 | Theseus and Ariadne ; or, The Marriage of Bacchus |  |
Scene Third.
—The Labyrinth.Enter Theseus, with the clue.
Thes.
Thus far into the middle of the maze,
Through thousand doors and thousand winding ways,
I have marched on without impediment,
And cool as if to go in peace to bed I meant,
Instead of battle with a monster dread,
My life, I may say, hanging on a thread.
So on we goes again—to fear a stranger!
With such a clue I cotton to the danger.
But here, I take it, does the monster dwell,
I'll take the liberty to pull his bell.
If at my ring he will but ope the lock,
I warrant you he'll answer to my knock.
(rings)
The Minotaur appears at gate of building.
Mino.
Holloa! what's all this row about, I wonder!
Thes.
I've come to call you out.
Mino.
Lightning and thunder!
A chap like you tug at my tintinabulum,
And that, too, just when I'm in want of pabulum!
Run, you young dog, before I masticate you.
Thes.
I'll run at you like a bull-dog and bait you!
240
Prepare to get the soundest of all swingeings!
Beneath my blows this spot you shall expire on,
Though your ox-hide may be oxide of iron!
Mino.
By ox-eyed Juno! this is past belief!
Come on!—you'll not require two rounds of beef.
Thes.
I thirst for glory—so look out, Bull-calf,
For I shall pitch into your half-and-half!
Mino.
If you pitch—I can toss, as you shall find.
Thes.
Calve's-head, I win—ox-tail you lose—behind!
Duo—Theseus and Minotaur—“Haydn's Surprise.”
Mino.
You another tale shall tell,
These two horns shall sound your kneel,
And toss you up, my precious swell,
Therefore mind your fool's eye!
These two horns shall sound your kneel,
And toss you up, my precious swell,
Therefore mind your fool's eye!
Thes.
Short your ox-tail I will cut
And stave in your occiput.
Spite of horns you'll be my butt,
So, sir, mind your bull's eye!
And stave in your occiput.
Spite of horns you'll be my butt,
So, sir, mind your bull's eye!
(Exeunt fighting)
Enter Ariadne.
Ariad.
By this time the decisive blow is struck!
Either the monster is by Theseus stuck,
Or I have lost my stake in this sad broil;
Anxiety—thou work'st me to an oil!
So stood “Eliza on the wood-crowned height,”
“O'er Minden's plains, spectatress of the fight,”
With this exception—there's no height for me
To stand on—so the fight I cannot see,
Air—Ariadne—“My Skiff is on the Shore.”
Either the monster is by Theseus stuck,
Or I have lost my stake in this sad broil;
Anxiety—thou work'st me to an oil!
So stood “Eliza on the wood-crowned height,”
“O'er Minden's plains, spectatress of the fight,”
With this exception—there's no height for me
To stand on—so the fight I cannot see,
I'm going to sea with my gallant Theseus,
Down among the Greeks in the Peloponnesus,
Happy there we'll be, so fond and gay,
Courting till the break of day.
Tra, la, la.
Down among the Greeks in the Peloponnesus,
Happy there we'll be, so fond and gay,
Courting till the break of day.
Tra, la, la.
241
Our galley's off the shore, there on the sea,
Oh! kill the Minotaur, and come with me;
And as we paddle on, my song shall be,
None love you better than Ariadne.
Tra, la, la.
Oh! kill the Minotaur, and come with me;
And as we paddle on, my song shall be,
None love you better than Ariadne.
Tra, la, la.
Enter Theseus.
Thes.
The tyrannous and blustering bull is dead.
And we are free and easy on that head.
Ariad.
Victorious and unhurt! oh, joy of joys!
Thes.
Release the other Grecian girls and boys,
And let us bolt.
Ariad.
To that I'll be no bar—
But where is Phœdra?
Enter Phœdra.
Phœd.
Here!
Ariad.
Oh! there you are.
My sister— (introducing her to Theseus)
with us we must carry her too.
Thes.
(crosses to Phœdra)
If you insist on it—I'll marry her too.
Ariad.
By no means! we will find a spouse in Greece for her.
Thes.
(aside)
So young—so fair! my heart will have no peace for her!
(aloud)
Come!
Enter Dædalus.
Dæd.
Stop!
Thes.
For what?
Dæd.
For me.
Thes.
For you!
Ariad.
Oh, true!
This is the gentleman lent me the clue.
Thes.
Indeed! it served me many a good turn,
And he deserves the others. May I learn
Your pleasure, sir?
(crosses to Dædalus)
Dæd.
For Athens you'll set sail,
But in so long a run, your wind may fail;
242
Instead of wind.
Thes.
Steam?
Dæd.
No.
Thes.
What then?
Dæd.
A screw,
Which through the water will with speed propel you.
Thes.
Zounds! Neptune won't much like that, I can tell you;
He's not so fond of steam his kingdom through driving,
And I suspect he'll never stand your screw-driving.
Dæd.
Let him with Eolus no tempests brew;
If either grumbles, just put on the screw.
Behold!
Enter Captives.
From prison I have let your crew loose;
On board—ere Minos dreams there is a screw loose.
(music—Exeunt Theseus, Ariadne, Phœdra, and Captives)
Enter Cupid.
Duet—Dædalus and Cupid—“Billy Taylor.”
Dæd.
Master Theseus is a brisk young fellow,
Full of mirth and full of glee,
But his mind I can discover—
He'll with Phœdra make too free.
Cupid.
Fiddle, diddle, dee!
“Make too free.”
Dæd.
Ri tol de riddle lol—well, you'll see!
He will break his first engagement,
All along of that wench so sly.
But if it gets wind, his wife 'll dust his jacket
When she discovers his treachery.
Cupid.
Fiddle, diddle di!
“Treachery!”
Dæd.
Ri tol de riddle lol—won't she cry!
Yes! when the poor creature she comes for to know of it.
She'll very much upbraid him for what he has done.
243
On half pay, that comes under her thumb.
Cupid.
Fiddle, diddle dum,
“Under her thumb!”
Dæd.
Well, that rhyme is rather rum!
Cupid.
Well, I'm their bowswain—so here goes, my boy,
To pipe all handy winds and waves ahoy!
(waves his bow and exits)
The scene changes, gradually discovering the Sea-shore—Group of Nymphs, Nereids, Tritons, &c., and the Galley under weigh, with Theseus, Ariadne, Phœdra, and Cupid on board—Grand Tableau, and
| Theseus and Ariadne ; or, The Marriage of Bacchus | |