into them a poor prince's sorrow.

Tan.
Were you a rich prince, we'd, to hear you, stay;
But as you are a poor one, sir, good-day.

(going)
Prince.
Not poor in purse, witness the one I fling
Amongst you!

(flings them a heavy purse)
Tan.
Oh, that's quite another thing!
We didn't understand you, sir, before.

Prince.
I feel indeed I'm on a foreign shore;
Your language and your manners are most strange,
The very sight of gold seems both to change.

Tan.
Anything strange in that can you discover?
I fancied it was so all the world over.

Prince.
Not where I come from. Gold we value at
Less price than merit.

Tan.
Where on earth is that?

Prince.
In Happy Land, where love's the only care.

Tan.
(to his companions)
Poor fellow, he's as mad as a March hare.
I thought so, when he gave us so much money;
I like to hear him talk though, it's quite funny.
(to Prince)
What lured you from that Happy Land away?

Prince.
Love! which has led so many men astray.
To meet my bride I rode in royal state,
But scarce a mile from out the city gate,
A whirlwind rose, which swept away my train,
And carried me o'er mountain, and o'er plain,
Into this wilderness. About its ways
I've wander'd, as I may say, in a maze.
No food but nuts, if food you that can call,
Which really I'm not nuts upon at all.

Tan.
Well, as it seems you can afford to pay—
What can we do to serve your Highness, pray?

Prince.
Say where I am, and which the nearest road,
By which I can regain my own abode?

Tan.
Why, here you are, but which the road to where
You say you dwell, that's neither here nor there.

Prince.
Alas! your information's very small,
It actually amounts to none at all:
This land must have a name?

Tan.
Oh yes, this place
Is called amongst us, Hi-ho-che-vee Chase;
The famous hunting grounds, as you must know,
Of the great sporting tribe of Tal-lee-ho.

Prince.
(aside)
Methinks I've somewhere heard of “High-ho-Chivy.”
What is your name, pray?

Tan.
My name is Tan-ti-vee,
A native chief, and to the manor born,
I trace my line from Nimrod, through French Horn!

Prince.
(aside)
A line through a French horn cannot be straight.

Tan.
But we shall lose the game, if here we wait.
All sorts of folks come on our manor poaching,
There's a Grand Duke has just begun encroaching;
And by-and-bye, no doubt, these new deer-stalkers
Will designate our tribe unlicensed hawkers,
And ride rough shod over the poor old nation,
In the true spirit of colonisation.

Prince.
A Grand Duke! should it be my pa-in-law!

Tan.
Can't say—because the chap we never saw.

(going)
Prince.
But will you leave me of the fact in doubt?

Tan.
Well, take this bow and try and hunt him out.

(Exeunt Tan-ti-vee and Hunters)
Prince.
Air—Prince—“Dearest May.”

(Exit)
(music—The couch of flowers, with Floretta on it, glides on guided by Fairies)
Flor.
(waking and rubbing her eyes)
Bless me! I've overslept myself! oh! murder!
My lady's rung her bell, and I've not heard her!
What's this? and where? daylight! and out of doors;
Ah! I remember, those vile blackamoors,
And blacker mistress, with her base black art,
Who turned, like a poor deer, out of a cart,
My dear young Princess, to become the prey
Of the first wicked dog that runs that way!
Oh, wretched fate!
(clasping her hands)
(music—The Fairy Pine-Apple appears)
Ugh! lud! who's this I see?

Pine.
You needn't be alarmed, it's only me.

Flor.
Who's me, for goodness sake?

Pine.
You ought to know,
Since you invoked my presence!

Flor.
I, how so?

Pine.
By rubbing of that ring upon your finger!
Where'er I am, I ne'er a second linger,
But to the wearer fly with lightning speed.

Flor.
I didn't mean to do it, ma'am, indeed!

Pine.
(smiling)
I know, you never dream'd of such a thing,
In wringing of your hands you rubbed the ring,
And I obeyed the summons. Now we've met,
What can I do to serve you?

Flor.
Let me get
My breath first, for you've taken that away.

Pine.
You'd like to see your mistress, I dare say.

Flor.
Oh! yes, indeed, ma'am, if you'd be so good,
Of all things in the universe, I should!
Music—Some fern and underwood open and discover the White Fawn couched in it.
Ah! the dear creature! Might I nearer peep
Without disturbing it?

Pine.
Yes!

Flor.
Could I creep
Just close enough to kiss it, madam?

Pine.
Go!

Flor.
But won't it rise and run away then?

Pine.
No!

Floretta approaches the Fawn cautiously, stoops and kisses it—The Fawn lifts its head, and seems to return the salute.
Flor.
O joy! it knows me! See, it licks my face!
And big round pearly drops each other chase
A' down its innocent nose! How can one cheer
Its heavy heart? Don't cry so, there's a deer!
I'll stay beside, and pet, and wash, and curry it,
And nasty dogs shall never come and worry it.

Pine.
I have the power this poor Princess's fate
In some degree, perhaps, to mitigate.
At set of sun her shape regain she may,
But be a fawn again at break of day;
If this small boon would gratify you, say so.

Flor.
And may she change back every night?

Pine.
She may so.

Flor.
Oh, then, with rapture we accept the boon!

Pine.
'Tis well. The sun is setting now. As soon
As its last rays shall fade from sea and land,
Desiderata shall before you stand.

(music)
Flor.
'Tis going! going! gone!
At the moment the sun is supposed to set, the stage darkens, and the Fawn changes to the Princess Desiderata.
Oh, joy transcendant!
My darling mistress!

Desi.
My attached attendant!
Help me to thank my fairy benefactress!

Pine.
Nay, in this scene Floretta's the chief actress,
Twice has the ring she wears displayed its might—
But you will want some lodgings for the night;
So on the spot I'll build a model cottage,
In which to make your beds and cook your pottage.
Music—Cottage appears.
Farewell, and of your time the best use make—
With day, a fawn again you must awake.

Trio—Princess, Floretta, and Fairy Pine-Apple.
Air—“A Life by the Galley Fire.”
A life in a deer's attire,
Where the coppice is thick and wild,
Is not what you'd/I'd quite desire,
Nor at all what suits this child.
But your/my doom to mitigate
And assuage your/my servant's woe,
Each night you'll/we'll be tête-à-tête,
Though by day you/I must doze a doe.

(At the end of the trio exit Fairy Pine-Apple)
Flor.
My feelings to describe I strive in vain,
I never thought to hear you speak again!

Desi.
And I can't tell you even with the tongue
Which I've recovered, how my heart was wrung
To find myself made such a beast by some one,
And for a lady—worse than all, a dumb one!

Flor.
Oh, 'twas as wicked, madam, as improper,
To put upon that lovely jaw a stopper;
On four legs it was bad enough to walk,
But not to be allowed even to talk!
The cruel stars what had you done to vex
That they had no compassion for your sex.

Desi.
And then the danger! as a deer, incog.,
Without a word left to throw at a dog!

Flor.
So shocking, too, to wander in your mere skin
About the woods, although it was a deer-skin;
And feel that in the form that you possessed,
You must be killed before you could be dressed.

Desi.
Would I were dead, and made into a pasty!

Flor.
Nay, sweetest mistress, that wish is too hasty.
Let's in and rest; you'll find a bed of feather
Much more agreeable than a bed of heather.
If as a stricken deer you weep all day,
At night let your poor heart ungallèd play.

Duet—Princess and Floretta—Air, “All around the Maypole”—“Midas.”
All around the green wood here to trot,
Sad lot!—Ev'ry day you've/I've got!
Dawning morning gives you/me warning,
Then/Go rest you'd/I'd best in this cot,
Till around the green wood here to trot,
Sad lot!—you're/I'm off like a shot!

(Exeunt into the cottage)

Scene Second.

—Interior of a Hunting Lodge, or Gamekeeper's Hut.
Enter Grand Duke, followed by Page.
Duke.
“To chase the deer with hound and horn,” one day,
The ballad says, “Earl Percy took his way.”
And so far am I like that great Earl Percy.
But in the sequel it's quite vice-versy;
He died for glory, as that whim they call,
Now I for glory never died at all!
Still some resemblance e'en in that may be
Found in one sense between Lord P. and me.
'Twas the last thing he did, and 'tis most true,
'Tis the last thing that I intend to do!
To the black game of war I ne'er was partial;
My court is anything but a court-martial.
When I go shooting I do not desire
That anybody should return my fire;
I like a long shot at a stag of ten—
A buck that cannot shoot at me again!
And I've come here to get one—what's o'clock?
Enter Staffhold.
Who's there?

Staff.
'Tis I! the early village cock
Hath thrice done salutation to the morn!

Duke.
Then blow those rogues! why don't they blow the horn,
And let us start?

Staff.
You'll start, sir, fast enough,
When you have heard the tidings.

Duke.
Don't talk stuff
To frighten me—you look as pale, for certain,
As he who drew one night King Priam's curtain,
And would have shouted “Fire!” but for choking,
While Priam's nightcap was already smoking.

Staff.
Your loss, I fear, is great as that of Priam.

Duke.
It can't be—he was not insured, and I am!

Staff.
Your goods may be insured from fire or water,
But did your policy include your daughter?

Duke.
Daughter—you didn't say my daughter—don't!

Staff.
You haven't got one now, sir, so I won't.

Duke.
'Tis false! we lose a son who takes a wife—
Our daughter is our daughter all her life.

Staff.
The whiles in Black Gang Chine a halt they made,
A band of darkies sang a serenade;
To the wild air they sang an air succeeded,
Which was much wilder than the Princess needed;
It tore her carriage all to little bits,
Frightened the Guard of Honour into fits!
And when their scattered senses they collected,
No trace could of her Highness be detected.

Duke.
The spell, the fatal spell! 'tis clear as day,
She's fallen a victim to that shell-fish fay!
She saw the light, and ah! “Light come, light go.”

Staff.
Some swear they saw a beautiful white doe
Into a thicket from the carriage bound.

Duke.
Desiderata, for a thousand pound;
And I, and I, oh miserable sire,
Who was so eager at some deer to fire,
In luckless hour I might have shot my daughter,
And been for life transported for manslaughter!
Or lived to see the last of all my race,
Carefully stuff'd and stuck in a glass case.
But still she is in peril just as great,
Some desperate poacher on his own estate—
Some lawless Aboriginal intruder,
May through these woods already have pursued her!
And you stand gaping there, you rascal, run,
Muzzle each dog, and seize on every gun;
On pain of death, let any hunter dare
To fire, even at nothing, in the air.
(Exit Officer)
And you (to Page)
for pen and ink this instant fly,
Page draws on table with writing materials)
(writes hastily)
Get this inserted in the “Hue and Cry,“
“Lost, stolen, or strayed on the high road to marriage,
A handsome young Princess, out of her carriage;
Had on when she was last seen a plain white
Jacket of doe skin, fitting very tight;
Vest and continuations of the same,
Goes on four legs, each of them being game.
Whoever finds and brings the pretty deer
Alive and kicking to her parents here,
Shall be rewarded”—not with dirty pelf—
We permit virtue to reward itself!

(Exit Page)
Duo—Grand Duke and Staffhold.
Air—“Dandy Jim.”
Staff.

Duke.

(Exeunt Duke and Staffhold)

Scene Third.

—The Forest.
Enter Floretta.
Flor.
Air—Floretta—“The Gipsy Tent.”
(looking off)
Footsteps!—a young man running through the wood.
What game's he after?—I'll be sworn no good.
I vow the horrid monster's got a bow!

Enter Prince Felix, with bow and arrow.
Prince.
Have you seen a white deer, ma'am?

Flor.
Dear sir, no!

Prince.
Did not one pass this way? a doe—a hind—
A fawn—a—

Flor.
No, sir, nothing of the kind.
(aside)
He has been hunting her!—I must invent
Some story, which may put him off the scent.

Prince.
Provoking! 'twas the prettiest little thing!
I found it drinking at yon crystal spring;
At sight of me it started—stood at gaze
An instant—then in many pretty ways
Expressed—it really seemed—joy at our meeting
But still as I advanced, it kept retreating,
Until perceiving me about to fling
Around its neck this little silken string,
It cleared the bushes at a bound, and flew
Like lightning from me!

Flor.
Very proper too.

Prince.
Proper! I took my bow—

Flor.
You didn't shoot?

Prince.
I didn't mean, of course, to kill the brute.

Flor.
The brute!

Prince.
If not a brute, what should it be?

Flor.
If you have killed her, you're the brute, not she.

Prince.
Civil, I vow—but moderate your ire,
And hear my story out—I didn't fire;
She was too quick for me, and in the brake
Had vanished ere a sure aim I could take.

Flor.
A sure aim! Why, then, there! you own you would
Have killed the poor dear creature, if you could.

Prince.
You silly woman, I have told you no.
I am a crack shot both with gun and bow;
And if I get a chance again, you'll see
I'll pin it, through one ear, against a tree,
And so catch it alive.

Flor.
Let me catch you
At such a trick; you'll catch it if I do.

Duo—Prince and Floretta.
Air—“In son ricco.”
Prince.

Flor.

Prince.

Flor.

Prince.
Hush!

Flor.
I won't hush!

Prince.
For your life, not a word,
A rustling in that bush I'm sure I heard.

Music—The head of the Fawn appears for an instant above the bush, the next minute it is seen to leap through a gap, and is lost amidst the trees.
Prince.
Yes! there it is—and there! yoicks! gone away!

(aims and shoots)
Flor.
Murder! he's going to shoot. Oh, don't sir, pray!

Prince.
Hit her, or my name isn't Felix!

Flor.
What!
Felix, Prince Felix?

Prince.
Yes!

Flor.
Then if you've shot
That fawn, and nailed it bleeding to a tree,
You've done for Mrs. F. that was to be.

(runs out)
Prince.
I've done for Mrs. F! The woman's mad!
And who is Mrs. F. suppose I had?
Pooh, bother Mrs. F! Whilst here I'm guessing
That crazy wench my venison will be dressing!

(music—Exit Prince, after Floretta, hastily)

Scene Fourth.

—A deeper part of the Wood.
Enter Prince Felix, meeting the Ambassador.
Amb.
Prince Felix!

Prince.
Ha! that voice! that face! Count Klever!

Amb.
The same, my lord, and your poor servant ever.

Prince.
What wind has blown you into this strange wood?

Amb.
Alas! an ill wind, sir, that blows no good.

Prince.
I would not hear your enemy say so,
For better friend than you it could not blow.

Amb.
It took me up and whirl'd me heav'n knows whither!

Prince.
Just such a wind it was that blew me hither,
And having lost entirely my track,
I'm through this forest hunting my way back.
But where's my bride? by the same favouring gale,
Did she come too?

Amb.
What tongue shall tell her tale?

Prince.
Dead!

Amb.
Worse!

Prince.
False!

Amb.
Worser! if the dreadful rumour
Be true, her Highness has become—

Prince.
A Bloomer!

Amb.
No, but as much unlike to womankind,
Whate'er she was afore, she's now a hind!

Prince.
A hind!—a female of the genus Cervus!

Amb.
White as the driven snow!

Prince.
Your words unnerve us!
F. stands for Felix! then it was no fib!
I've sent an arrow clean through my own rib!

Amb.
Shot the Princess!

Prince.
Too sure I am I hit her!

Amb.
Ah, see, they bring her wounded on a litter.

Music—Hunters enter, bearing the White Fawn on a litter, made of branches of trees; an arrow is through its ear and fore foot.
Prince.
(rushing to the Fawn)
Oh! pardon me, thou bleeding lump of doe!
That you were some one else, how could I know?

Enter Floretta.
Flor.
Yes, you're a nice young man, see what you've done!
You a crack shot, why you're not half an one.
You said you'd pin her ear but to a tree,
You've pinned it to her foot, you monster, see!

Prince.
That was no fault of mine, indeed! 'tis clear
She must have raised her foot to scratch her ear.

Amb.
I cannot draw the arrow from the wound!

Flor.
With loss of blood already she has swoon'd!

Amb.
Have you some salts?

Flor.
No, but in such a quarter
There can't be lack of hartshorn or of water!

Prince.
She's better! see, she opes her fawn-like eyes!
I trust 'tis not a case of “Doe demise!”

Flor.
Oh, yes! I never nursed a young gazelle,
But just as it began to know me well,
And love me, it was sure to—

Amb.
Pray no more—
We really have heard that so oft before.

Flor.
The envoy! no one else would have the face.
My grief was blind—I did not see your grace;
What can you now say to excuse your master?
This wound cannot be healed by your Court plaster.

Music—Enter Grand Duke and Suite.
Duke.
Where is the fellow who has shot a deer,
Despite our proclamation?

Flor.
Sir, he's here!

Duke.
Have you a license taken out, or no?

Prince.
I have no license.

Duke.
Seize him!—take his bow!
I'll teach his young idea how to shoot
In my preserves!

Prince.
Your power I do dispute!
I am a Sovereign Prince as well as you—
Felix of Happy Land!

Duke.
Can this be true?

Flor.
As true, sir, as that here your daughter lies,
By this fool's bolt soon shot!

Prince.
In that disguise,
How could I guess—

Duke.
My daughter!—this—distraction!
Oh! I'll have sanguinary satisfaction!
Prince, or no Prince!

Prince.
But where's the proof 'tis she?

Flor.
The sun is setting and you'll shortly see!

Amb.
If we see shortly, we shall be short sighted!

Prince.
The sun has set, and we're the more benighted.

Music—The stage grows dark, the Fawn disappears, and Desiderata is seen seated on the litter, with an arrow through her wrist and ear.
Flor.
There, there she is! and see, oh, sight of fear!
The fatal arrow through her wrist and ear!

Duke.
Desiderata!

Desi.
Father! I've heard all!
On Felix wherefore should your vengeance fall?
Ladies have had their ears pierced oft before—
His well-aimed arrow would have done no more,
But, by ill-luck, just at the very minute,
I raised my hand—

Flor.
(pathetically)
And so put your foot in it!

Desi.
Forgive him, sir, as I do!

Prince.
Generous fair,
I never shall forgive myself, I swear!

Duke.
And will you still consent to be his wife?

Desi.
Sir, has he not secured my hand for life?

Duke.
Secured it! skewered it, I should say.

Prince.
Sweetheart,
A skilful surgeon will extract the dart.

Flor.
You must make haste, then, for, I grieve to say,
She'll be a fawn again, at break of day;
And though to-night she wants but two feet merely,
On three to-morrow she'll go very queerly.

Duke.
What, change again?

Desi.
Alas, 'tis but too true.
Enter Carabossa and Nigretta.
Therefore, sweet Prince, I am no wife for you,
One so much given to change must never marry.

(music—Carabossa and Nigretta come forward)
Cara.
Certainly not!

Duke.
The Crab, and with old Harry!

Cara.
Here is a bride will suit Prince Felix better.
She'll never change!

Flor.
(aside)
Colour I grant.

Prince.
Nigretta!

Nig.
Yes, faithless Prince, whose hand you sued for.

Prince.
Never,
As I'm a gentleman! Bear witness, Klever,
Was't not my father's act, unknown to me?

Amb.
It was, and to object he left you free.

Duke.
And you objected?

Prince.
Certainly.

Nig.
And still
Object?

Prince.
Decidedly, and ever will.

Amb.
(to Floretta)
Though he can't wash her white, he might soft soap her.

Flor.
(to Ambassador)
He's sadly wounded her black-amoor propre

Cara.
Beware! her rival's fate is in my hands,
Consent, or I destroy her where she stands!

Prince.
Mercy! spare her and take my wretched life!

Cara.
Felix! accept Nigretta for your wife,
And I Desiderata's friend will be.

Prince.
You will, then—

Desi.
Hold! no sacrifice for me,
Whatever fears may shake my woman's frame,
I've been a deer, and trust me, I'll die game!

Duke.
Heroic girl! she cannot be my daughter!

Prince.
We'll die together, then!

Amb.
Is there no quarter
From whence some power may to their rescue spring?

Flor.
Ha! how could I forget! The ring! the ring!

(music—Rubs the ring on her finger rapidly)
Enter Fairy Pine-Apple and advances between the lovers and Carabossa.
Fairy Pine-Apple waves her wand, and the scene changes to

Scene Fifth.

—The Golden Pinery.
Pine.
In Oberon's high Court I've been to day,
Arrest of judgment in this cause to pray.
He has most carefully looked through the pleadings
And I his order bring to stay proceedings.
Against this pair you have no ground for action,
Excessive damages in satisfaction,
You have already in one case obtained,
And your black client's plea can't be sustained
Of breach of promise—e'en if undisputed,
For this young Prince she clearly is non-suited.

Cara.
I say of justice this is a denial!

Pine.
Then move this higher Court for a new trial.

Flor.
By all means. I'm a party to this suit—
Pray grant a rule and make it absolute;
And during Christmas Term each night you sit,
Let's have a well-packed jury in the pit;
Meanwhile, of course, we'll take, if you'll allow,
A special verdict in our favour now.

Finale.
Air—“The Gipsy Tent.”
Desi.
Your Christmas game-laws
Were never severe—
Hold me not cheap,
Because I've been a deer.

Felix.
Timid as any fawn,
In any shape,
From shafts by censure drawn,
Let her escape.

Flor.
Though shallows and flats may have
Perill'd our bark,
Let her, for show, pray have
Letters of mark!
Don't let her stranded be,
Here in the Strand—
Happily landed see
Our “Happy Land!”

(music)
Tableau.