 | The Island of Jewels |  |
Scene First.
—Grand Ball-room in the Palace of the King and Queen of Pharitale—Enter the King, Queen Princess Bellotta, Prince Prettiphello, Count Merecho, and Court—After dance, grand flourish.King.
Was ever king so full of joy as we?
Queen.
Was ever queen so blest as happy me?
Prince.
Had ever prince a bride so wondrous fair?
Bel.
Had ever princess spouse so debonair?
Count.
Your loyal subjects being asked if ever,
Unanimously answer—no, they never!
King.
Such unanimity is quite enchanting!
Queen.
What to complete our happiness is wanting?
Enter Usher (announcing).
Ush.
The Princess Laidronetta!
King.
How!
Queen.
Who?
Bel.
What?
King.
Ye Gods! our other daughter, is she not?
Queen.
Too true, of sweet Bellotta the twin-sister!
Prince.
How was it that till now you never missed her?
King.
Absent so long—residing at a distance,
I'd really quite forgotten her existence.
Queen.
And so had I!
Bel.
And I!
Count.
And I completely!
King.
She's heard about the wedding, and discreetly
Sends, as befits her, to congratulate.
Ush.
Her Royal Highness, sire, is at the gate.
King.
At the gate!
14
What gate?
Bel.
Our gate?
Count.
That gate?
King.
Zounds!
Queen.
Shall we admit her?
King.
Not for fifty pounds!
Was she not packed off, ere she was thirteen,
Because she was too ugly to be seen?
Prince.
She mayn't be now, although she was before so,
King.
(to Usher)
Humph! What say you?
Usher.
My liege, she's rather more so.
King.
You hear! she'd scare us all out of our senses.
Bel.
I wouldn't answer for the consequences!
Queen.
She's very amiable, or used to be.
King.
Well, let her shew her amiability
By taking herself off, without delay!
Queen.
Give her our love, and beg she'll go away.
Bel.
I couldn't bear to see her, that I couldn't!
King.
I'd see her further first, and then I wouldn't.
(Exit Usher)
Prince.
And I should be inclined to doubt my sight,
For how could child of yours be such a fright?
(to Queen)
Queen.
She was so like her father!
King.
Madam!
Queen.
Ere
The Fairy changed her!
King.
That's another affair!
Prince.
My curiosity your language stirs,
I doat on fairy stories—tell me hers.
King.
The task is painful, as you may suppose,
But at your Highness's request, here goes!
Once on a time—
Prince.
Of course it so begins.
King.
Our royal spouse presented us with twins;
Two beauteous girls. Their mother, quite delighted,
A dozen fairies instantly invited,
To give the little darlings all the graces.
Prince.
According to the custom, in such cases.
King.
But when the day arrived—
15
Alack the day!
Prince.
I know exactly what you're going to say—
You had forgotten one.
King.
The most cantankerous!
Queen.
The Fairy, Magotne, with malice rancorous,
King.
Came down the chimney—
Queen.
At the fatal minute.
King.
Flew to the cradle—
Queen.
One sweet babe was in it!
King.
And shrieked out, overturning nurse and flunkey,
“To mortal eyes seem uglier than a monkey!”
Queen.
The other fairies all cried “Shame, perfidious!”
King.
But all in vain, the child appeared quite hideous.
While Magotine whisked laughing through the casement,
Leaving us dumb with horror and amazement!
Prince.
And could your fairy friends no gifts bestow,
On the poor victim, to console you?
King.
No!
They did their best, kind creatures, I admit,
One gave her common sense, another wit;
Good-nature—love of truth—respect for duty—
But nothing to atone for want of beauty!
Bel.
To give a princess only common sense!
Prince.
Wit's well enough.
Bel.
At other folks' expense
King.
But then, good nature robs it of its sting,
Bel.
And love of truth's a very dangerous thing!
Queen.
Duty is not so bad, you will agree.
Re-enter Usher.
King.
Particularly when 'tis paid to me!
And apropos of duty, what reply
Made Laidronetta?
Usher.
But a heavy sigh,
And turned her from the palace gate with speed
Queen.
Alas! poor wench!
Prince.
That's dutiful indeed!
King.
Send her a slice of cake, with wedding cards,
And of white penny-ribbon twenty yards,
For wedding favours.
16
Well, papa, I vow
It's her fault if she's not well favoured now.
King.
Plague on the wench, she's given us all the vapours.
Let's dance them off! Play up, you cat-gut scrapers!
Solo and Chorus—King and Court—Air, “Drin, Drin,” the Row Polka.
Come dance and sing—
Play up, you cat-gut scrapers!
Sound wind and string,
It don't much matter how,
Strike everything to which we can cut capers!
Let the walls ring
With the glorious row!
Din! din! a thund'ring din,
Dancing the new Row Polka in!
Din! din! a thund'ring din,
Is “stunning,” you'll allow!
At the finish of Solo and Chorus, King, Queen, and Court polk off, when is performed a grand “Row Polka,” by the Corps de Ballet—The Ball-room changing to
| The Island of Jewels | |